MoonBlog 35.1 Humility

Choice is the expression of a speculation

Either you have choice, and then always have (a) choice and thus makes you a God, cause you can then manipulate it all and everything.

Or you have none whatsoever. (Who once said, try holding your pee in for xx hours?)

There are quite a few things in my life, that sometimes people comment on, positive or negative, but I know, I could not, not do them.

Helpless and incompetent indeed.

Including studying HD the way I have. And now I can’t anymore. I’m done, at least for now, and there is plenty to study more, but I’m good.
Plenty of non HD books to read also; nope, no more, I’m done searching, no more life questions, no more seeking any answers.

Being a passenger requires no doing, and thus it requires no consideration of a concept like choice, or no choice. This too then simply becomes irrelevant.

The question itself, to understand, know, grok, find out the truth about it, is just another distraction by mind to see if there is still just one other thing to control, like really pretty please, how about this one then, no? This one then, ow…

Which if you can not not do that, great

“All the knowledge burns down in the face of Strategy & Authority” -Dirk Nellens (4/6 Reflector)

All knowing becomes irrelevant. All information gets their proper value; which is none. Only mind valuates and files/stores info into categories.

When you no longer need information to make decisions, or even opinions on/about, when mind is no longer the go-to (re)solver of issues caused and considered by the very same mind.

Something is either correct for you, or not correct for you. The Magnetic Monopole already knows, (re)cognizes it, if the frequency is stabilized between Design Crystal and it. Our identified Personalities Mind is the ignorant one. And we may become aware of this correctness too, or ‘we’ may not. More irrelevance.

I see this Trajectory as Tarzan swinging from liana to liana, as the Program provides situations, energies, swinging, dancing, fluid, agile, and hop and hop. Through all the supposed ‘choices’ of life, through the maze, this one, that one, this one is for me, that one is correct, on and on and on.

And some of us crash into trees, sometimes, a lot, all the time, hard.

Does this answer whether we have a choice, to stabilize this frequency? No it does not.
But who/what is demanding it should do so in the first place, aggressively?

But also: Human Design Unleashed – The Choice
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MoonBlog 61.5 Influence

So I noticed quite a few of the questions and experiences of some Reflectors here (Human Design Reflectors FaceBook group), stem from feeling/perceiving to be off kilter, unhinged even, unbalanced mostly.

I’d like to give my view on how and why that is, and yes there is a how to this 😉

So, when we, as Reflectors, follow our Strategy & Authority, meaning when we -apply- it, when we use it for our decision making, the results are something else. When I first met Human Design 11 years ago (last Monday), I simply could never have imagined such a way of going about things. I’m someone who needs to be told, and then I can play with it, and can dive quite deep in experimenting. But before I’m told/explained, I have no clue and wonder around like an idiot, lost, deeply lost.

I met Human Design roughly 18 months before I ever saw my chart, and so it did not make sense, I could not ‘use’ it, I didn’t even know there were charts, so it was just another blabla story to me. And this guy with the funny hat did not appeal either. But when I was given my chart, at age 38, now I had some kind of framework to jump off from, explore with, I kinda had a baseline.

So, apply, apply, apply, rinse and repeat. Making a stink of it, doing really bad, not following it, telling myself all kinds of stories about what HD was and wasn’t and of course my overgrown identifications with what/who I thought I was and had become and my abilities.

But that was just the first part of it, and something I realized again last night as I contemplated some of this groups topics and comments.

But first, another part of becoming more self, and truly whatever this self is, whether it is a this kind or that kind, more like this or more like so, becoming and being you depends on understanding and having experimented, experienced your individual Lunar Cycle and thus how you sample life, differently. Which can be a bit of a leap to get into, but after a while it is like a fish swimming in water, since it is all about the observation. Not the interpretation, not even the (limits of our) perception, it’s observation, and we get better and better at it once we start, go there, get experienced with it. And we already are quite perceptive as Reflectors, so, focusing on that, really helps to get a better sense of this illusive, non consistent self.

And through it, again, more relaxation, in ourselves, and in life. And maybe even feeling empowered (a word I hardly ever use). Not in control mind you.

But, and this is, to me at least, a mix of mechanics and its results of using them correctly, the frequency between the Design Crystal in us, and our Magnetic Monopole is unstable, most of the time. And this is where PHS and Environment come in. Because through the application of correct Digestion, and physically being in the right frequency of my correct Environment, we stabilize that frequency.

We can not stabilize the frequency between the Personality Crystal and the Magnetic Monopole and so we’ll always see-saw between our Motivation and our Transference, between our View and our Distraction, but we can stabilize the frequency of the Design, of the body. And through that stable frequency, the Magnetic Monopole can then hook us up to our correct Trajectory through life.

In about a week, I’m at the mid point of my Kiron Return, coming off the Roof as a 4/6, and so stuff is noticeably changing, except what the change itself is, but I do notice a change of frequency field, for me, to me, with me. I slowly begin to perceive to be called, called out, outside, to the floor, off the roof, and so yesterday I had a lovely chat with someone about many things Human Design and when I came home it dawned on me, I needed to apply my PHS, it is my baseline, it is my go to. Not for the atoms of the food that I eat, not for the actual taste or aroma of those atoms that I digest. But for stabilizing that frequency !! It was after my lovely dinner (which is quite fixed to what I can and can not eat) but also my late night snack, which also is repetitive, according to my PHS, it came to me:

My stability in this life as I perceive and you can too, is because of the stability of that frequency between my Design Crystal and my Magnetic Monopole. And it’s like a game of dominoes. If one is off, all could be off. I become unbalanced, unhinged even, insecure, a mess, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically.

To realize how subtle yet profound the implications are, and how relatively easy it is to simply go there, and do, apply.

And this is without any Transits consideration even. Those can really add to my experience, for good or bad. And so my perception of life becomes distorted when I don’t, my ‘vulnerability’ for lack of a better word, to life becomes greater when I don’t Digest correctly, when I’m in the wrong Environment, in the wrong frequencies, digesting the wrong people, the wrong words, food, energies.

So I felt like sharing that with this group, because it is simple yet profound. Live your Design, step by step, slowly slowly. Becoming stable in our openness.

Add-on: One of the things I did yesterday, was I went quite the length to get one of my fav foods. Even though I was a bit tired and I had to go to the other side of the city center (I live on the North East side of it) and then 1 other neighborhood, which is quite the journey with all the one way streets and traffic lights and rush hour too. But in that doing, it became more than simple atomic sustenance for the body, it became spirit food.

MoonBlog 61.5
Gate 61 Mystery, inner truth. The awareness of universal underlying principles
Gate 61 Line 5 Influence
Exalted: The enlightened Father figure whose recognized wisdom and powerful assertion can mold a generation by its influence. The pressure to know that may result in influence and wisdom.
Detriment: A tendency in power to want to enforce compliance to ensure lasting influence. The pressure in knowing to resent challenges and demand acceptance.
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MoonBlog 49.1 the law of necessity

Birgitte,

in order to consider your request of removing all content regarding you, I will accept the following:

-unblock me on FaceBook first, by all your FB accounts/aliases.
-post an apology for smearing me, my name and my HD work falsely, be just as elaborate as you were smearing me, make this post public. A video message is acceptable too.
-Edit that specific smearing topic on your FB wall (do not delete it) to first make the post public, then to include the apology.
-write to all people you’ve written before complaining about me, like FB group admins and so on, with this public apology.
-Show me proof of all these.

The same applies for all others involved in that topic.

Then, I will take a full Lunar Cycle to consider your request.

Soap sequence here: https://www.mcha.nl/tag/soap/
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MoonBlog 2.5 Intelligent application

The Reflector Lunar Cycle is not a ritual to obey and follow, that when you don’t, someting bad happens.

It is not about ticking off all the boxes of pre-requisites, and then live happily ever after either.

It’s about becoming such a calm silent observer, for the incredible subtleties of what is already going on, outside (transits, people) and inside (perceptions, experiences) self and not-self, that you can live in awareness of where life takes you, what your Trajectory is, and to relax into how choice-less we all are.

To surrender to that, and see, observe and witness, what that is like.

While dancing the jitterbug, riding your bicycle, making out, cooking dinner or anything else.

MoonBlog 2.5
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MoonBlog 23.3 Individuality

On the purity of Human Design or mixing it with other frameworks/modalities:

It has nothing to do with following one persons words (Ra Uru Hu) by the letter, or even the Human Design framework ‘to a fault’.

It is about seeing that “all knowledge burns down in the face of Strategy & Authority” and having seen that, experienced it.

By tinkering with it, to add or subtract, we’re tinkering with knowledge alone.

For instance I’ve been in several GeneKeys DeepDives, was live in London with Richard and others just before the book got out, did GK Host and Guide training, was asked to become a GK Guide, and had a great time exploring my emotional world through it. It was incredibly valuable to me and everyone else I know or came in contact with.

But as I also deepened my experience with HD I came to see, that not HD, not Ra, not GK, not any of it, not PHS, not this economic framework or that political philosophy, not Advaita Vedanta was key, but S&A was, my S&A for me, by me.

It truly holds everything, to make those decisions by yourself, which is often times not even decision -making- but realization of what is correct. The dawning awareness of that reality.

And that there is nothing wrong with someone telling me this.

The funny thing is, people claim and clamor that they are free to mix it (which they are), how open and progressive that is, but as soon as someone is telling them (why) not to mix it, all the openness and progressiveness is out the window and they become fundamentalist mixers all of a sudden, just like what they accuse others of doing ! 🙂

While more and more HD people shake their heads and become more and more silent in FB HD groups because of the enormous influx of people indeed wanting to mix, or as they fear the no choice dilemma, to at least have the option as they then cling to it and defend it ferociously, but not creating their own mix groups, but instead just take over the conversations, loud, arrogant, obnoxious, as they promote their mix, and then another mix, and yet another other with another mix.

Mixing it, is not experimenting with it. Hiding behind others and become false group thugs is not you living it.

Writing their own books, giving more, giving less, changing this, changing that, while standing on the basics of HD, while trampling it all the same. Ignoring the pearls from within it as changing one word or syllable has more importance, than -living- it or learning to, as their ego’s are boasted by the people that buy stuff from them, thinking both parties are on the right track, of manipulating life, of creating shortcuts to salvation and the end of their suffering.

That is not duality at all, “ignoring the yin (dark), only seeking yang (light), living only half of a dualistic life, for moral superiority”

I’ve had access to tons and tons and tons of HD and mixed or altered information, and to see, not just for me, but for so many others too, that even pure HD info is not the key, the information is just a drug (gateway drug?) is just for the mind to think it can outsmart life, pretend to change the mind with more/better information. And Ra was the pusher of it, by popular demand.

And then mind make all these and those connections, and thus indeed combine structures, insights, frameworks.

Until *plop* hey, wait a minute, more info is not supporting actually, it is aggravating, it is steering me in an ever more mental direction of thinking to know, to -understand- but it is a lie.

