4/6 Reflector PLL-DLR

All posts by: Sjef

Yamaha XTZ660 Tenere 3YF 1992


XTZ 660 Ténéré met ~76.000km uit 1992 (ingeruild voor een BMW R1100RS)

water gekoelde 1 cilinder, 5 kleppen, 660cc motorfiets
21 inch voorwiel 17 inch achterwiel
168kg droog gewicht, 20 liter tank
voor en achter schijfrem met Steelflex remleiding voor
Originele (stille) uitlaat
nieuwe Nitro YTX9-BS accu
Iridium bougie voor nog beter starten (elektrisch), zuiniger rijden en rustiger lopen
Goede Michelin Anakee banden, goede remblokken
Recent nieuwe Ketting en Tandwielen
Krukasmoer en Balans-as moer allemaal nagekeken door garage
Alle versleten Pro-Link achterbrug lagers en bussen recent vervangen
K&N luchtfilter en steviger zadelschuim
5-Star middenbok en MDI Touring/flip-up ruit (dark/smoke)
Inclusief originele boord gereedschap (roestig)
Yamaha France Racing Blue kuip/plastics allemaal heel
Alles functioneert zoals het hoort, uiterlijk een beetje veroudert.
Voor zomer en winter, (snel)weg en bospad, alleen of met duo
Zelf gemaakt onderhouds rapport/overzicht ter inzage
Optie: topkoffer + houder

minpunten: kleine lakschade tank links

Moon Blog 17.4

Are we upset for the reason we say so, truly? What is our need to be (so) upset? Is the using of the reason for our being upset not a symptom of something else? Is the reason for our being upset not shielding off a deeper desire for something else?

We believe our being upset is merely that, and the this or that is more than enough, isn’t it? Just look at it, how unjust, how terrible, how awful, how poor, how this, how that, can you not see !!??

Can you not see it my way? Can we not agree upon my way?
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Moon Blog 28.2

self-doubt and worries, as the mind is let loose to be triggered by what other people write, as they call themselves analysts, professionals, and offering not just sessions but even whole courses while not even knowing simple basics. Mind kicks me back saying to want to throw in the towel, as it ponders and reflects, is this truly for me to do anyways?

All those arrogant people out there claiming this and that even if they themselves were tricked by the Parkyns and the Currys to follow and believe this facade they bought themselves into, as they get triggered by their easiest weaknesses, usually money and a shallow self-image. Lured with tricks and lies, but slowly populating groups and fora, open house sessions asking the right questions as a result of that missing information they had not received themselves, being conned and tricked into believing they matter and what they do does. By now, there must be more fake and conned session givers out there, than real ones, as the machines keep pumping out more half-witted wannabees
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The Human Design System

is not for the average seeker, although many seekers do come in contact with it. It is not for those that seek enlightenment, but it is for those that are ready to wake up. HD is not a journey of discovery of new things that you need to learn or acquire, it is however about uncovering that which is a dormant potential within you, some of which you or those you love have suspected all along. Living Your Design is not for people that seek only happiness, fluffy bunnies and positivity in life, but it is for those that can embrace a radical new way of inter-communication, where their inner truth and being correct for themselves is the basis for living life. HD is also not a belief system, but you will realize many of your beliefs will have to go and dissolve, to be able to live correctly as yourself.

The Human Design System is not for everyone, many people make up numerous reasons to find fault with it, or even seek to change it; only one person in six hundred and twenty five people that ever meet Human Design will continue to live by following up on their inner authority. Many more people only talk about it in the assumption and illusion that talking is all it takes, to live your life correctly, boasting about the traits they read or heard about on this or that type without ever applying the vast knowledge of Human Design in their lives, while arguing about what they think it is, or should be, as their minds try to grab and hold onto different opinions and dogmas to continue to control life. HD is about applying, about living according to the mechanics of what it is to be you, it is where it all starts. Without doing so, Human Design has not one single benefit for you.

Human Design is not what you think it is, nor what you decide to make of it, it is not your interpretation, neither your perception or your judgment. it is not about controlling your life in any way. It is however the best thing since sliced bread and silly putty *<|:o)

If you are keen to tread honestly and with humor, to look at life and yourself, if you are ready to jump in the deep end, then find those that can assist in that uncovering of what it is to be you, and how you function correctly.

But, stay vigilant, there are many people unqualified or untrained allowing you to distract yourself from living correctly, as they offer their services in the illusion of having any clue, knowledge nor experience of what it entails to live the life that is correct. And not every certified Professional is for you either, some will speak to your inner self, appeal to you, and some you might not be able to hear or comprehend. Take your time to discover those people that are correct for you, since the Human Design System is certainly not a quick fix, to run hurriedly through the motions, books, sessions and courses, but a way of living your life, correctly.

