Quattro Stagioni

Hm, I’ve been wanting to write a blog about (my) silence for a little while, and just see Richard also perceives the quietness in the field, and also somewhat in response to Rosy’s multiple writings.

For me, it seems that more and more, there is nothing (left) to say. And just enjoy being, and honoring whatever is or is not going on. Without (a need for) a response. And being so joyfully introspective, that it is difficult to share where I’m at right now, because I don’t even have a clue myself, and even that is wonderously fine too ! 🙂
(pff I start to feel I’m talking like Tanmayo…)
Where before I really felt -urges- to speak, now I find I thrive much much better in shutting up, and taking loooong pauses before responding.

Also, some things take time, to mull over, or to incorporate. On occasions I have answered someone years later only, and all that time was needed for me to be ready for that question/answer. To grow into it. Embrace, embody, yadda yadda.

There were moments when I wanted to respond to some of Rosy’s writings (especially the one about Rotschilds etc) but exactly because of what my answer would be (they are not important, they have no power other than our minds trick us into, they are not representatives for any (group of) people) I have not. Watching Esoteric Agenda and Kymatica from talismanicidols and through DeepDiving some GeneKeys have shown me that, through the concept of me feeding it, or not feeding it/a concept, co-creators are we not? And so also not-creators, by not giving something energy.
While still honoring either duality, polarity, unity. Cause whatever I/we believe in, there is no running away, ever.

I’ve said somewhere else here in the field that I perceived something interesting for me in here in comparison to other online communities/fora is: discussions versus sharings. When it is a discussion, there are disagreements, and in turn somewhere someone getting hurt, or perceived as such etc. Even though discussion should/could (!) only be the sharing of different views, and no need for winning anything. Many people (still) use it as such, trying to convince one of another view.
Sharing is just that, sharing, and enjoying that sharing, and sitting with that for however long one feels tempted, and then moving on, while taking that experience of the others’ or one’s own sharing with them.

Also in the mean time, something else, but somewhat in line of the GeneKeys I found out about Transition Towns and even more intriguing Permaculture, partly also through Greg Meanwell’s tip about Anastasia books by Vladimir Megre. So I’ve been diving in quite deep now into exploring some avenue’s in that, because I can see the true abundant freedom in there. No more need for jobs (other than gardening) no more money, so let’s squat an acre of land and -do- it 😉

And the way of the GeneKeys themselves, with the future of it, of me in it, and what possibilities to have or to take in it. Fellow traveler, host, guide, mentor, facilitator. Making preparations for maybe hosting an intro session in my house and maybe even a monthly gathering/happening (pff that needs some serious re-arranging…, park the motor outside, folding chairs, heating, tv/speakers, something to drink, whaaaaa)

So, it is all percolating, in some shape or form 🙂
So, maybe also recapping some GeneKeys and their impact for me, on me.

29: hmm, how much have I not done only half, so seeing that, and getting to see myself already changes perspectives, but not yet calling myself a devotee on anything, only more and more committed. To myself.

52: hmmmm, stress ! 🙂 Yes, even though I have and can use a lot of subtle restraint, and sometimes even stillness, one can really ‘make me’ to hurry up, and go go go, faster than I can actually keep up with, and so miss out on a lot of stuff happening along the way. I do see you, but I have not had time to stop and interact through my own speed-trap.

12: Yes, vanity: mine ! Snobbish, both elitist and malicious, it must be teaming up with my pride, manipulative and boastful (hmm writing it now seems way more harsh than anticipated) But dancing from shadow to gift, to siddhi. No joke. whatever feels called for, rightly so or not, very rarely ashamed of shadow actions.

47 (Life’s work): Still is an enigma to me, reading HDS, several I-Chings, GeneKeys, I have no clue what to make of it, and where I’m at in/with it. I see it as the reason for me being an internalized mind-fucker. Elaborate conceptual schemes which usually turn out to be different, again and again and again. Funny in retrospect, but sometimes quite exhausting.

28: Not trusting in totally as of yet, seeing it and wanting to, yes. Fear of dying but not quite ready for immortality either (bite me, Dracula !)

36: I know of people not liking ‘gate36’ in HDS (darkening of the light), where I’ve read the sex manual about it and like it even more (to fuck or be/get fucked) just because of the depths of it, the possibilities within, cause this is a juicy one. And yes on one level it is only my mind responding, mental sex addict but also humanity and compassion, through owning my own and other’s suffering.

22 (Challenge): ah, the Buddha quote that brought me here, but such an extensive chapter, difficult to grasp, should be a course in itself. However, dishonoring myself and others, graciously… >:-)

55: self-victimization is a truly great lesson, but another long and difficult one to fully dive in to.

45 (Radiance): enter Permaculture I’d say… Feeling for communion, wanting it, needing it, dreaming of it. This might even be my ‘hope’ genekey, what I hope for, sometimes hidden, sometimes right in my and your face, ever since being really little.

8: new, fresh, solo, strong, but not alone.

44: karmic teams, hmmm, fake or real illuminati, my people, those close to me, are me, and together we are, usually being utterly useless… (no that is not shadow 17&18 !:-Þ)

26 (Purpose): the best dance of all of them, invisible action, artful execution, proud ownership, o yeah !