I don’t need more -information- to make my decisions, I need to find out what my decision -IS-, first, without my powerful mind, and listen to that body consciousness, and follow its directions.

I don’t need to know what Color 3 -means-, I need to -live- it.
To apply it, use it, and see how it responds, reacts, struggles, and observe that, notice it behaving. I don’t need to know what Gate the Moon is in right now to live it. Yes it is awesome to understand what energies are present right now, how I sample life differently, right now. But -knowing- what Gate it is in, does not change how I -experience- life, right now.
-edit- it actually does change the experience, but not for good, cause it steers the focus, it limits the openness of observation, because of pre-conceiving the experience, of setting the mind up for how the experience should/might/could look like in the first place.

And yes information of the framework of the how and why or when is interesting, but by just living it, it really does not matter if Reflectors are called Observers or Evaluators, and anyone (!) -selling- you that it does matter, has an agenda not to free you as a passenger, but is a prisoner of their own opinions on things, and help you become one too. And as we find our mental equals, we can salute each other and tap each other on the back for how fucking smart we are for knowing better than silly old Ra, but never outsmarting our own damn minds…

“Look at me, I’m pointing at the moon”, they say, look I changed HD and mixed it with this and that, want to hear my recipe, my version of how my mind made it -seem- better, so you can seem to feel better about it too. In your head?

No matter if you are called Richard Rudd, Karen Curry/Parker, Steve Rhodes or Juliane Hahn.
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MoonBlog 39.4 Temperance

The last part on the Reflector is nonsensical homogenization, and fantasy wishful thinking writing based on a theoretic understanding of Reflectors.

“Having clear boundaries and conscious awareness of what’s really going on during the game will help him not be overwhelmed by others or feel disappointed in the way the game is going but rather feel a sense of surprise and wonder at the excitement and flow of it all.”

Those pre-requisites of ‘having clear boundaries and conscious awareness’ are unattainable for any/all Reflectors and can not be used as a tool to counter such influences, this is just pretending to have any such control over the influence of the experience, first, and for all Reflectors, second. 7 centered Make-ability syndrome all over again.

Also as if being overwhelmed is something to avoid, first, and or bad, second, but most of all as if one actually can avoid any of the experience in such a way. But then also, as if ‘feeling a sense of’ [anything] is the goal! And then particularly or specifically “surprise and wonder at the excitement and flow of it all” as if Reflectors are toddlers or something, what the actual…?

Reflectors/Evaluators (still waiting for any proof that Ra himself ever called Reflectors Evaluators) do sample, do experience, but this way of writings suggests one only is one if one feels this sense of surprise and even wonder, first, but for the flow of it all? There is no room for things not flowing (say an accident happens with a player breaking a leg infield and needs medical attention, or a fight among players from opposing teams, or opposing fans), no room for unexcitement, which happens much MUCH more often than not and is just as valid an experience, especially when IT IS the actual experience of this, or that Reflector.

But also, as if 3 Reflectors, or 300 would experience all the same in the same situation, first, and only if they have clear boundaries and conscious awareness (can we measure this, is that in kilograms, or other units?) second.

Ah man… this is truly fantasy blabla-land.

Edit/add-on: it seems in BG5 there is no deconditioning and therefor something external must bring forth the peace, satisfaction, success and surprise (and wonder at the excitement and flow of it all), when living your design it is not brought (in/out?) by external factors, it is a result of you Living Your Design.

I can understand if one teaches things in certain ways, this is the conclusion people arrive at. And therefor surprise and awe/wonder happens because of this (positive thing only), or because of that (any other positive outer circumstance) because the teaching itself omits how it does work, so it does not sound too googoogaga, when in fact that is the -only- realm it does functions in: dark matter and dark energy.

And therefor has become yet another way of misrepresenting Reflectors and what they are and how they do work/function, when HD is probably the only tool available to explain Reflectors well, they seem to fucking miss the mark on each occasion.
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12 July 2018
Freedom, Human Design, MoonBlog
39.4, BG5, BG5 BUSINESS INSTITUTE, Evaluator, exalted, IHDS, Kris Prochaska, MoonBlog, Reflector, Temperance

MoonBlog 12.3 Confession

Question: “How do reflectors approach each other if we are supposed to be initiated?”
One answer: “Where do such distortions come from? What does it mean to be initiated?”

Why call it a distortion when you’re not sure yet what it is?
Doubt versus inquiry.

Anyways. This is a nice example of being initiated but needing to process, and I wrote about it 6 years ago here:
https://www.mcha.nl/2012/10/29/initiate-me/

But I’ll add: to me, it is the perception of kick-starting my processing. Just like both your question/answer has. I felt, perceived, noticed I was initiated to answer this one, so I started processing it to answer, and in the mean time saw this question a few times during, but still nothing came to me to answer, while still perceiving, noticing to be initiated by it.

So someone comes along and does something, it could be towards you (a hug, a shout, a question, a smile) and you notice a shift by it, through it. It could also be a TV-ad, a picture you see online.

Nothing magical, nothing really special or something, just this perception, that yes, this is for me -to process- to maybe/perhaps engage with. When or how, is something else, but to notice this, first, is important. To perceive to be, initiated. No distortion here.

And sometimes, someone comes, asks, tells, does whatever, and I clearly notice -not- to be initiated. That it is not for me to process, which is a lot of the time. Much more than when I actually am (or perceive to be) initiated. No distortion here either.

So also, it is clear it is not the other persons doing, that they purposefully initiate me, with their agenda. Sure they could, and many do. But it is about me feeling that this, yes, has initiated me to process.

And then I do.

And then I wait, until the processing has finished and I know, yes, or no. Now I can do this, or interact with this someone on their question/journey, whatever it was they asked of me. Or no, I can not.

So when something is for me and me alone, no one else needs to initiate me. Like eating, or playing guitar.

When someone else is involved I need to be initiated, going out to dinner, or play in a band. This could be done by another person, but not necessarily. You can find out for yourself how it works for yourself, each Reflector for themselves.

There is talk that between people of the same Type, there is no Strategy; so Manifestors don’t need to inform each others, Generators not wait to respond, but I’m not sure if that is true. And I have seen examples of this not always working, so…

To answer the initial question: “How do reflectors approach each other if we are supposed to be initiated?” is, you experiment. Try it out by initiating yourself. Or, notice if you are already initiated by something to contact this Reflector. And if you notice, no, this feels off, I do not perceive to be initiated, even though my mind keeps annoying me with the subject, then see that, notice that, and move on. Sometimes we already are long time initiated and processing/operating accordingly without us being consciously aware, and sometimes we are not initiated but our minds heckle and harass us about it as if we should be.

What I learned through my journey in Human Design, is that before HD I thought life was really rough, and tough, and clear and black and white, that the way people interacted was always clear-cut and ‘manifested’ (for lack of a better word). This is this, and that is that. And I came to find it is incredibly subtle really, and nuanced, very delicate at times. And I was completely blind and unaware that these fine and even minute principles did run me, triggered me, initiated me already, loooong before I or my mind noticed any of it. HD helped me see these finer details of when, why and how I am triggered by external things, that kick-start my processing.

And that having this incredibly rough perception made me incredibly blind. To me being me, myself.
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MoonBlog 10.4 The opportunist

Weirdos in the mail:

Weirdo: how would you describe gate 26?

Me: describing I wouldn’t so much,a s know it, what it is capable of
but yeah BIG EGO is one

Weirdo: whhy is it called egoist
what are people projecting on me if i have 26.5

Me: you do have it !

Weirdo: hahaha
unconciouss

Me: which is all they see

Weirdo: what do you mean?

Me: you think only about your Personality traits, while everyone only sees your Design traits
lots of mindy questions there bud

Weirdo: yeah why not mindy questions?
its interestimg

Me: book a session?

Weirdo: nah ?
but people do see you personality and design right

Me: then my big ego says: bye 🙂
no
only you see P
only they see D

Weirdo: oh ok
but even my 22.2 conciouss sideshould be projected on , are you sure what you are talking about ?

Me: dude, go fuck yourself
are you drunk?

Weirdo: well whats your problem ? im just asking ? haha, im curious
not my fault if you have a bad day

Me: no you’re questioning me, while asking me, while not paying me, wasting my time
ah good, yeah all my fault
the end, you’re behaving like an asshole
(nice example of 26 response for you) *unfriend+block messaging*
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MoonBlog 30.5 Irony

Since we were born, as we take the world in, we seek to position ourselves in that world. So our minds run a little software program with our likes and dislikes, which helps us navigate the world. To recognize things or to deal with the unknown.

And when it meets something unknown, it just makes a mess, or perhaps just helps you to keep your cool, lucky shot at best. So we helped program it, our ego/mind has, what happens when we see a 1943 Alco, S2 locomotive come by and we cheer. Or when someone gifts us, or we ourselves find that limited edition of this or that.

But also when something frightens us and we want to run and hide. Or what ever our response is, it is the programmed software doing its thing, and we run the same paths, the same behavior over and over and over again. The same is true if you are offended by something, you -choose- to be offended, or… not be offended. Just the programmed software doing its thing.

So yeah, you can change that software behaviour, its responses how, what and when, it’s what most therapy and even meditation is all about, but also tapping and even prayer.

But we get stuck because no one tells it is software that can be changed. Because we so self identify with ‘our’ own little program, we think -we- need to change. First that we are wrong and then we need changing, this is incredibly difficult for the identified not-self to overcome.

When in fact that software is not you at all, it is just in you and you helped shape it, but it is not you. To be able to step back and see that…

But how about simply taking the software out…? To stop running that program all together? And find out what actually makes you happy, and drop the identification with that which makes you happy, and no longer carry it as luggage with you everywhere? That wherever you are, and you do see another 1943 Alco, S2 locomotive come by it is indeed just another unattached event, but so is being afraid of something just another event, that needs no action from your software…

Maybe/perhaps?
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05 June 2018
Freedom, Human Design, MoonBlog, Varia
30.5, Deconditioning, Irony, MoonBlog, The Not-Self

MoonBlog 61.4 Research

the mind is finally convinced
yet the body does not move
so nothing changes

the mind wonders and sees
the body rests, or eats, breathes

trying to trick the body into movement
the body is not bored
the body is not bothered

not with politics
or hierarchies
until it is correct

to move
to budge
to strike
to kill
to pay
to love
to fuck
to marry
to sink or swim
to go to class
to travel
to do

until then/when
nothing changes
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a not so Human Design soap

so (carefull, mansplaining here!) the title of the book ‘How to fuck a woman’s brains out’ to me means, to be so devoted to loving your partner -mind, body and soul- that she has no more desires left. That you have cared and catered for her so much, that she says: “thank you, I’m fine.”

Which is what I indeed try to do. And it is a big task, because I’m just a man, and to go that far is not easy. But the journey there is freaking awesome, and incredibly entertaining. No misogyny anywhere.

