4/6 Reflector PLL-DLR

September 2014

MoonBlog 41.6

honesty, sometimes referred to as confrontation and truth

Just now I got a call from a friend to come and join this manifestation/protest to keep the squat he lives in, which is happening now live, just a few hundred meters from my house.

I find it difficult to say, in the moment to this friend, that I not only not agree with all this energy poured into trying to retain and sustain that which is, but also what a wonderful opportunity for them, to start fresh and new, to use all their creativity into a new project.

Instead of keeping the same old same old, which they have indeed worked for so hard. This big empty nearly derelict industrial space and turned it into a thriving joyful gathering space for artists, living space & highly praised restaurant. With concerts, and whatnot
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We have seen that

any psychic process that controls you gets much of its power from being unconscious. Therefore, the first phase in regaining control of your own heart and mind is to make the particular process as conscious as possible. By being curious and willing to be in touch with what you are already experiencing, you are becoming more aware of the psychic activity of self-judgment.

Self-judgment is the constant valuation of yourself according to standards learned in the past. It manifests as attacking and engagement. The more you become conscious of the inner activity of attacking and engagement, the more you realize that almost any mental activity used to stop judgment ends up supporting rather than ending it. This is because the effort to stop the attack is initially motivated by the experience of yourself as the victim of the attack-that is, the child. But as you have seen, acting from that selfimage of the child-victim always leads to some form of engagement. In other words, real disengagement requires disidentifying from the child self-image so that you can be truly effective in stopping the attack.
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Sweetwater

Sweetwater-US-Poster[1]
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2224004/

In the late 1800s, a fanatical religious leader, a renegade Sheriff, and a former prostitute collide in a blood triangle on the rugged plains of the New Mexico Territory.

Directors: Logan Miller, Noah Miller
Writers: Andrew McKenzie (story), Logan Miller (screenplay)
Stars: Ed Harris, January Jones, Jason Isaacs

Hexagram 64

240px-Iching-hexagram-64.svg

Hexagram 64: not-yet fording; R Wilhelm 64: before completion; Hua-Ching Ni 64: before crossing the water; HDS Gate 64: gate of confusion, before completion; S Rifler 64: almost there; J Blofeld 64: before completion; S Karcher 64: not yet crossing; GeneKey 64: the aurora

You have a friend for many years

and you have a sweet and wonderful relationship and one night you make love to each other and the next day you are not very nice to each other anymore. You know too much about each other because you have been friends. The moment you become lovers, that is a totally different story. Lovers need to have secrets. Friends can’t afford to have secrets.”- Ra Uru Hu

there once was a little boy

There once was a little boy, not barely one year old, all cute and cuddly
that vomited over a meter far, up the walls because there was a muscle blocking the exit of his stomach into his intestine (Pyloric stenosis). My mother was of course quite upset but the GP had said little babies can often vomit somewhat.

In her typical fashion she ignored this outside advice and forced my dad to go to the hospital, which we did. There they operated my little baby belly and took care of the issue, after which someone in the hospital had said; if you’d been an hour later he might have died from dehydration.

me and my sister

The resulting scar grew with me as I aged.
is that how the story starts perhaps?

Or does it start somewhere before that, with how my parents met somewhere in 1965 or 66 I guess. My mother made a little sequence of it:
one year they met and fell in love
then a year later they got engaged
another year later my sister was born (not sure what happened to marrying)
then another year later there was me
the next year came my little sister
and a year later they got divorced,

maybe that is where it starts