Moon Blog 39.6

So for a while now, I’ve been investigating knife-sharpening systems, methods, tools, sets, accessories and so on. The more I read, and saw on utube, there was this conclusion growing of which tools to get and how to use them.

And all this without ever touching a single one, but, with the help of my trusted spreadsheet program, to make elaborate overviews of sets and parts, how to combine for the lowest price including or excluding shipping, money conversions, customs and on and on. To buy at a retailer or ebay, amazon, or the shop next door.

Of course I had my share of wet-stones in the past, but realizing now, I never learned how to properly use them, not even for the occasions I did use them, and had neglected them, mis-used and mistreated the knives I used on them.
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Moon Blog 28.3

The 47 comes up with answers, lots and lots of answers. Some in response to questions asked, and some come through the the veil, as if they were pushed through the cloth of it, and *plop* there they are. A realization, an insight, a pondering, suddenly existing in the conscious awareness of the mind.

But… just this fact of having all these answers, come up, over time or in direct response, says absolutely nothing about the quality of the answers, at all. As very often, it is just made up, seemingly sounding true, and very intelligent, so logical, and so well worded, sentences formed, near magical and the ego can run off boasting about this capacity.
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Moon Blog 47.3

Using Human Design as a psychological tool, to free yourself, to help yourself or someone else will get you stuck eventually, because that approach is finite, it is limited, mainly because it is false, secondly because it keeps the mind in control. Firmly.

Human Design is a mechanical tool with psychological consequences, not the other way around. Human Design is not so you can train your mind to act differently in similar situations, as psychology intends, as many other systems seek to accomplish.
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MoonBlog 3.5

Human Design is a tool, a practical tool, it is something that we use, that we apply. It is not a philosophy, it is a tool to experiment with, and see, witness how we actually operate. It is also an individual tool, it is something we need to apply in our own personal life, on our own, for it to work. It is not a group effort, there is no safety in numbers, we and we alone need to do the work. Yes, by all means, sharing our process, sharing about our experimentation with others, be it with one other or a thousand, but no one can help us with it, except we ourselves as we go deeper into the uncovering of how we function, how the mechanics of our Design operates.

Human Design is not an opinion, let alone a shared opinion. Even among the same Type, or with the same Centers Defined and/or Undefined, the same Variable, PHS, or Defined Channels, no one is the same, each and everyone is completely unique, and as soon as we try to adhere to any group, or group effort, at least one of us is using their mind as a decision maker, and not their inner authority. And the experiment slows down or even grinds to a halt, discussing opinions and what are perceived as feelings in an effort to find a common ground. A ground that will never be found, and thus the people forever lost in the discussion about it. Imposing mental considerations to which there is no solution, no escape, no right nor wrong, but just another run around while seemingly experience a sense of purpose and righteousness.
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MoonBlog 17.1

Life as a theatrical spectacle.

Are we the ones on stage after studying to become actors for so long making our stuttering debut or are we laureled with golden statues for our performances? When and what is our next performance, will we let you know, and make a Facebook Event announcement perhaps? Do we perhaps whisper words to the actors, do we write the scripts? Are we paying to be in the audience eating popcorn, cheering on or booing away? Are we the ones running the theater, the lights, the show, are we selling tickets?

Or do we get up and walk outside the theater and go do other stuff all together?
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MoonBlog 37.2

what is the point of telling someone to start or stop (doing) something? Who’s in control of anything, really? Who am I, to even share my inner desires and projections, commanding veiled as wishes? Will this make me more or less comfortable with the world around me? Am I then in acceptance of life and all in it, or in opposition? Of you, you as well, and you too… Constantly reacting, no like this, yes just a little bit more of that, do this, not that, perhaps like this, more like so. Deluded by meanings, results, opinions, convictions.

Why?

Why do we identify with a higher calling of our opinions, of our moral superiority on any other living being. Falling into the trap of comparison and reasoning, logic and even feelings. Yes even feelings. Your feelings for right or wrong have absolutely no bearing on mine, none whatsoever, ever! And yet still we continue to do as if there must be some agreed upon correctness for all. And one is either in, or out of that unwritten correctness, but held accountable for sure! As if we need to find common ground, yours or my common ground to begin with.

Moon Blog 26.2

The desire to be someone, and to identify with something that you like, something positive, is pretending at best. This archetype, or that one, or combined in a hotchpotch of identities, colours and attitudes.