And one could go all bananas with my open centers and say: “see there, is not-self of him, in this center, that gate, ooh look at the color here.” Great.
Let’s begin with the close read and break-down of the comments on this feuilleton, after these screencaps:

MoonBlog 9.3 focus

Something interesting happened,

a few years ago, I noticed my own behaviour on FaceBook was not on par with me being me. I was too pushy, and sometimes even wrong.

So on December 17 2014 I left FB and started my own website, and a blog, where I could still post and share what I see. Some things I like, but some just what I notice.
And to have an outlet for my own writings too, without anyone commenting on them. And since then it has filled with roughly 2400 posts, links, pictures, funnies, videos and whatnot.

Some of my writings are horrible, and some are divine. Some of my writings clearly show my issues, some look like I have no issues what so ever.
However, they are a nice archive of what I see, of what I notice, of what I deem interesting, or funny, or hilarious enough to blog about, to post, to share, to copy paste.

After a year I came back to FB, and since have changed my tone, not because I seek to make money with it, but simply cause some people actually grow, or mutate, change.

And some people like some of the more divine writings and share them in other places, like Facebook. Like this post:
https://www.mcha.nl/2014/03/14/the-human-design-system/ which was recently shared about 8 times on FB, which seemed to make some people upset…

Yesterday Birgitte West takes this post on my blog: https://www.mcha.nl/2016/10/23/relationship-therapy/ as if I am offering this as ‘HDS Relationship counseling’.

Which is hilarious, but false.

It is posted on my own personal blog and this happens to be a book I enjoyed. I did not write it, but for me, and my relationship with both myself and any intimate partner since, it was wonderful to be able to see an angle I had not see before.
It is a book where intimate honesty is of the highest standard. Of course the writers (a man and a woman!) made a shocking title, which serves a purpose, which I find funny.

But now she is claiming to finally ‘pulling the trigger on me’ as if having this or that sexual preference, or even a mild interest, has anything to do with what kind of sessions one provides. Or that I promote BDSM in any of my services. The title of the blogpost itself ‘Relationship Therapy’ is my own, indeed, which is tongue in cheek, but yeah, there is no defense against stupidity… She writes:

“stay away from this one — sick of seeing this character being hailed as worth following as a so called HDS authority
#notkeepingquiet #malechauvinistcrap #nowyouknow #thisisnothds #sjefiscrap”

And all this behind my back, since Birgitte blocks me for ages on FB, although her other account Tre Cinque keeps a close watch, and she scans my blog for dirt. To each their own hobby.

But also, what a huge disappointment for any future partners, if they themselves are into heavy BDSM, cause disclaimer: I’m not. So much.

Enjoy 🙂
Ow and read part 2 here: A not so Human Design soap

Soap sequence here: https://www.mcha.nl/tag/soap/
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29 May 2018
Freedom, Human Design, MoonBlog
9.3, Birgitte West, Birgitte Westerveld, Facebook, focus, MoonBlog, Soap

MoonBlog 45.6 & 12.1 (exalted)

So this is maybe a kind of a ‘heads up’. As a Reflector being called the canary in the coal mine, this may be relevant. But then again, it might be just me, personally…

So about a year ago, some of the foods I eat started to make me sick, as in stomach hurt and nausea, wanting to vomit, but mostly, diarrhea. I would feel a nut in my stomach that needed to pass through me, and out, and only then would the nausea stop too, and I no longer felt sick.

Now my PHS is Color 2 Tone 1, Open Taste as Determination, Cognition Smell. So I eat a lot of the same foods, a fixed menu that rotates around, and most times similar combinations of foods, of flavours and tastes. And then very rarely but still usually one meal would be replaced by another.

But about a year ago I also started experimenting with making more my own foods, so buying the individual spices and combine them to get the same meals, instead of these prepackaged flavours from the shop. So especially with the curry noodles I made, not good. That whole meal has now left the Menu. But no replacement…

Or, not yet, usually something new comes along and I only notice in hindsight it had replaced another meal, now, one fell away, nothing new came along. Puzzling.

But not just the curry spices themselves are off now, the egg noodles are too, the veggies I used with it, can’t eat it anymore either. So all separate parts of the one meal I can not combine even in other dishes… Something to notice.
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17 May 2018
Freedom, Human Design, MoonBlog
2027, food, Kiron, MoonBlog, mutation, nausea, PHS, poison, Reconsideration, Reflector, sick, The monk

MoonBlog 63.4 Memory

On Lunar Cycle Processing for Reflectors:

I found, that if I entered into something incorrectly (smoking cigarettes, picking up someone in bar me (and/or her) utterly wasted), I do not need a month (processing) to get out of it.
Although, I may have been processing it unconsciously, but so far that is what I think now.

If I entered into something correctly but is something bad, then I do need a month processing.
Also, many ‘bad’ things were correct for me, to experience. Not because of their outcome or what I learned because of them, not any so called logical reason or meaning, but simply correct to experience as an experience, full stop.

I can only start processing something by myself if it is only for me, or about me. To buy a new jacket, or to play guitar, or not.

For all things where other people are invloved I need external initiating to process it to begin with. Otherwise if I start processing this or that job, or relationship without external initiation, I will never finish processing cause then it is all mind.

I can not initiate myself, cause that is mind.

And then if properly initiated, after processing a month and it is not clear, or not a hell yes, then I process another month, and if need be another other month, and so on.
Until it is ‘clear’ until I noticed my body moved here, or there, engaged, or disengaged.

So an important question to me in or before processing is: how did I get (t)here? Did I get into it by my own mind, or by my correctness in the first place? Before I tackle: has it run its course (yet)?

an older quote by Leela Swann-Herbert:
“Reflectors with their sampling aura can close or open themselves to the other…they cannot keep out the transits. Reflectors only need to be initiated to decisions (and interactions) that involve the other – activities, projects, places, relationships…No type needs to be asked, invited or initiated to decisions that only involve themselves – all the types except Manifestors need to have life bring them activities, projects, places, relationships that involve others…from outside of their aura – Generators/asked; Projectors/invited; Reflectors/initiated…“

Anything dealing with anyone else but me, we Reflectors all need to be initiated. So all those situations you can now possibly think of or remember, are those exact situations where this is true. All of them, all the time.

If not initiated then it is (a) mind(fuck).

For me as a 4/6 profile there is an added nuance (not a complication though) that the initiations (or ‘solutions’) come from my network of friends, so for houses, partners, jobs.

Buying motorbikes or Guitars or iPads seem a little different, especially when bought online, for me.

But my recent moped buy was offered to me by a long time friend, from a work colleague of his.
I was processing owning one for quite a few years already (and nothing happened!), but not until my partner mentioned getting one each (ping initiation happening) I shared with my friend I was looking for one, and he told me a few days later he knew one.

An invitation could perfectly well be an initiation. To me it is the perception of a trigger indeed, of my Lunar Processing starting.

Usually someone asks me something for them, about them, like “wanna do this for me, or with me?” kind of questions.

To me, it is about -the perception- of being invited or initiated. If you perceive to be, then you probably are…

…else mind…

I’m an HD Guide & Teacher, but I don’t or rarely advertise any services, until someone asks -and- it is correct for me (too). Then I can shift into gear of what I have to offer, to them. And if that is a course for instance someone initiated me into, then I can advertise it somewhere else too (as have seen in the past)

But I can not just say: you know what, I’m gonna organize one this May.

In the mean time I simply continue to study, or even work on presentations, for myself, by myself. Some may never be ‘called for’, or not in this life time. I still had fun creating them being with them in my own processing, in my own honing of my information presentation.

In some situations (publishing a book), if the conversation goes there, and you both perceive to be ‘triggered’ then hey maybe something happens with it. Or someone overhears and steals it, or beats you to it publishing it. Who knows…? 😉

Or maybe the conversation was great, wonderful ideas exchanged, but you notice it has no life, no juice. No one is triggered, nothing ‘happens’.

And not also buy that quad-bike cause everyone has one and you do want to go quadding. Check, first.

Taken from an online discussion in the Human Design Reflector group on Facebook

MoonBlog 42.1 Diversification

“(He told me) Variable has to be down to the second to be accurate and pretty much no one knows that, so variable isn’t really reliable or accurate.”

Well let’s do the math, shall we? (Variables are derived from the Color and Tone of the Design and Personality of both Sun/Earth and the Nodes)

Sun in
Gate/Line 41.1 02:18 (Januari 22nd 2018)
Gate/Line 41.2 00.25 (Januari 23rd 2018)

Distance/duration: 22 hours, 7 minutes and 0 seconds

1 Line: 22×60 + 7 = 1327 minutes or 79,620 seconds
Each Line has 6 Colors: 1327/6 = 221.17 minutes per Color or 13270 seconds
Each Color has 6 Tones: 221.17/6 = 36.86 minutes per Tone or 2211.67 seconds

Each Tone has 5 Bases: 36.86/5 = 7.37 minutes per Base or 442.33 seconds

Left or Right Variable is 3 Tones long = 110.58 minutes per Leftness/Rightness

Sun/Earth take 1 year to Transit the whole wheel of 64 Gates
Nodes take 18.6 years to Transit the whole wheel of 64 Gates
So per Tone 36.81*18.6 = 685.62 minutes per Tone

Left or Right Variable is 3 Tones long = 2056.85 minutes per Leftness/Rightness

So Birth time needs to be roughly 36 minutes accurate or 2211.67 seconds, not ‘to the second’.
And besides there is always reverse engineering and Vedic Birth Time rectification if need be.

For a giggle, here is the Moon in
Gate 25 03:08 (Januari 22nd 2018) GMT
Gate 17 13.45 (Januari 22nd 2018) GMT

Distance/duration: 10 hours, 37 minutes or 637 minutes or 38,220 seconds

1 Gate has 6 Lines: 637/6 = 106.17 minutes per Line or 6370 seconds
Each Line has 6 Colors: 106.17/6 = 17.69 minutes per Color or 1061.67 seconds
Each Color has 6 Tones: 17.69/6 = 2.95 minutes per Tone or 176.94 seconds

Each Tone has 5 Bases: 2.95/5 = 0.59 minutes per Base or 35.39 seconds

MoonBlog 42.1

MoonBlog 45.2 Consensus

So, another Human Design Teacher described FaceBook as a whole, and HD groups in particular as the not-self world to me the other day. This got me to contemplate my role (t)here, again.

Because I realize these groups are devoid of true HD information, of what it is, and means, to live your design, properly. And yes even if your daily life looks different than mine, or yours, and yours too, the construct of it does not change, Strategy and Authority is not different in the framework of it. How openness works is not different. So I do my best to reply whenever I see or think something is off, when it is either diluting HD or if it is the complete opposite of what HD is, and yes, to me, this includes any kind of ritual, or using anything external for temporary relief, and any and all homogenization.

The comments I get in private and some of the likes from people who are experimenting for a while with HD is helpful. The comments from those that (usually) have not, is incredible. Hurtful even as they gang up, and pound and pound about the tone, about the ‘spirit’ of it, about who I supposedly am as a person, how offended they themselves are by my words about the content they have posted, about -what- they have said. Calling names, shouting and cursing in private messages, giving all kinds of moral pressures of their own frustration and anger, of which I am indeed the trigger but not the cause.

