4/6 Reflector PLL-DLR

28.2

Moon Blog 28.2

self-doubt and worries, as the mind is let loose to be triggered by what other people write, as they call themselves analysts, professionals, and offering not just sessions but even whole courses while not even knowing simple basics. Mind kicks me back saying to want to throw in the towel, as it ponders and reflects, is this truly for me to do anyways?

All those arrogant people out there claiming this and that even if they themselves were tricked by the Parkyns and the Currys to follow and believe this facade they bought themselves into, as they get triggered by their easiest weaknesses, usually money and a shallow self-image. Lured with tricks and lies, but slowly populating groups and fora, open house sessions asking the right questions as a result of that missing information they had not received themselves, being conned and tricked into believing they matter and what they do does. By now, there must be more fake and conned session givers out there, than real ones, as the machines keep pumping out more half-witted wannabees
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Moon Blog 28.2

HappinezGuidoSjef

Last Wednesday I gave an Introduction to Human Design for a small group of people, and yesterday I assisted an Analist at a ‘mindstyle’ magazine Festival with about 20 mini/intro-readings each.

And each time in the beginning of me speaking, there is a tension, a nervousness and even plain fear/scare and within the first 2 minutes I stumble, on my words, or even blank out. So different to work with a group then just one person. I notice I want to connect and interact with the other, and I go deep to experience the other, so I can relate, so I can reflect them, so I use their behavior/experience to interact with. Which is impossible in a group it seems, for me.

So then I shield-up, or bubble-up and while still being able to see them, and interact with them, I don’t need the other anymore to do that, I stop feeling into them as a basis for my own behavior, I stop identifying myself with the experience I have of them, and I restart, I start to talk again, and all of a sudden it just flows from me. I found it really helps to voice that I am nervous with them, for them, that I need a moment to find my bearing. And once I do find it, in detachment, then my communicative abilities come out, and I can see them from my bubble and play with that, interact, make a joke or a comment about what I see/perceive, ask a question, but only after I have disconnected my experience from theirs.
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