Would you like to scratch the surface?

Today?

Vox VT40+ Valvetronix

The perfect combination of innovation and tradition, the VOX Valvetronix + Series combines sophisticated modeling technology with vintage know-how to provide an array of authentic guitar tones that are worthy of the name VOX. Based on the acclaimed VOX Valve Reactor circuit, which utilizes a genuine 12AX7 vacuum tube in the power stage, these advanced digital amplifiers retain the familiar warmth of a genuine tube amp. True tube tone is pumped through a custom designed 10” VOX speaker, while the intuitive control set makes customizing the VT40+ to your liking simple.

Panel
Rear Controls Panel

  • Number of amp models: 33
    Number of effects Pedal effect types: 11
    Modulation/Delay types: 11
    Reverb types: 3
    Noise reduction: 1
    Number of programs Preset: 99
    User: 8 (2 banks x 4 channels)
    Input/output jacks
    Top panel: INPUT jack, PHONES jack, AUX IN jack
    Rear panel: FOOT SW jack

  • Power amp output VT40+: maximum 60 W RMS @ 8 Ohm
    Speaker VT40+: VOX original; 10 inch, 8 ohms (x1)
    Power supply requirements: AC, local voltage
    Power consumption VT40+: 36 W
    Dimensions (W x D x H) VT40+: 422 x 222 x 406 mm / 16.6 x 8.7 x 16.0 inches
    Weight VT40+: 10.9 kg / 24 lbs.
    Included items: Power cable
    Options: VOX VFS5 Foot Switch

The Vox Valvetronix range of amps was hailed as the great happy medium between solid state and tube amps – taking the advantages of both and combining them into an amp that sounds warm and authentic yet is easy to maintain and retains the features the modern guitarist needs.

The new Vox Valvetronix Plus amplifiers take the next step with a greater range of models and features, and updated amp models that sound more accurate and faithful than ever before. The Valvetronix+ amplifiers are the new faces of versatility in the hybrid amp market.


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Moon Blog 20.1

A little history lesson here.

In the other Reflector group a while ago, some heated debates occurred, some with me, but all of a sudden to the fact it was an Open Group. Open for non Reflectors, as it has always been since it was made, but who reads the about group message that you see upon admission right?

So this became a huge problem, and Sabrina was so nice to make a new, closed group, only for Reflectors. The backlash she got from doing that without consulting them, whoever them are ! She just saw the call, the desire, wherever it might have come from/originated, and felt the push to act upon and did. She made a Reflector only group. It got populated with people.

In the mean time, some individual arguments continued, people started blocking me, I started blocking others. All so we don’t have to be triggered anymore by each others writings. I learned to embrace it.
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Moon Blog 27.4

In comparing with others we always do good and others always do something bad. Only to ourselves do we deem ourselves always and only bad, all of sudden the good is gone. Bring in a comparison and we’re back at us doing good and others doing something bad.

On and on and on and on.

The notion of doing this is good, and doing that is bad, is just a notion. It is not real, don’t listen to it, don’t make decisions through it, and see how your life changes.

Moon Blog 42.3

Sometimes one learns a technique, and applies it occasionally or perhaps everywhere, and might even become extremely good in the application. But the technique is not you, it is not who you are. The ritual of exercising the technique, however well performed, is not who you are. Nor is being a bad performer of it, who you are.

Drop the identification with exercising any ritual or technique, and find who is doing it.

Moon Blog 57.1

it is interesting to reflect back on pre Human Design, and since.

Before, my mind would want to try to understand something, and only if it did understand, it would try out something. If my mind was unconvinced, nothing would happen with any information or knowledge.

Now this has been a great protection also, because there is so much nonsense flying around in the world, and all sorts of people telling all sorts of things, and some quite pushy, which sometimes confused me even more. So I either went on wrong paths (copious amounts of LSD for instance was one of my more active choices to investigate) or closed myself off from people or things

I also realize now, that if I did understand something, I would try it out, but only once, or maybe twice. And fail. And fail over and over and over again, because I would only try it out, once, or maybe twice. As a baby learning to ride a bicycle, or cooking dinner.
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Moon Blog 29.2

slowly one eye opens, then the other, as I ponder on the dream I just had, feeling the warm bed as I turn to my side and enjoy, when suddenly

*BAM*

open root kicking in and my thoughts are;
put on pants,
go to the toilet,
start you computer,
do this, do that,
do it now,
do it like this,
do it quick,
COME ON !