It is not my fault you never learned to communicate, never had any one say: “No, what you just said is untrue in my world and here is why”. And then is unable to deal with that and just gets into a fit and rage. And get all personal about you instead. And then 3 or 5 or 7 others join in with the same bullshit, convinced as they are, feeling empowered by the same stupidity, by the same beliefs.

And not once considering how this holding on to these old beliefs is the reason for their own suffering, for their own anger, for their failed outlook on life. This new age belief of make-ability of needing to be love, of needing to meet love only, for life to succeed, to feel better. And here are tools to feel better. not -be- better, no, -feel- it, perceive it, live in the illusion of feeling better. When year after year even being in groups as these, the suffering continues, and oozes out in the reactions, to people like me. To and about Human Design.
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10 October 2017
Freedom, Human Design, MoonBlog
45.2, Consensus, Facebook, MoonBlog, Not Self, rant, Reflector

MoonBlog 9.6 gratitude & 5.1 perseverance

For many Moons now, I was looking to upgrade my guitar, having had 16 guitars (and one Bass guitar) in my life so far I was looking for something different.

I knew I wanted a certain shape that felt good to my own body holding it, but should also be of high quality and perhaps a looker too.

And this time, no matter the price… kinda…

Easily said, not so easy to find, and I have had my fair share of shitty guitars, mostly because of budget issues, and also because it takes a while for me to find out if I do like something, or if it simply does not work out. So after a few moons processing I end up buying a guitar, and then a few moons later it needs to go again.

Reading my MoonBlogs one can see I have an affection for PRS (Paul Reed Smith) guitars, most say because he makes guitars that sit somewhere in between Fender (Stratocaster) and Gibson (Les Paul), and while that may be true, what speaks to me, is his openness to share about his products, his own nerdiness in going all in in finding that tone through all the little components that make up a musical instrument, his factory, and so on.

Sure some of it is marketing, some of it is ego showiness, a little american sauce over it, but it’s good, I like it. I’ve learned a lot more about guitars and guitar making through investigating about their company and products, something that is much much harder to find out about with most other guitar making companies.

So I had a vague kind of wishlist of components, or elements that my next guitar should contain, where quality was probably the most important.
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02 August 2017
Freedom, Human Design, MoonBlog, Motorbike, Music
5.1, 9.6, E4TBC3_AM, Gratitude, guitar, Lunar Cycle, MoonBlog, Paul Reed Smith, Perseverance, PRS, PRS CE24, Reflector, Stuff for Nerds

MoonBlog 64.4 Conviction

In the shop:

26 July 2017
Freedom, Human Design, MoonBlog, Music, Varia
64.4, CE-24, CE24, Conviction, E4TBC3_AM, guitar, MoonBlog, Paul Reed Smith, PRS, PRS CE24, Stuff for Nerds

MoonBlog 20.5 Realism

Another remarkable thing looking at beginners now, and my own process when I started with Human Design, is identifications.

And I mean false identifications, we (you/me) identify with things that are not true, and often we do not identify with things that are actually true.

But that is only a part of the story, far more profound, is the fact that it is the mind judging it, discerning it, either making stuff up that is false or ignoring that which is so incredibly true. It is the mind who either adheres to something or dismisses it, and we believe it, since we so identify (again) with whatever the mind comes up with. It could be total and complete mental diarrhea, but we cling to it as if our lives depend on it. And we will murder/death/kill for it…

…for a concept, for a thought, for an attachment.

As long as the mind tells us something, we tend to accept it, never investigating it for just another thought which may or may not, be true. And then we wear it, boastingly, proud owners of something that might be completely fabricated and ‘wrong’.

And underneath something else happens too, we consider ourselves the good guys, always and foremost, and most other people as the bad guys. And thus we can never be told or proven wrong, it is inconceivable, since we are the only true good guys, the saviours, the ones opposing the system, the man, even if we do have a little money, or some form of power in our jobs, it is us versus them. And them is, when it comes down to it, almost –everybody- else.

Never me. Especially not me.
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19 July 2017
Freedom, Human Design, MoonBlog
20.5, false beliefs, identification, mind, MoonBlog, Realism

MoonBlog 53.1 Accumulation

About https://www.sympatika.com/ “Your Perfect Match With Human Design“

Are you seeking to date a person or a map?

This has been tried and tried, and each time the mind falls for it, and fills up with the eager seeking and then always bleed out…
Using Human Design for dating is the best example of our minds desire to control life and live in the illusion of make-ability/ manufacturability syndrome (maakbaarheids syndroom)

You see this also in the HD sex group, mindfucking charts

You meet someone, in whatever way and you apply S&A each, regardless of what the chart says, or does not say. Correctness going in and out of relationships is the key, not if the paper says ‘have some fun’ and then follow this as your authority and giving up your own.

If you ever had one…

MoonBlog 31.2 arrogance

In relationships one can be heard saying: “I have a problem with you about money”, which is an interesting story. Because basically we ourselves have a problem about money then, but the mind uses the other as a lightning rod to distract us from that. And so an argument, about money, or about the other, begins. Drama made up by the mind.

The problem is about money then, so we think, but besides money being ‘the root of all evil’ in some circles, money can’t talk back it does not respond to our worries and woes, so money is quickly dropped as being the focus of our problem and only the other is left to carry that accusation and weight.

But who is having said problem? We have, well actually, our mind has a problem. And then uses us, money and the other as reasons to dramatize.

See, the story is not about the other, it is not even about money and it certainly is not about us ourselves.
The story is about the story (!!) as the mind wants to dramatize and make up different beliefs to heckle us incessantly and distract us from things actually already being ok, so it can stay in control to run our lives.

“See, look the other, or money, there is your problem, see how right I am and good I am taking care of you?”

And we tend to think the story is about the other, money or even ourselves, when none of those are the issue. We waste countless hours considering this & that, but the only real issue we have, is the stories themselves that we hear and run with. The stories we are being distracted by in the illusion of even having a problem in the first place. And then we try to -resolve the topic- of that story, with more countless hours of energy, discussions, perhaps even going online looking for support for this issue, or pay someone to listen to us having all these issues, where slowly as we peel away the layers of our thinking about the other first, money second, ourselves third, we think (again) to have a handle on things, on our issues, while making elaborate schemes how to handle money, how to deal with the other with money, how we look at our own issues with money too. Patting ourselves on the back how far we think we’ve come.

When the made-up story itself is never looked at, the foundation, the reasons of even having the story to begin with.
Read more

19 November 2016
MoonBlog
31.2, arrogance, mind, money, MoonBlog, relationship, stories

MoonBlog 37.2 Responsibility

A thing to perhaps notice is our deep running drive, to negotiate with life. To seek ways to alter what needs to be done, when for instance entering into our Human Design experiment. How we, us, our ego, our minds, wants to have a say in which way things work, and seeks to put terms on our own deconditioning process, which is hilarious to watch and see, as we come up with all sorts of excuses why we would like to change our experience of things.

And thus our ego/mind keeps hold of our process, of our lives, of what -is- going on in it. And while continuing to feel a victim of circumstance, of this, of that, of you, but also me, of the teacher, of our Strategy & Authority, of the new president elect. We seek short-cuts to justify the means to reach a certain goal, but get so caught up in seeking these short-cuts, as our minds have laid out an intricate plan to attain it, we probably will never reach that goal we attempt to reach in the first place.

As the Buddha supposedly has said:
“My teaching is a raft whereon men may reach the far shore
The sad fact is that so many mistake the raft for the shore”

We will not reach the far shore at all (we won’t even get on the boat!!), as we negotiate what kind of boat, how much the crossing will cost, how long it will take, what seating arrangement, and who to partner up with in the cabin (wait, what, there are actual cabins too, how much for those !?? Really that much, is there a discount if I do this, or can prove that I am that?) on and on and on…
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MoonBlog 18.5 Therapy

What I find interesting to notice with (FB group)talk on Ra versus Zeno Dickson, Steve Rhodes, Karen Curry/Parker, Chetan Parkyn, Richard Rudd, Eleanor Haspel-Portner, Kim Gould and so on is this:

When Ra says something it needs to have come from the Voice, or it (the mind of the audience) finds it hard to accept. We want to either believe or we do not believe. And not believing is just another belief…
Ra is not allowed (right…) to have understood and worked with what he got from the voice, it needs to be verbatim (word for word accurate) or not.

But these ‘heretics’, those who moved on or away from Ra’s Jovian Human Design, who have not had the experience of the voice know better? They know better with their minds what is accurate and true about Human Design and they -are allowed- to freely interpret and share from their own and personal perspective?

Then all of a sudden the masses huddle up in line to sign up for this or that course, filling the coffers of those so called free entrepreneurs with funds of the ignorant and stupid who lament at the prices and structure of Jovian and IHDS. These people paid hundreds if not thousands for not just second hand information, but altered and changed, mangled and maimed by their grotesque ego teachers ! (while actually stating it to be ‘not like it at all’) Empowerment for only a few dollars less…
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MoonBlog 34.5 Annihilation

we aren’t just friends
we -are- lovers
but, lovers of life
lovers of us

not, of each other

Like brothers and sisters
or, best friends forever
with others for intimacy
those others our fuckers

7-centerdness shed
and included 2 more
one hundred percent
is, what is correct

nothing else matters
that’s how we’ve met.
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MoonBlog 40.1 Recuperation

The denial of the defined Solar Plexus, and the open diversion of blame to the other.

Something peculiar and noteworthy can be observed interacting with the defined SP. It is that many are not open at all to this so called truth confrontation, not open to hear other peoples perspectives on their very own behavior and actions, especially when it is not supporting how or what they perceive to feel, or think to feel about.

An interesting phenomenon takes place that is not malignant, but happens o so subtle but profound all the same, is that whenever you speak up about an action, even a mere observation about it, the other gets told to have a problem, is mean, does not play by the rules, and most of all, they perceive to be genuinely hurt by your remark.

Without ever looking at the content of it, the validity of it, or even to seek to understand the perception of the other, why someone has perceived it this way.

It does not matter even if you are factual, all that matters is, that you have told them, in some form or way as they were blissfully unaware, that you resent them for something, which they feel innocent about doing or being.

It seems a great terror comes over them that you are unappreciative and thus unaccepting of something they themselves see as an integral part of their emotional truth in this world.

Regardless if in that very moment they’re making a fool of themselves, are slaughtering kittens, voicing or writing complete nonsense, or just kicked you in the nuts.

The switch around comes back so quickly that as you voice or lament your concern for your testicles or kittens, you get confronted instead with voicing that. “How dare you challenge anything that I do, you are not a victim, nothing really happened to you, but you have a problem that is sure and also how incredibly rigid it is that you deny this part of me, that you exclude me partially, bad, bad, bad you.”

