MoonBlog 45.6 & 12.1 (exalted)

So this is maybe a kind of a ‘heads up’. As a Reflector being called the canary in the coal mine, this may be relevant. But then again, it might be just me, personally…

So about a year ago, some of the foods I eat started to make me sick, as in stomach hurt and nausea, wanting to vomit, but mostly, diarrhea. I would feel a nut in my stomach that needed to pass through me, and out, and only then would the nausea stop too, and I no longer felt sick.

Now my PHS is Color 2 Tone 1, Open Taste as Determination, Cognition Smell. So I eat a lot of the same foods, a fixed menu that rotates around, and most times similar combinations of foods, of flavours and tastes. And then very rarely but still usually one meal would be replaced by another.

But about a year ago I also started experimenting with making more my own foods, so buying the individual spices and combine them to get the same meals, instead of these prepackaged flavours from the shop. So especially with the curry noodles I made, not good. That whole meal has now left the Menu. But no replacement…

Or, not yet, usually something new comes along and I only notice in hindsight it had replaced another meal, now, one fell away, nothing new came along. Puzzling.

But not just the curry spices themselves are off now, the egg noodles are too, the veggies I used with it, can’t eat it anymore either. So all separate parts of the one meal I can not combine even in other dishes… Something to notice.

Over the years I’ve grown quite large. I always indulged in too much with o so many things, but food and candy too. When I stopped smoking in 2009 and as I got older with slower metabolism I gained a few pounds extra, until I weighed about 120kgs and had to roll and wiggle to tie my shoes, instead of being able to bend over and reach m.

So over the years most candy has been dropped, most fizzy drinks and all those kinds of things. But still I have a sweet tooth and I like eating. Well I like stuffing my face with super yummy tasty things, which is not limited to food either.

One of the things I ate a lot, was chicken. Lots and lots of chicken, it was cheap, easy to make and super super yummy always. As I become grossed out by the watery fat kind of the supermarket I bought lean dry chicken from halal butchers. But then a few years ago, whenever I eat chicken, I would get incredible hurtful pains in my sternum, or esophagus/stomach connection, I think. Stab like instant deep pains.

The pain permeated all the way through to my back and even my glands became more sensitive it seems. I had to take 2 paracetamols to counter the pain. And it took a few times to figure out it was because of the chicken, which was a trip. So, I stopped eating chicken.

On occasion it is put inside a meal sometimes, like a salad, which seems kinda ok, at times, other times same pain, some horror. So I occasionally wondered if it was a certain species of chicken perhaps, but hey, not something so easy to find out and no way I was gonna guinea pig myself in finding out, damn.

A few months ago I started having more cases of heartburn, including also acid reflux, with more unease in my sternum, feeling coldly, sickly, nausea, a bit similar to eating chicken, but less painful. However since it was a more constant pain, also incredibly uneasy.

So I went to my doctor and told her, also about the chicken, which she could not explain, especially since I can drink milk and eat eggs. She prescribed Omeprazol against the acidity, had my stool examined for ‘Helicobacter pylori’ (which was negative) and send me to a dietitian for my overweight as the likely cause. Together with the dietitian we made a plan to change my diet schedule mostly (I was starving myself by eating too little lunch, and then over eating at dinner) and some changes to what to eat.

After a month the pills ran out and about a week after I started noticing the pains again. But also more often I noticed I ate something that did not sit well with me, the nut in stomach kind and then 2 hours of unease and sometimes pain, nausea, and then through diarrhea it was expelled from my body.

A couple of times in the same scenario. Perhaps similar to having been food-poisoned, you know? Once it left you, by vomiting or pooping, feeling all better, instantly. Even if then as food has left the body so quickly you are a little under-eaten.

But the feeling of the sternum, of the sensitivity, of the unease, of the worries now stay, I notice. There is this tension in me, in my body, about something. Something is up. But what?

Is this my Kiron Return May 30 next year in 2019 knocking at my door? Or, as I notice more people with some body felt differences, bloating, different diets, changed appetites: 2027 knocking at all our doors, now? Starting, changing, mutating as the clock ticks ticks ticks onward…?

I don’t know which is which, or what is what, but I also know that I notice something years ahead of others, I perceive without conscious awareness, years before the news catches it as even a byline, before becoming daily news. Sniffing it in the air, of change, progress, of the forces. Forces I do not know, or understand but perceive…sometimes.

And also often enough I’m just a very sensitive hairtrigger and jumping for nothing, you know like horses can do, or meerkats 🙂

Ah well…

MoonBlog 45.6 & 12.1 (exalted)
Gate 45 of the gatherer, gathering together. The natural and generally benificial attraction of like forces.
Gate 45 Line 6 Reconsideration. An outsider that can admit that its prior rejection was an error, will generally be accepted into the gathering.
Exalted: An innate empathy with the outsider mentality and its eccentric and often misunderstood logic. A material direction which serves the outsider.
Detriment: Where Uranus will innovate to find a place for an outsider, Jupiter will demand that it conforms. A material direction that is focused on conditioning the outsider to conform.

Gate 12 of Caution, Standstill. The quality of restraint and the importance of meditation and inaction in confronting temptation.
Gate 12 Line 1 The monk. Withdrawal that can only be maintained with communal support.
Exalted: The beauty and harmony possible beyond the reach of temptation. The expression of social withdrawal and its value when supported by others.
Detriment: Simon the Stylite, total and often absurd withdrawal. The absurd expression of social caution and extreme withdrawal from emotional contact.