The moment of waking up, feeling so gentle and warm, cuddly are evaporated in an instant
Go, do, do, go, now, do, quickly, go, do !
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Moon Blog 63.4

The wolf is not play-acting the wolf, it just is a wolf, it does not play out the archetype wolf. Why do humans play out archetypes; the businessman, the marrying maiden? These archetypes are just another layer of mental construct. Businessman is not genes, it is an ego construct, a mental fabrication, to behave in a certain way, to identify, and be identified

And we chase systems which have better and better descriptions of the archetypes. Some more narrow, some more precise, others more vague, some kinda loose, but all descriptions of archetypes, as we focus and lock in on the believing of those descriptions of mental constructs.

A better described archetype only aids us in keeping us locked in those archetypes and the whole construct we have ourselves build around it, and are still building. Some systems combine a whole bunch of archetypes to make up for the fact that you are not just one, archetype.

You, are not an archetype, unless it is called human, as your finger points at the moon
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Fender Facelift

Fender Pawn Shop Offset Special
Fender Pawn Shop Offset Special

Pawn Shop Series guitars are inspired by the more eccentric Fender® creations of the mid-’60s to mid-’70s, which sometimes found their way to the outside world and into the more esoteric pages of Fender history. Crafted for thoroughly modern sound and quality, they present a creative alchemy of diverse Fender elements. New for 2012, the Pawn Shop Series introduces an unconventional new assortment of “guitars that never were but should have been.”

The Pawn Shop Offset Special guitar is one of Fender’s most offbeat designs ever. Features include a semi-hollow double-cutaway body with an f-hole and sleek offset waist, a phenomenal-sounding pair of large JZHB humbucking pickups with three-way toggle switching and an Adjusto-Matic™ bridge with vintage-style floating tremolo tailpiece. This is a guitar from the past and the future.
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Moon Blog 10.6

Isn’t having that question blocking your natural flow?

To worry about this, or that, as you stop, in the middle of the river to ponder on it. To try and figure it out, as the river flows on, and you stopped, your questions becoming more important than your journey. The journey you are on.

How do I do this, or not do that, how, why, when, what?

These questions becoming rocks in the river of life. Hard, difficult, as you place all these rocks in your own flow. No one cares, none of it matters, but you continue to place them in front of you, where they become obstacles in your path.

You become engaged and even obsessed with needing to navigate the rocks and subsequent currents, you, yourself created.

I wish this, I don’t want that, rocks, rocks, rocks. As you try to control, control life by asking these questions, by demanding an answer. But who is listening but you? Who is asking but you? Who cares other than you?

And why do you care so much about these questions and answers, as the river passes on, by.

What a job, to acquire, carry and place all these rocks, in your very own life, in your river, in your flow. Read more

Moon Blog 10.5

Who are we to decide what is correct for others to do, or not do?

Who are we to tell doctors and teachers what to change?

If we do not like what they do or want, and want them to do what we want, are we not the same?

Are we not the same as them doing to others, when we want them to change?

Be it children or a developer, there is always a logical reason.

But who are we to meddle, who are we to decide what someone should or should not do?

Why are we in opposition?

Why are we in constant opposition with things in our lives but out of our hands?

This is not about apathy, this is about authority.

who are you? Who are you to even protest? What are you protesting for?

With a poem, a song, a riot, or a gun, who are you to want to change the world?
by force (!)
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Moon Blog 48.2

as we seek ways to relieve our discomforts, as we seek ways to not sit with our muddy waters, it is our ego that is stil in the drivers seat, is stil in control. Your mind fucking you over, steering you clear of what needs protecting. But you don’t really know if that is actually true, because you’ve never gone there. Really. We believe it needs protecting, as we consider ourselves hurt little children, and in some ways we are, hurt, little, children.

You learn to use tricks, low level magic, to try and avoid the unavoidable, as life keeps steering you back into the mud. The momentary sigh of relief, as you scrape and wash off the few specs of mud that got to you, while your life is already preparing the next preamble for your next mud-bath. The quick fix, the quicksilver life, the shallow dip in and shallow dip out, boasting our shallow victories.

Even without using it as a goal, but the youthful rejuvenation is waiting for you. As the mud clings to your skin, attaching to your dead particles, so they can be washed away, scrubbed and rinsed.

If you ever want to be reborn, don’t you first have to actually die…? Then die, first.

Who are you, that which you attach to, is it true, is it trully you?
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MoonBlog 39.5

Weirdos in the mail

In a FB topic I wrote:

“A hanging Gate is a Gate colored in your Chart in an Undefined Center, a Dormant Potential is a Gate colored in your Chart in a Defined Center. Both types of Gates could be on the other side of your Split that Bridges it. The Not-Self not lives or manifests itself in the Openness of ones Chart only, but it is the mind, using your Openness to make decisions that are not correct for you.”