Then they really do take and make it personal, ad hominem
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MoonBlog 13.6 The optimist

What is interesting to notice, is that many people coming to Human Design limit their fact finding to the internet and/or to exchange with people just like them who also only found more information about Human Design online.
Hardly ever is a session booked with either someone trained or even only very experienced, let alone read a proper book, or even study an actual course in Human Design, or 4.

But these are the people that populate, the loudest, the many different FaceBook groups.

From both my own personal experience and from watching other people, Living Your Design is near impossible without help, without some form of guidance, however simple some slogans may sound, or are perceived. And even if that guidance is from someone who did study and read or had their own sessions, it does not need to be someone properly trained, but it does need to be someone who properly experimented. And I don’t mean experimented on FaceBook, or written tons of articles even.

Now of course some voices immediately would say (shout) that the teaching then is too complicated, it is a closed pyramid scheme hierarchy all for money arguments.

But I say, there are at least 30 books in print and over 100 eBooks available, and most people read -none- of them.

Sure some books are from non-Jovian sources, and maybe those are correct for you, I personally doubt it, but you are the only one that can figure this out, if only you read at least one, or 5. And yes, many of the other publications are far too complicated, but there is a book for you out there, for your level, at least 3 or 5 perhaps even, easily.

It is kinda weird to me, that when we come to Human Design we see it’s potential and are quick to shout out about what a promising system it seems to be, and then what do most of us do with it?
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MoonBlog 19.6 wanting

Just like when learning to play a musical instrument, Living Your Design takes practice. Knowing about Human Design for 5 years or even 10, knowing about some descriptions of our type and even owning some books or courses, do just as little for us, as if buying that fancy guitar, knowing all about the wood and other materials that are used, but never ever touching it.

Not learning how to tune it, let alone actually learning to playing it. Whether it being strumming along with someone else, or playing a solo or even making compositions.

Human Design, and Living Your Design is not about how much we know, but about applying it, using it, studying how to use it. Getting examples from others that are using it, and seeing if that relates to anything we know from our own experience of life, or maybe in having seen this in others.

There is nothing wrong with more information per se, actually some information can really support us in seeing things just a little different, an angle we could not see for ourselves, from our own perspective. But then to apply this tool of Human Design, this tool of our Strategy, in our daily life, in our decision making, is truly where it all starts. Or… never gets to start.

As our minds tell us we will never be able to grab that chord, or play as fast as someone else, we make mental decisions with mental arguments to convince ourselves of our inabilities. Which is exactly what we have always done before. It will keep us in the same experience of life that we have always known, only some events are different, some people may have changed, but the structure and outcome will never change.

We won’t play the guitar, we won’t Live Our Design, but continue to talk about how fancy the guitar is, or which other one may be better. How cool our supposed abilities are, how wise we may become in our openness, without every actually going there to experience that actual wisdom.

Afraid as our minds are, to break a string, or even drop the damn thing, to be made a fool of in front of others, we rather wallow in our misery, that is so familiar, and with which we have grown to identify our lives with. To struggle, and disagree with this and that and o yeah, that too.

If we are ready to become free from the clutches of our past, from all that we have known so far, then maybe, find someone who can actually assist you in the first steps of that experience, of Living Your Design.

Not just more information that seems so yummy but probably only acts as another burden, but actual support us with the Strategy to make decisions as ourself. Support with finding out how that works for us. What our actual truth really is. Practice takes effort, and some may go faster than others, so the key is to love yourself too, in that path of whatever your tempo is.

But make sure there is an actual tempo though.
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MoonBlog 44.4 Honesty

MoonBlog 44.4

Gate 44 of Alertness, coming to meet
Gate 44, Line 4 Honesty, The refusal to engage in hypocritical interaction.
Exalted: Indifference at its most logical and cutting. The indifference possible when guided by the instinctive memory.
Detriment: The Sun in detriment, that in extreme situations, in cases of self-sustainment, will expect assistance from forces it has totally rejected. Here the honesty is the genuine need. The sacrifice of indifference for survival.

MoonBlog 16.6 Gullibility

No -direct- Inner Authority

“if such a thing is true, the mechanical absolutes of the Maya do not hold up”

Over the years there were a few discussions (on FaceBook) about Inner Authority and particularly for Mental Projectors and Reflectors not having any at all. For many new Reflectors that started looking into the studies and materials this came up as odd or incomprehensible. Knowing without being able to formulate well, that something inside does make decisions. In other groups or places some of the exchanges about this topic became quite heated and lots of stuff was thrown in the mix, including some very off-topic personal issues by several supposedly professional people into Human Design.

One part of the argument was, that Ra never said such a thing, and that those people, or Types simply had -no- Inner Authority, and several people believing this to be true supported this.

And then it turned into not having any ‘consistent’ inner authority, which is ludicrous considering -how- the process operates itself to -get to- the inner authority might be inconsistent, but the result does not need to be consistent or not consistent, it is a non argument, irrelevant.

Of course there is the mention of the eBook by Dharmen and Leela ‘Your Own Authority – A Beginner’s Guide to Human Design’ (which is available since April 2012 at Jovian Archive and IHDS and on their own page here) where the differentiation is made between Center based Inner Authority, and Process based Inner Authority. Considering the emotional wave of the Solar Plexus defined people, not being consistent either. The process itself is not consistent, not clearly determined, defined, can’t put a clock on it. But the result, for however much clarity is actually possible, is consistent. An answer will come, yes or no.

Another part of the argument was, that both Mental Projectors and Reflectors and also a few people observing them wondered, but what then, does make decisions? There has to be something that makes decisions for ones self, and why would this not be named Inner Authority? A more logic approach to this question I find.
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Talking about Human Design and my new guitar

Fabrice Mars talks with Sjef Romijn.
Fabrice: Hello Sjef. Nice to see you, always nice to see you and meeting some Opportunistic Role Model, working on himself. So, it’s a rare feat and it’s a treat to have access to that. That’s why I want to give you access to this equipment because I feel that you have many stuff to share with people about: “what is the experience of Human Design?”

Sjef: And it took me a while myself before actually making decisions according to my Strategy and Authority. I was caught up with knowing this and knowing that and then talking about knowing this and knowing that. But to actually, in my case of course I’m a Reflector, to wait, to actually wait with a decision, 28-ish days, to actually wait. And you know in the beginning not even looking at ‘ok today this is my decision’, tomorrow this is my decision and journaling all that. But just to, to allow myself to wait. That took a while before I actually started applying it. And once you do and once you know, once you -know-, then you make different decisions.

And it’s so different that when you are not mentally convinced about it, but you know, you -know-. I jump on my motorbike and I buy a guitar. I -know- this is correct and it happens. My mind was like: ‘what are you doing? You don’t have money for this guitar.’ So…? I did and it was ok, it was correct. And to find yourself not strategizing, not making it up, not … becoming mentally certain that it’s correct. I’m not certain that it’s correct. I do and then ‘ohh, ok, this is my experience and now I have this guitar, ok cool.’ And I just use the guitar and when it’s correct, I’ll sell it. Without trying to ‘oh I need money or I don’t need money, or I don’t have the money. This will be a good guitar, I like the color’, no. it’s not about this mental process, of trying to persuade myself it’s correct.

Fabrice: That’s the key element, because I see many people they take a decision and after, they make everything uuhh, they take all the parameters to make it possible. They go see people ‘oh please how shall I do it? Tell me, tell me. I need to go there, tell me the way.’ And ooh ok sure lets invoke the spirit. I don’t say you don’t have techniques and accesses and I am not denying this aspect of things but what it’s going to be of use for your daily life. Is it going to make it better? Or is it still the same like: ‘Universe listen to me?’
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MoonBlog 30.2 Pragmatism

You know that moment, at the end of the night and u wake up, knowing, determent, clearheaded, when u realise things fall back into place, yes fall back into, as u come back to knowing that u realise stuff, more, when information has made sense. As the wind gently howls across the building in late autumn.

I was so stuck and fucked up just a few months ago, and clearly needed some kind of help, support, guidance perhaps, as I had wiggled my way into distress and mental suffering through reading stuff way over my head, trying to get things that one might not get from just reading, from reading someone else’s experience even, it simply does not always work that way.

So I guess I sort of booby trapped myself in my own process, and was reading both ‘The Experience of No-Self‘ by Bernadette Roberts as well as the very dark ‘Brahma’s Long Night‘ by Ra Uru Hu in the Rave Cosmology Teacher Training right after having finished the fucked up ‘The Nature and Mechanics of the Rave (2027)‘ semester which really did not make things any lighter, and it just fucked me up, big time. And here is the kicker, I got what was said even, that was tough to swallow, I got what was said, what was meant, I could follow this experience of Bernadette, but I could not possibly also share her experience or recognize it in my own life, my own perception of what she was sharing about. And so I came to a grinding halt

Zoned out and outshined

So I stopped, I stopped reading Bernadette while gently continuing Rave Cosmology, but giving myself some space and time, knowing I got fucked up, knowing I needed to take a breather, a step back, unwind the tension just a bit, and reorient myself. But first, just back off a bit, simply ease off, and not push myself over this edge of not understanding, of not having the same experiential knowing, and allow for that.
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MoonBlog 4.6 Excess

a frog’s leap slight return

There are few changes noticeable, some may turn out to be temporary due to the Transits, others perhaps a shift of me, of me being in this world, who knows, but here is another Blog of Moon 😉

After careful consideration, and many moons, many guitars, many try-outs, many samples, I decided to have a guitar built for me. To not have to compromise again, or experience not just disappointment, but even disaster. Or at least the interpretation of the perception of that 😉

So I made a well researched list of the more technical descriptions a guitar should be made of, and how, the kinds of woods, the way to construct it, the pick-ups and other electronics. There are a few companies that make half-finished guitars, one here in the Netherlands that I know of, and having sponged and absorbed their website I had made the following wishes/demands for such a Sjef guitar, this file was first made Friday June 29th 2007 its last edit was Thursday October 30th 2014

The best of a couple of guitars combined, but starting with a Gibson SG body shape made 45mm thick not the usual 35mm for an SG and is already curved/carved on the sides, with a 3 or 5 parts made neck-thru (meaning neck and body are one long carved/machined piece, and the rest of the body is glued to it) with a leaner angle on the head-stock, added a waist cut and fore-arm cut like on a Fender Stratocaster. 24 frets of course, although unsure of the Scale length. The Neck was to be made of Hard Maple with an Ebony fingerboard, CarbonTech Trussrod and a Compound Radius of 10-16 inches. It needs to be carved out as a Thinline (ie Semi-Hollow) of Mahogany with a quilted Maple top which is flat apart from the curves and cuts and then string-thru (no tremolo) At the time I wrote to put in EMG 85 and 89R pick-ups with a phase change switch, and these need to be bolted to the neck, not spring mounted to the body.