To which this message comes:

Weirdo: “So Sjef, what was you positive contribution to the poor girl whose fucking head you left spinning? Dude you tend to use your gifts on the shadow side.”

Me: *yawn*

Weirdo: “it is that mean, immature, competitive spirit that makes it so difficult to live here. i know you will not get it… however i needed to say it.”

Me: “I was replying to the other person who just blurted out nonsense, I rather have someones head spin then lied to. The rest is really your own black way of thinking bad things about others and really not my issue love, cheers”

After some contemplation I wrote this also:

Me: “So besides seeing people either as victims or as perpetraders, why are you harassing me with something that is your internal issue? Why do you not go inside yourself and find out why you have an issue with someome correcting basic Human Design knowledge? From which authority do you even dare to come and tell someone else what to do, and impose your morals on, in a private message no less? Next time I will report you. If you have a comment on mine, do it publicly. If you have an issue with someome or something, please resolve the issue yourself where it belongs and not pressure someone else to do it for you. This was free lesson, feel free to book an appointment for another session at my regular fee.”

Weirdo: “Maybe it is time to be mature young friend, and see if you can see beyond yourself, and your need to be seen. One must know their audience, to go to lines and channels before someone has had a foundational reading is pure arrogance and truly thoughtless. Also to speak to your elder in such fashion is pure ignorance.”

Weirdo: “BTW nothing to do with morals, just requesting you to not badger people with all your impressive HD knowledge, it tends to push them away.”

Weirdo: “And I do not have these conversations with you publicly, because I know that you do not set out to hurt, embarrass, try to make people feel less than, or make their heads spin. It is just this way you have of being seen, and I will not fuel that.”

 

Just in case some people wonder why I block certain people 😈 😎
(and yes, I mixed up the hanging gate & dormant potential there)
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Moon Blog 39.3

as long as you see evil as bad, as long as you only seek to attach yourself to the light/good in people while adhering to or applying a dualistic system like Human Design, you are ignoring one complete half of the equation. That is 50% you deem unfit, faul, bad, yuck, and wish to condemn, ignore, and perhaps even kill.

And where does -your- Strategy & Authority come in?

As long as you even dare calling someone to belong to a sub-species only proves your very own superiority complex, and excludes rather than includes, and thus by creating and holding the divide actively will also never resolve anything.

You will continue to stay in opposition with everything you deem ‘not good’ on a self taught and imposed scale of issues to concern yourself with.

If it smells like excrement, it probably is…

Moon Blog 21.6

Is it perhaps time to consider stop voicing your opposition of the current system, and actively engage working on the one that is correct for you?

I can see the being in opposition draining you, hurting you. Your Facebook walls are overflowing with your hurt, the wailing wall almost. Is that truly what is correct for you to do, to be, to spend your days? To be in opposition with what you don’t like? Were you invited to do so? Or asked, initiated perhaps?

Are you trapped in this mode of reaction to life as you see it, in a narrowed down view of life and living? Is the being in oppostion something you crave as an addiction? Knee-jerking around pretending to dance?

Moon Blog 55.6

Life (the Maia), according to Human Design, is about Duality.
When do we accept and embrace the darkness, for real? Not just play with it, at parties or in conversations, but embody the yin and yang fully, in us, in others, in life.

Hidden or more openly, many people only conceive the lighter/brighter side of life, completely ignoring their other half. While wondering what they need to do differently cause life is still not working for them…

And what would our darker side of life actually look like, that has been hidden for so long?

Is it time for a Human Design Yin Group?

Moon Blog 56.4

Remember, you can only deem yourself worth-less if you compare, only if you compare to and with others. But realize you are the only one who has made the ratings to use to compare in the first place. This is a 3, this is a 5, on a self made up scale of 11.

So basically you’re only competing with yourself.

And even if you ‘objectively’ were indeed a 3 or a 5, there is probably not a whole lot you can do about it anyways either. Sometimes it is healthy to discern where you are at, but not to use it to compete with, not even with yourself.

Now, what would the comparison be like if you were alone on the planet? Who would you compare yourself to or with? The comparison is gone, and the whole notion of worth-less-ness is gone, evaporated *poof*

Now continue to live like that
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Moon Blog 52.4

The thing is, people want to bond with you in their ways, but you can’t let that happen. You can’t compromise for what they want. You have to bond in your way and yours alone. Otherwise you’d be following their ways to hell and back, living their lives and their bonds, that can not ever be correct for you. For who you actually are. If the bond happens on it’s own accord, great, if not, well…

It is about being effortlessly, about being you, without the friction. Without any agendas, without molding yourself into whatever shape or form for others.