Just the woods and their shape would cost at least 1000 euros, then paint and lacquer, all the hardware, another easy 1000 euro at least, but… no more compromise, no more disaster (heh, this is where my recent insight about Gate 47 (making endless drafts ending as paper rubble) comes in handy)

This idea percolated for years and sometimes was shaved, tuned, added, changed until at one point I thought, ‘fuck it, I’m going to buy a cheap Thinline guitar and just jam with it. Not having an electric guitar or the funds to have one built has lastet long enough now’, and so I started looking for some neat guitars.
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14 August 2015
Human Design, MoonBlog, Music
4.6, 47, Excess, Fender, guitar, Left Brain, Mastery Bridge, mind, MoonBlog, P90, passenger, Paul Reed Smith, PRS, Thinline

MoonBlog 58.4 Focusing

Yesterday I did a Google search on ‘Human Design Reflector’ and found some interesting writings. Most are a mere repeat of the irrelevant, meaningless and inaccurate number of Reflectors, and several on the false assumption what Reflectors are supposed -to do-

Not being. But doing, acting, playing a role, having purpose, with meaning, intent, goals.

JudgementInterpretationPerceptionExperience

Reading sentences beginning with ‘Reflectors (they) are here to…’

-‘play a vital role’
-‘experience wonder and awe.’
-‘transcend what most of us experience as a personal agenda.’
-‘“mirror” or reflect the health of the community around them.’
-‘be critics, be guides, be judges, be sensors. be those that can truly sense what is going on around you.’

All of these make a turn-around on a presumption, but, it is not what the Reflector is ‘here to –do-, it is a happening, it is something that occurs naturally without any doing, from Living their Design, as one applies their Strategy & moves with their Authority.

These sentences give the impression:
• there is something specific (and quite diverse I must add) that Reflectors -need- to do, need to be like, and behave accordingly.
• if you do none of these made up and sometimes fantastical traits and abilities, you suck, you are not a good little Reflector, clearly not in awe enough buddy…
• of just another homogenization by people that do not think for themselves and simply regurgitate information, or hash that information into new words (with often even more ridiculous/disasterous results), but are simply saying the same thing: do this or else.
• the writers are not observers and experiencers but live in the results of their mind’s (illogical) constructs.
• that this is their impression, their thoughts on how Reflectors -should- behave, from their own limited imagination, and therefor “I sell you that”. Prolonging the confusion and misunderstanding of and about Reflectors.
• that any feedback will only result in better sounding sentences but not ever the experience and observations, defended as if it were/must be/has to be.

Another Reflector (Andy Pavarini) writes here:
“Since I Reflect you I will not condition you… that is what you are trying to remove (conditioning). Go to a traditional counselor that conditions your aura in session and agree to quit smoking only to walk outside the door an hour later and you light up. It is not your fault… how would you know?”

But here is the thing, a Reflector can condition you, and can actually be a great conditioner (ask any current or former lover, or business partner of a Reflector, or their children). The fact that a Reflector can close their aura to the other, and can have the conditioning effect of others slide off the Reflector does not make that have any reverse effect in or on the other (Type). That is just a mistaken mental calculation that if this is true than that is true, a wrong conclusion based on a false assumption. It is magical thinking turned into a belief. It does sound really nice, but is not true.

Oh and if you’re in the business of “trying to remove (conditioning)”, seek another framework/profession because unless you kill everyone on Earth, and laser zap the planets (and a couple of stars) away, it cannot be done…

Regarding homogenized descriptions of Reflectors, I have a thought exercise, so bear with me (or not):
Someone with definition, even if they have different gates activated in a defined center (hanging gates) that center is still defined, so there are comonalities we can speak of, the definition is fixed, the center will operate in a fixed way. Yes, no? The emphasis on being (correct) for any defined Type seems to be on their activations. On what -is- colored in.
With Reflectors however, there is not one thing fixed, -except- their openness (!). But each one has different gate activations (dormant potentials), and many, many none-activated gates. The common denominators are nearly non existant. So perhaps be open to Reflectors to differ also from each other, as from other Types.

Several Reflectors in the same room will not pick up on the same things within that room. This Reflector will not reflect the health of that community as the other one does. They simply can not. An illusion to think and even hope for that. This Reflector might be in the wrong place with the wrong people during these Transits, while that other Reflector experiences something else completely and may be in the right place, at the right time with the right people.
I think the overal desire and act of homogenizing Reflectors to behave this or that way, narrow and fixed, is a testament of the misunderstanding on the nature of the Reflector.

The Reflector is here to be, and sometimes they will observe things, and sometimes they simply won’t, can’t.

An interesting read with much more nuance than usual (while some generalizations remain) you can find here:
http://www.humandesign.com/no-inner-authority

MoonBlog 24.1 The sin of omission

Hier is een beschrijving van mijn ervaring voor Human Design en sinds het leren kennen en toepassen van mijn Strategie en Autoriteit. Nu kan ik alleen schrijven vanuit mijn ervaringen en perceptie als iemand zonder enige definitie, of heel specifiek als iemand met een ongedefinieerd G-center, waar dit stukje over gaat.

Voor ik Human Design leerde kennen, laat staan toepassen, als ik nu terugkijk na iets meer dan 7 jaren mijn design te leven, is dat ik destijds vooral op zoek was naar wie ik nu eigenlijk was, en hoe ik me moest gedragen, en wat ik nu eigenlijk moest doen om mezelf lekker te voelen, lekker in m’n vel bedoel ik dan.

En dit was een grote drijfveer voor veel van m’n beslissingen, ook al had ik dit toen niet direct door. Ik probeerde van alles om dit on-weten, om deze ogenschijnlijke puzzel op te lossen. Ik voelde me vaak overweldigt door de vele opties en kon vaak geen wegwijs worden, welke nu de juiste waren, voor mij.

Ik was zoekende, en had wel een vaag gevoel waar ik naar op zoek was, wat een mogelijk doel was, een gevoel zelfs waar mogelijk de schoen wrong, maar helemaal helder had ik dat eigenlijk ook weer niet. En die vaagheid, ook van vrienden en bekenden, van de maatschappij, of kranten en televisie die ik zeker toen met mijn grote honger naar het snappen en weten tot me nam, alle adviezen en tips, maakte het eigenlijk alleen maar -nog- vager.

Hoe meer ik dacht te weten, hoeveel ik ook las, hoe minder ik het gevoel had dat ik t ook echt snapte. Dat ik er ook echt iets mee kon in mijn leven. Ook via kennissen hoorde ik over allerlei dingen om te doen, of dit nu yoga was, of meditatie of deze guru, of deze religie. Zaken die vaak best interessant leken, maar me toch ook vaak afstoten omdat ik al snel wel doorhad dat deze niet voor mij waren, of dat ik hierin niet -mijn- antwoord zou vinden. Hoe plezierig sommigen ervaringen ermee ook waren, wat ik zocht werd er niet mee beantwoord en bleef ik na een leuke of boeiende ervaring toch weer met datzelfde knagende gevoel achter.

Echter sinds het leren begrijpen wat Human Design is, en het zien hoe ik functioneer, hoe -normaal- het is voor mij, om -niet- te weten wat mijn richting is, om daar geen besef van te moeten hoeven hebben, ben ik eindelijk meer tot rust gekomen. En, heb ik over tijd geleerd om hier ook vertrouwen in te hebben, dat dit voor mij zelfs helemaal correct is.

Uiteraard niet zonder slag of stoot, en nog af en toe voel ik twijfel opkomen, mijn mind die opnieuw in de stress schiet over dit, en over dat. Het niet meer hoeven snappen wie ik ben, zorgt voor een dieper weten. Dat ik ok ben, en dat ik me juist helemaal niet anders hoef te gedragen, dat ik prima mezelf kan zijn zonder dit weten. Dat dit onweten juist -is- wie ik ben, en hoe ik functioneer. En… dat ik dus ook echt helemaal niemand anders hoef na te doen, of hoef op te volgen, om mezelf te zijn.

En heel langzaam, die gewaarwording, dat ervaren van hoe correct dat eigenlijk is, geeft de rust die ik zocht, geeft dat lekker in m’n vel voelen met mezelf.

Zonder enige externe invloed of handeling.

Dit is voor mij in een notedop, de grote waarde van Human Design, dat je leert inzien hoe correct je eigenlijk bent, hoe je optimaal functioneert als jezelf. Soms met snappen, maar zeker ook zonder. Dat deze praktische kennis over ons mechanische functioneren, hele diepe en verreikende consequenties heeft. Dat echt enorm veel vragen helemaal wegvallen, zonder dat ze beantwoordt zijn (!) Ze zijn niet meer van belang. En -dat- geeft enorm veel rust, ook als ik ns niet lekker in m’n vel zit.
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MoonBlog 13.3 Pessimism

I feel nowhere more near to any waking up, as to when I was about 12-13 years old and cried my eyes out and lamented to the people in the room to want to be grown up.
No one asked precisely why I would want that or seek the cause of the depth of that desire, but I knew then and still do now, it was because I could make my own damn choices and not be so dependent on others, even parents. Or maybe especially them, at least back then.

I feel deeper and deeper aware these days, some 33 years later, aware of what life is about, as I tap into my memories of my past and all that I witnessed and learned. Things I experienced, for real, things I imagined, for real too, things that made sense, in the long deep grinding time consuming contemplations, years went by, sometimes crawling sometimes flying.

But still nowhere pushing through, punching through any veil.

Playing with both the deeper explorations of duality through this Human Design system, as well as exploring this otherworldy space of non-duality.

I’ve always been very reluctant of any kind of system, or teaching, person, guru, modality, religion or belief. That is, from others. My own ofcourse were carefully grown and then groomed, to flourish over time. I’ve always been quite contemplative, and sometimes feel I’m onto something, and then regularly fall back into unknowing, ununderstanding, not comprehending, not being able to tie the knots or connect the dots, over and over and over again.

I met, people into, Osho (Bhagwan) twice in my life but never felt drawn to follow these people to follow this guru kind of person, and his/their teachings and rules, until a third time only 5 years ago, I then ended up visiting the Resort in Puna India for about 3 months and had an interesting time, started reading his books and generally like what is said. Generally. I am not the kind of person to adhere to communal endeavors. I’d love to visit there again, and perhaps say hi to some of the people I met there, and meet some new ones, but he, nor anyone else is my one and only go to kind of inspiration. Or shuffler of my mental deck
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MoonBlog 12.3 Confession

How small they are, that we can not see
How small they are, that we stop looking
How small we are

MoonBlog 12.3

Gate 12 of caution, standstill. The quality of restraint and the importance of meditation and inaction in confronting temptation.

Gate 12 Line 3 Confession. The process of self-analysis.
Exalted: The recognition of inadequacies and the purging of unjustified vanities. The expression of inadequacies in social interaction that leads to self-analysis and caution.
Detriment: A perverse and often exaggerated self-hatred. Inadequacies in social interaction that lead to the expression of self-hatred.
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Living Your Design Student manual

Reading through the latest version of the LYD Student Manual I found a few things that had typos, or words missing, or I simply wondered about what is being said, an overview/rundown:

Page 1: “If you could observe the planets and their movements for a few hundred years, you would see that each planet moves at a different speed, yet synchronized the others.”
– They do? Each planet synchronized the others?