Or even for yourself !
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Moon Blog 37.3

I find it hard sometimes not to join in the clucking and cackling of mind-farts, when clearly silence is key, for me.

Reading these mental insights and breakthroughs, that I write myself sometimes (oftentimes? 🙂 ) too, only adding to the mindfuck dreamstate we all keep ourselves in.

bla bla cluck cackle, bla

I distract, you distract, we distract, nous distractons, vous distractez, ils distractont
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Moon Blog 42.1

“Help, is there a Reflector in the room?”

hurry hurry,
hurry,
rush,
hurry,
hurry,
hurry to the store,
hurry back from the store,
hurry to make dinner,
hurry to eat dinner,
hurry from the table,
hurry to the tv,
hurry to sleep,
hurry to wake up,
hurry to the toilet,
hurry off the toilet,
hurry to shower,
ok,
then not so much hurry to get out from under there.

So is showering the new solution, the solution we’ve overlooked for people with the Open Undefined Root?

Moon Blog 28.2

HappinezGuidoSjef

Last Wednesday I gave an Introduction to Human Design for a small group of people, and yesterday I assisted an Analist at a ‘mindstyle’ magazine Festival with about 20 mini/intro-readings each.

And each time in the beginning of me speaking, there is a tension, a nervousness and even plain fear/scare and within the first 2 minutes I stumble, on my words, or even blank out. So different to work with a group then just one person. I notice I want to connect and interact with the other, and I go deep to experience the other, so I can relate, so I can reflect them, so I use their behavior/experience to interact with. Which is impossible in a group it seems, for me.

So then I shield-up, or bubble-up and while still being able to see them, and interact with them, I don’t need the other anymore to do that, I stop feeling into them as a basis for my own behavior, I stop identifying myself with the experience I have of them, and I restart, I start to talk again, and all of a sudden it just flows from me. I found it really helps to voice that I am nervous with them, for them, that I need a moment to find my bearing. And once I do find it, in detachment, then my communicative abilities come out, and I can see them from my bubble and play with that, interact, make a joke or a comment about what I see/perceive, ask a question, but only after I have disconnected my experience from theirs.
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Moon Blog 18.4

It’s interesting to see and notice how many people ask question based on their own assumption, and therefor trick themselves in not finding the answer. One of the more seen and used trick is the mentioning of needing this or that, or claiming to have needed this or that comment, or person, or action.

But where is that need situated, where is that need felt, but perhaps more importantly, what triggers this experience of a need in the first place? What, triggers, it? Is it not the mind to begin with? Is it not our mental insecurity to experience a need for this or that?

When I/me/we say: I needed that cup of tea, or I needed this/that/other, are we not seeking something outside of ourselves to escape the experience we’re in, the one we feel insecure about? I need that motorbike ride to feel better, but why are you not feeling good in the first place, where does that ill-felt experience come from?
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Moon Blog 62.2

I’m clearing my mind, and its process is quite benign

I’m not asking my questions, anymore. Oh I still have plenty of them, some quite hilarious, some are great, and they are all, still, my questions. But I no longer seek answers to them. Nor seek to share them with you. At least, not for answering. Because the answers will always come to me, over time, regardless of me being with them, or without them. Regardless of me using them in conversations to pass the time of our togetherness.

However much or little effort I put into them, into asking or answering them, they will come, or not.

Or not

And that’s the result of living life as it is, just as it is. To have questions but not necessarily ask them. And certainly not have them answered !

The mind no longer in panic, no longer addicted to questioning, while still being able to ponder and wonder about so many things. Stepping out of the treadmill of prime-time Q&A, the great distractor.

But to call the result silence would be a misnomer, there is no actual silence within, me, but it has become quiet-er. From a run-down badly maintained treadmill loopty-loop with an obese giant running in it, deafening with each heavy step in its relentless pace, non-stop go-around, to a gentle rippling stream of ice-cold mountain water.

Clear as day
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Moon Blog 39.2

There is this chair that I like.

It started out quite a few months ago, when me and my then-girlfriend figured we’d like a comfy but not big/plush chair near the window, to sit in and read in the sunshine while being able to peek outside. To the sky, the city, the people way downstairs. And maybe even sit in together.