Page 8: “It was abandoned about 300 years ago” & Page 9: “The well dried up about two hundred years ago. That is why the house was given up.”
– So about 300 years ago it was already abandoned and about 100 years later the well dried up.

Page 19: “Through living your lives according to your Strategy and Authority, the Personality and the Design live express correct roles.”
– ‘live and express’?

Page 20: “Your Undefined Center become deeply conditioned by being in their auras to the point that, by age seven, your conditioning is eastablished.”
– ‘established’

Page 45: “People with Undefined Throats need find a place inside themselves where they are comfortable being quiet.”
– ‘need to find’?

Page 48: “When we resolve this internal conflict and attain a state of self-love and acceptance, and then we can give and receive love.”
– one and too much? ‘self-love and acceptance, then we‘

Page 55: “Motors, the Heart, Solar Plexus, Sacral, and Root Centers, have more energy and more intensity than the other Centers – The Spleed, G Center, Throat, Ajna and Head Centers.”
– ‘Spleen’

Page 63: “Someone with an Undefined Sacral runs around on the borrowed energy of someone else, such as a child, friend, lover or co-worker, in their aura. It could be a child, friend, lover or co-worker.”
– ‘the child, friend, lover or co-worker’ mentioned twice
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15 June 2015
Books, Human Design, MoonBlog
16.6, Book Review, Gullibility, Lunar Cycle, LYD manual, Lynda Bunnell, MoonBlog, Ra Uru Hu, Reflector

MoonBlog 39.2 Confrontation

Goodbye Richard Rudd.

I have enjoyed and loved the GeneKeys, and the many people I met through it, and both the book as well as the Golden Path sequencing are a treasure to be had for many seekers of being yourself. Those who seek to understand themselves, and the GeneKeys as I met them provides a view to look at ourselves quite beyond any other. Giving clues to some of our own personal behaviour, our mental hooks and triggers, as well as some of our behaviour in groups or society at large. The individual and the Collective.

But something has been nagging me for a little while now, and I’ve noticed it before when Richard was still in Human Design too, which is that some things are his personal journey, and they are 100% valid in his personal journey, I can not possibly say otherwise. Well yes, I could say it, but it would not be more or less true if I would. But what is nagging is that some of this personal journey is being sold, and I mean this in both a show and tell kind of ego presentation as well as actually exchanging information for monies, sold as if it were transferable and applicable to all people.

I’ve started noticing it in his ‘Seven Years On the Wheel of Passage’, which still today is being gifted as a free Human Design tool. A tool thus that one could use for their own process, their own journey, by calling it a formula. But what many people fail to recognize, whether in Human Design or in the GeneKeys, this is -his- formula, you are being distracted from finding your own by following his formula, or anyone’s formula ! Because listen carefully: there is no one formula. There is not even a formula for -you-. There is nothing to repeat, or do similarly, not even for him, or for me.
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21 May 2015
Freedom, MoonBlog
39.2, Confrontation, cult, GeneKeys, MoonBlog, Religion, Richard Rudd

MoonBlog 32.2 restraint

It is becoming self-evident how correct it is for me to be alone most of the time. How fluid life becomes, and living it, being me most/all the time. How correct it is to only connect with others, when it is correct, and not when it is a distraction, or becomes one.

And I do also mean with a lover or partner, or even a fuck-buddy. What a distraction this can become from being in your flow.

Not that I do not miss being with another, deeply, especially to love and fuck with a beautiful woman, but recognizing how correct it is to be, me.

What a drain on energy it is to maintain certain relationships, interactions, when this maintenance is only requiered from the mind, from ego perhaps. How it is veiled up, this need to maintain, by a perceived lack or a fear, or just another mental fad, an idea, a concept, a construct.

The love is real, the love does not fade, there simply is no energy, no consistent energy to maintain anything. Nor is there a need for that (!).

Perhaps it is conditioning to behave in certain ways, to constantly need to re-affirm the being together, to confirm the desire love and lust for one another, by repeating day after day, after day, after day the being together, of being in contact even together. Wheter In Real Life or in aura, or be it through skype, email, facebook, whatsapp, text, telephone, all these technologies, to constantly be ‘together’, be with the other.

And, only through a break-up, a cut of the sword, and all previous connecting forms deleted, purged, ignored, blacklisted, canned and trashed, does one become apparant, how cool it is to be you, to be fully you, yourself.

While still missing the other, or the kind of connections one makes when becoming more intimate. The levels of sharing, exchanging more innermosts, secrets perhaps, but pondering and thoughts, sharing of the experiences and interpretations of ones activities and perceptions.

While seeing, ever more clearly as the fog of this lover, or that lover, the fog of yourself, slowly lifts to reveal, you, just simply and bare, you. And what a joy of a ride it is to be you, pulsating, alive, relaxed, breathing, you.

Open to connect, but on the basis of connecting when connecting, without any force or thought of need or must or fear within. With nothing to prove or disprove, nothing to adhere to, no need to confirm nor deny. It’s not personal, it’s mechanical

Take it easy baby, take it as it comes. No if’s.

MoonBlog 6.6 the peacemaker

This society, your society, is fake. It is made up, it is constructed. There is nothing to adhere to or join, or need to do.
Suppose someone once said, let’s play tic-tac-toe, because they felt like it. No particular reason, no grand scheme of contemplation and planning, just a simple game of tic-tac-toe.

And people liked playing tic-tac-toe, and people enjoyed watching others playing tic-tac-toe. Some people even starting giving food and shelter or monies to those players of tic-tac-toe.

Some became really good at playing tic-tac-toe and they invented tournaments and trainingcamps and prizes, and medals en achievements, levels and difficulties.

And since in this society, that slowly grew it always rained at 3 in the afternoon, every day at 3 it rained. And someone said, let’s play tic-tac-toe at 7 in the morning to begin with, but let’s never play when it rains.

Slowly over time, people started playing tic-tac-toe in the earliest of the days, and never at 3, we can control how we experience our soceity, so let’s make rules like these, because they make sense and are logical. At some point in time it even became forbidden to play tic-tac-toe when it rained. It became illegal.

And you, me, we all are law abiding citizens, we can not think for ourselves so we not only obeyed the rules but started telling others to abide by this rule too. We started getting up really early in the morning to start playing tic-tac-toe and felt a sense of accomplishment from doing so, from pushing ourselves to get up this early, and be all ready, well dressed, eaten, traveled to the location for playing tic-tac-toe at the earliest at 7 in the morning.

MoonBlog 51.1 reference

Reading the 1st lecture of Rave Cosmology 3, Dying, Death and Bardo Stages, I suddenly think both my parents had a near complete Bardo (ie 72 hours) due to circumstances.

My father had a stroke while in the shower, at age 36. He was born with some kind of heart issue which he never spoke about. Even on our questions why he was never in military service he replied with: ‘feet too big’. Supposedly he should have taken better care of himself, on his health and body and nutrition. Personally I think this is complete bullshit and just an excuse to explain something unexplainable. For a while as a child I believed it, and it seemed to make sense. Now that I’m older I see the irrelevance of this nonsense talk. I mean we lived in a normal house with heating and plumbing and windows, we had enough meals a day for sustenance. And the food was regular food. I never saw him eat supposed horrible foods either. But I digress…

After the stroke, he was brought to hospital in the nearby city. We (me and my 2 sisters) were taken care of by hired help and were sent to school and such and I guess I visited once in that time, early on. He was there for about a week, maybe 2, until he died, unable to recover. But since we had not seen him for about a week, we lamented (at least I did, in my memory) of wanting to see him once more before his cremation, I can not say for certain if he was held underground or not, and I might find the actual dates and such, but I have this thought that our wanting to see him, gave him some time to leave correctly.
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MoonBlog 42.4 The middle man

The MoonBlog is on its return, as I am less engaged with others, less interacting with their and my own not-self, there is less to write about, less to be upset about, and less insights arrive through the things that come up and play out. As the noise levels are lowered, as there is less information and interactions filtered, what remains, is me. Me doing, me being, me thinking, me farting, me me. Just me.

And there is a lot of me being simply ok, simply being. It is in the interacting where things get yummy. Where things get personal, or become it, get made personal. While actually, on your own, or from your own self is the most personal you get to ever get, in the interaction is where we, or at least I, really can get personal. This is where the drama enfolds, this is where the show really begins. On my own, by myself, even while doing grocery shopping, not much is going on. The choices that present themselves to be made, get made, with not a lot of fuzz, if any. But when it comes to you, and me, in interaction, oh boy, that is where the engines are started, the sparks start flying and we begin to roar…

For territory, for ego, for all the things we expect from that other, impose as rules, conditions for those interactions. By my rules or not.

When looking at your solitary life, there is not a lot that is not ok, there is not a lot that is bugging, you/me as an individual are functioning quite well. We get up, we wash, we feed, we think, we poop, we read a book, we simply function, day in, day out. We would hardly impose that many rules on yourself, and otherwise they will wear off over time, look at the stories of recluses who stop getting dressed or shave and so on. You really get to drop some pretenses, some conditioning, some cultural habits. Which is added dress-up behaviour.

When interacting with others, all that stuff is used, and put in position even, to presume boundaries, to presume go and no-go areas of that interaction. Everything is rigged, and put well into place and from those individual made up fortified positions, we interact, we converse, we shower the other with birthday greetings, or presume to give non-reciprocal gifts. Such a weird animal we are, all those ritualistic dances and poses, acts and actors as the narrator speaks: “and here we see the mating dance of the idiot, the human idiot”

And to find out, and then take offence, when we are not accepted, but we are tolerated. By someone we (f)actually do the same to, we tolerate them too. And now, they have shown to actually only tolerate us for whatever reason works for them, and you/me/we get upset. We get upset with the confrontation of that truth, and, we get to no longer even tolerate them, us that is soooo accepting of others, ha! If you operate within this frequency band, then we can interact like this. And if you operate within this frequency band, we really do get to interact like this, yeah, awesome ! But no, if you operate in that frequency band, then no, we can not interact in any way.

How others can be a mirror, to get to see our very own chalking of imaginary lines on imaginary playing fields, if we dare look, if we dare accept that truth. I have never accepted you, my relation to you and my relationship with you is always subject to a myriad of conditions, of pre-texts and set-ups, always. And when you, being yourself hopefully, but even if you were not you, behaving as you, when you cross my lines, my conditions for interacting, what my Inner Authority deems correct, then that tolerance is over, that tolerance of your behaviour.

‘Mind your step, mind your step’ echoes through the hall of the airport by the speaker near the flat-conveyor belt. Now that is honesty, mind your fucking step buster… or else… or else tolerate my wrath, my disgust, my, my…

cookie?
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Book Review: Human Design, de blauwdruk van je leven

Ik ben zelf meer dan bijzonder blij met het boek, omdat er voor publicatie ongelofelijk veel vrije interpretatie van Human Design was en is.