As I pondered what kind of chair, I happened to look online at a second hand website and also the Ikea website, and there it was, the Nolmyra. A perfect little light chair, but seemingly very comfortable and high enough for comfy reading and peeking outside, and perhaps even big enough for two. At least it was open enough on the sides.

But, it was not available, it could not even be ordered, and was not in store in any of the 12 Dutch shops. ‘How very odd, to have a chair on their website’, I thought, ‘but to be completely unavailable.’
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Moon Blog 41.4

hmm, seeing, insight. Unsure how to describe. There was a situation, which turned out quite heated from both sides, but were both rescued from doing what was said. In the aftermath people commented on how (again both) kept wallowing in it, kept talking about it the present tense, as if it was something really important. And people should take sides and everything. What great injustices were being done and so on, and on, and on, and on. On automatic pilot, running through it over and over and over again. It gave life meaning, and purpose, identity, righteousness, to boldly go where no man, yadda yadda yadda. The commenting of the people in the aftermath, to on the one hand yes, it did happen, but, no, to myself make such a big deal out of it and get over myself. To grow a pair and just ff-ing drop it, because there was no such importance to it, unless one wants to be a drama-queen. Unless one likes playing the most Oscar winning attempt of being a grandiose victim of all the injustice that life can ever throw at someone. ‘The Prima Donna Originale Deluxe Special Edition’
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MoonBlog 54.6

about 2 years ago I had a breakthrough regarding a (one) victimization pattern I experienced for decades. And as patterns go I felt bugged by it over and over and over again, but I could not see it, could not see the pattern, nor the inherent victimization, let alone my part in it and even me grabbing hold of it, and using it as something to even identify my life in and with. And it also really took a good 6 months from the start of the lifting of the veil until the final penny dropped.

But, from that moment on, I did not need healing of it anymore/either.

I was instantaneously free. That morning, I walked around free from all that past, from all that hurting, from all the sorrow and history and baggage. It felt so weird !

A call for healing seems like the same old same old to me, it means we are still in the pattern, still in regarding us as victims. Once the victimization stops (of money, of people, of situations) there is no hurt anymore and thus no healing needed.

MoonBlog 5.2

we can talk about which oven I use, you use, Harry uses, we can talk about this recipe or that one, but in the end it all comes down to making the cookies, and tasting them, digesting them, and even after, the whole cycle of cookies and you.

One day u will commit to your cookies, or not, and find out how u experience them, so u can share about the experience and not about your wavering anymore, not about your trying, or half-assed attempts. Not about this made up reason or that one.

You take the plunge and try it out, for yourself, and no one else, and observe what happens, as you go along. (on applying Strategy&Authority)

Moon Blog 59.5

Rarely do we seek the real breakthrough out of our misery, our sufferings and hurts. Rarely do we seek the Guide that can help to actually find the door through. And come up with all kinds of excuses like: this Guide is too brutal, too honest, too direct, too expensive, it’s a man, it’s a woman, all kinds of excuses we come up with to not go there, to not find the actual solution.

As we want to find solace, we seek comfort, and understanding -in- our drama, not end the drama all together, that would be too scary. Too real. We want people to listen to our story and nod in understanding, while saying ‘there, there now’.
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Reflectors with their sampling aura

“can close or open themselves to the other…they cannot keep out the transits.

Reflectors only need to be initiated to decisions (and interactions) that involve the other – activities, projects, places, relationships…

No type needs to be asked, invited or initiated to decisions that only involve themselves –

all the types except Manifestors need to have life bring them activities, projects, places, relationships that involve others…
from outside of their aura –

Generators/asked;
Projectors/invited;
Reflectors/initiated…” Leela Swann-Herbert

Easy

As our minds are in constant panic, we cannot fill it with anything worthwhile, yet. We cannot change direction in our thinking from one day to the next.

First help your mind to let go of this panic state, to let go of needing to solve and resolve everything and anything, constantly, incessantly.

Help your mind become the witness of life, your life. Be gentle, be kind, to your ferocious mind.

Stop repeating everything you once thought to be true, stop affirming that which might not be true anymore. Stop from fixing yourself in certain vibrations of being by the words you utter and the thoughts your inner tape-player has on automated shuffle repeat.

Perhaps your way of doing so is contemplation, meditation, inquiry, dancing, love making, gardening. Something, anything, or nothing to help ease your mind, slowly, slowly.

Maybe read not one book on one subject from only one author all immersed and deeply focused, but read a chapter of this one, and then a chapter of that one. So you can open up your being to anything and all, to not condition yourself too much in this way or that way, this belief or experience or that one.