Die soms opmerkelijk interpretatie komt mijn inziens enerzijds door de soms moeilijke vertaalslag van Engels naar Nederlands voor die Nederlanders die met Human Design in aanraking kwamen en al dan niet zo goed het Engels beheersen. Anderzijds omdat we nu eenmaal allemaal best intensief geconditioneerd zijn en zowel de leercurve aan het begin nogal flink is, en we vaak heel slecht zelf door hebben wat een wartaal er soms uit onze mind/mond komt. Daarnaast zijn we vaak letterlijk blind voor zaken die we als heel normaal beschouwen en zelfs als belangrijk onderdeel van onze identiteit of geloofsstructuur zien. En, Human Design is echt een andere manier van kijken naar jezelf en het leven, echt radicaal anders.

Dit boek heeft, naar mijn niet zo heel bescheiden mening, Human Design in het Nederlands op een heel hoog plan getild, en kan men nu heel eenvoudig naar het boek verwijzen in plaats van persoonlijke discussie’s te moeten hoeven aangaan wat vaak alleen een ego/mind tijdsverspilling is.

Maar wel degelijk ook een aantal op- en aanmerkingen, omdat sommige dingen die gezegd worden zelfs komplete kul zijn. Overigens, gaat dit over de 1e druk, er is intussen een 3e druk verschenen welke ik niet gelezen heb, dus wellicht zijn er enkele dingen gewijzigd. Here goes:
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Moon Blog 53.1 Accumulation

It’s been a while since I last wrote a MoonBlog, as I was busy with leaving FaceBook but also with setting up a Human Design Forum. I was so busy and even absorbed with it, everything else was on hold for a while, and now I over exhausted myself 🙂

So the self made up deadline of starting testing the Forum Software at the Rave New Year will probably not be made. This basically is an announcement of postponement. And this is a relief for me, as I took too much workload on, and on my own mostly. The mind joyfully occupied with this giant jigsaw puzzle, and with all the knowledge and experience having an idea of what to look for in setting it all up, working on 3 intersecting levels at once; the subscribers side, the moderators/administrators side and the technical software side. And even now, lots of stuff runs through my mind to talk about, but not a lot comes out, it is all still percolating inside me, developing, processing, running its own course, at its own pace. And it will happen as it happens, and not before. But I was forcing it a bit.

With my capacity to focus and really dive into something, swimming around in it and completely losing myself, my identified self. It is time to slow down, and give both my mind and my body a few more breaks. So eager to fill the perceived and confirmed need. After all these years in all these different forums and newsgroups seeing what can be changed and how, and then wanting to implement it overnight, pfff. So yes, there is going to be a subscribers only Human Design Forum, but it might take several weeks or even a few more months before it will open. Aaaah what a relief to say it and to let it go 🙂
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MoonBlog 18.6 Buddhahood

We will never be completely free from the not-self, or from the mind that is trying to run our life, the mind that wants to know things.

But we can become watchers of the mind and our not-self behaving as if they run the life, which can take a bit of time.

We can learn to trust that there is another Authority at play, which is far less loud than that mind, but has far better ‘answers’.

And all we really have to do, is to allow that Inner Authority to speak up, and have it’s ‘voice’ heard and then, once we hear it, to follow through on what it says, and let go of any kind of control we think we have, and say yes to this, and no to that. Without any mental consideration: no morals, no social pressure. Pure and simple mechanics at play.

The awareness to watch is one thing, the mind immediately judging everything we see is quite another: this is good, this is bad, I do this wrong, s/he does that wrong, if only I did this, if only blablabla

Society is a construct, to homogenize, without intent, but a free person is a scary person. Even to ourselves 🙂 So we make up rules what behavior is correct and then we force these made up rules onto others, without even for one single second, wondering if they are correct, for myself, let alone someone else. We make stuff up to cover up our fears.

Not an joyful subject to contemplate and discuss 🙂 But here we are, to slowly, slowly, learn to let go of our minds ideals and distorted views, and experiment with the application of this Strategy of ours. While clearly looking at -all- our Centers conditioning, whether they are Open or Defined. Some say only the Open Centers get Conditioned, but as a Reflector I see many Defined Centers not operating at capacity either, as they are somewhat mangled, and limited, hidden. All this yummy power and agility, hidden and sometimes wilting away.

And not forgetting to play, to play hard even, to let it all go, and get horribly drunk, or love, and fight, to dance blisters on our feet, meditate in silence or in giggles, ride a motorbike real fast and get a ticket, to color and play, this life, with this life, in this life. To enjoy ourselves and buy something silly, or give someone a good prank , a scare, a tease…
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MoonBlog 52.5 Explanation

Reflectors sometime get a bad rap for being unreliable, because there are times, when you work or study or even live together with a Reflector that they get up and leave, or even vanish all together. This gets interpreted as being ungrateful, and untrustworthy, when in fact, understanding how finely tuned and sensitive the Reflector is, you get to see, it is no longer correct for that one Reflector , to continue. And in online communities, feeling free to disconnect from any conversation, or group, and person if and when correct for the Reflector, and even block someone if they really feel the need to distance themselves from certain kinds of energy & interactions, without ever explaining themselves.

And most of it happens unconsciously for the Reflector, they themselves can be unaware of the so called reason, the trigger for them to get up and go, and leave you be, and do whatever you do. But do not misinterpret this for being wavery, and loose canons, and become angry with all that you ‘invested’ in one of them, as u hailed one in to be an active support for your project or endeavor. Remember it also being your project, and not theirs, so as long as it is correct for this, or that Reflector they will stay, but when it does not anymore, sooner or later, they will go.

There is nothing wrong with you, or your project per se, the interpretation all too quickly goes to self-doubt too, because if there is no fault or blame with the Reflector, there has to be something or someone else to blame. But no, just check in with yourself, with your very own correctness, through your own Strategy & Authority whether to proceed or not. No blame, no resentment, no fault, it is not personal, remember it being mechanical. And maybe attract another Reflector to exchange with, something we are not used to do, to continue if and when correct with an-other unique individual Reflector all over, as we fall into resentment and guilt tripping and other mind-fucks, for them not being how we made them up to be.

And they, might have actually sensed you being a resentful person, not the best environment for any open G. The beauty of hindsight teaching us how correct the connection really was. We are still so new at this living our design, at entering any form of interconnection, be it a relationship or a partnership, a project or some other form. To enter in correctly and also, to exit correctly. It takes time and practice, allowing ourselves and the other to make some really interesting, silly or even weird mistakes, as we are all still absolute beginners at this.

And some times, the Reflector comes back, comes to check out the environment again, to sample and nibble to see if things are different now, or not.

MoonBlog 5.1 Perseverance

De Vloek moet dicht

een open brief aan wie dit lezen wil. Sommigen zullen het ermee eens zijn, en sommigen duidelijk niet. En anderen op sommige punten wel, en op andere punten weer niet. En dat is wel wat er mist in de meeste debatten, of onderwerpen die in Nederland en daarbuiten soms voorbijkomen: er is helemaal geen debat, er is stellingsname en opwerpen van ‘oneens-baricaden’ en dat is het dan.

Lekker afgescheiden in idealen en mores aan deze of een andere kant, en een enkeling die daartussen schippert. Er is helemaal geen delen van punten en waarden, het is een illusie dat er wordt gedebateerd, want de meesten van ons, welke zijde dan ook, staan helemaal niet open om die ander te horen, of om vanuit diens perspectief dingen te zien. Soms kun je je afvragen of dat sociaal aangeleerd is, of is het een psychische afwijking, of is het mogelijk iets anders?

Er wordt gesteld dat “steeds meer vrijplaatsen en autonome ruimtes worden ontruimd en bedreigd” en ook “Keer op keer moeten vrijplaatsen en autonome ruimtes wijken voor yuppenprojecten” Nu kun je je afvragen hoe werkelijk ‘autonoom’ die ruimtes zijn als er gewoon ook entree wordt betaald, zelfs als dat met Lets is. Maar iets wat haast onopmerkelijk is, en toch blijft na-etteren is de openlijke discriminatie naar bijvoorbeeld yuppen toe. Even buiten de vraag of die groep als zodanig wel bestaat nog in deze tijd. En ook, of de voornamelijk roomblanke jongens en meisjes in die autonome vrijplaatsen dat niet zelf -ook- zijn. Ik begrijp niet, hoe die zogenaamd hoogste idealen gut-mensch het in het warhoofd haalt, om mee te doen aan het uitspelen van groepen en groeperingen.
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MoonBlog 32.2 restraint

To live our design, is to live in a continuous state of surprise of what is correct for us, of what turns out to be correct for us. It will surprise us, because our mind has no concept of understanding how it operates, and it does not need to have this concept either. It is a functioning, a processing, it simply operates. Living our Design means to go out into the world, without attachment to anything other than the revelation, the consequence, the surprise of our Inner Authority. Of what shows up and how.

Not living our Design means to attach to real or imagined concepts, as a safety net or rope to guide us along something we find deeply frightful. But unfortunately, the concepts are not helping, they are just a construct, they are not real, not in terms of supporting us in any way. Not in the long run, and not nearly by far as true as the result of applying our Strategy, it can’t be.
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MoonBlog 7.6 The administrator

in Human Design (and on FaceBook), the question comes up about discipline, and also what that means for Reflector, what does that look like, Dharmen talks shortly about discipline in his (free) preview here: Rave New Year Forecast 2014. Besides what the word ‘means’ [In its natural sense, discipline is systematic instruction intended to train a person, sometimes literally called a disciple, in a craft, trade or other activity, or to follow a particular code of conduct or “order”, source: Wikipedia]

And for me, with a 3 parts left variable, active brain, strategic mind and focused view, it means a great amount of effort, but in such small quantities and in such a continuous stream, that then becomes almost effortless doing. I compare it to either getting addicted to any drug, or kicking that same kind of addiction. Lots and lots (and then some more) of little amounts of a substance, or an act.

While also keeping that bit of tension on it, nearly always, never letting go of what you do and perhaps why, but without it being a mental concern (it is not after all) it is something your inner spirit craves for, or seeks to stop being with.

As Jed McKenna says: “I can’t not do this. Wouldn’t recommend it though.”
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MoonBlog 62.2

One of the things that came up in the year long Transformations set of courses about the 4 Variables and Digestion, Environment, Perspective and Motivation, is of-course some of our habits. And one being sleep, or waking habits. When to go to sleep, how long, or late, to stay awake.

And it is easy to say, that this is our conditioning, ours, of how we live to work from 9 to 5, how our days are scheduled along those hours to make room for when to eat breakfast and when to eat lunch, dinner, when to watch tv, and go to bed again, how long to sleep, and so on.

Everything neatly fixed within certain time frames, every single day, and make a fuss when things are not happening along those lines, those times.

But what is so interesting in my exploration of my own observations, is that we like to call it, our conditioning. As if some outside force is to blame, it makes it easy to use this language, so we can identify an outside source for our behaviour, or for our perceptions of other peoples behaviour.
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