Open up to all of it, while letting go of anything, and perhaps everything. Slowly, slowly. Gently.

(Moon Blog Gate 15.3)

Monsanto isnt evil, society is, you are

Monsanto is just an availabilionist, an opportunist of -this- society, our society, of which we are all part of. Monsanto is just an archetype (a good one I might add) of the worst kind, of our worst imaginings, of our worst -possible- options witin the society that we all helped create and still create, as it is a non-stop process. By our passive society-ship, by our hunger for more and cheaper, and better, faster, cleaner, prettier, and more covenient. If you are over 30-35 years old and have ever shopped at a supermarket your are part of the reason it ( an archetype like Monsanto) even exists in the first place. Studies have shown (yes statistics and lies) that we are more rich than ever, comparing to how much we have monthly to spend, how much food costs, and the free time we have. The freedom and choices for nonsense are staggering.
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Music was not my first love

For a few days now, I felt a desire to sit and meditate with some intense loud music.

Now, most music played on a proper volume has an effect on me, this is why I tend to be in silence and alone most if not all of the time, which I learned to enjoy more and more as I moved out and away from playing and listening to music all day every day since the age of 16 till 24. It was during my break in France where I found the silent inner space within, and since then I learned that music also can have an adverse affect on me.
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Initiate me

What does it mean to initiate a Reflector?
(not complete, and only about me)

I can tell you that it does not mean to ask a question, wait for a moon/month and expect a result at the other end. Besides seeming like asking an Emotionally Open Sacral being but just waiting longer for the reply.

It also does not mean to daily or every gate change of the Moon bombard the Reflector with your presence or conversation about the subject either, because then it would become conditioning. And you do not want the Reflector to feel conditioned or pressured by your question for an answer, cause that kind of no that you would instigate is one that would crumble houses, and you might lose the Reflectors interest forever.

It is however somehow a mix-match of several things. To indeed ask, and also to inform about the question or the situation, also to check in with the Reflector, to see if more info is needed, or just some sharing about the process, about the question. Without seeking the end result or goal then and there.

Can the Reflector find out if it is comfortable to do this you ask? Is it correct for them to do this thing? Please remember, you asked, so most likely the Reflector has no interest at all in that which you ask. At least this is my experience of most questions I get. They are your questions and usualy about you, not mine, or not about me. So if you seek any response, even a negative one, you better come up with something yummy for me to want to answer in the first place. Stimulate me, massage me. Not my body, my mind (!)

But be carefull not to condition me into answering, keep me interested in your quest, but not so that it feels in any way overwhelming or a nuissance. Don’t push or pull. Find the balance, the finer thread of my sometimes delicate being.

Initiate

me

In my case, an important thing I ask myself on autimatic pilot is: “is it safe?” Is it safe for me to involve myself with your quest(ion) or with the outcome of that question. It might be just a question about the design of your kitchen, or to go with you on a mountain hicking trip. But usually I have so little information or insight to discern this, that the answer will be an immediate ‘no’.

And sometimes the person asking does not trigger me to dive into the question itself at all even, so then I would say ‘no, don’t ask’

And sometimes I realize that the question is not mine to answer at all, but theirs. Which could trigger some grumpyness on my side, or some compassion for their question and situation.

Another thing I ask myself as I ponder your question is: ‘why would I want to do that?’ Now when you ask a question to me, for me, and maybe/perhaps about me, then I seem eager to answer at the flick of a switch. Or when the situation requiers, I indeed note the moons position in the Rave Mandala wheel, and note the next time it will be in that spot again in about 27.5 days, and go into the process of finding out what my true honest answer really is. And occasionaly or regularly during this Lunar month, I come back to the question before me, and review my stance on it there and then, and if or what might have changed since and why. And I might even feel where the process is taking me, to already see the thread of contemplations before me as they work their magic through me. Sometimes I even feel like sitting inside in the energy of that quest(ion) and feeling the flow of where it might all lead to, and if this triggers an inner smile and sense of warmth and comfort, you can bet the answer will become positive sooner or later, and you will see me fal into acceptance of the quest that lay before me a moon ago.

And sometimes, I fall into acceptance of not feeling any urge to do this or that, which can be just as joyous as the yes. To be able to walk away, relieved.

Don’t just ask me, or invite me, or inform me, but initiate me, make an effort to open up the journey for me or with me, and try to realise that none of it is mine.

Addendum: You know that thing you asked me/we talked about 2-3 years ago? I can feel me being in acceptance of being able to do that, now.

Addendum: https://www.mcha.nl/2018/07/11/moonblog-12-3-2/