MoonBlog

Right is Might

So one of the things I’m noticing, especially in my more personal/intimate relationships, is how the other will consistently weigh and measure you with self made-up measuring sticks, including HD, as a means to badger you with ego proving gibberish.

Weaponizing HD, but mainly psycho-analysing you through HD, without the credit HD also gives the Types, only the negatives are seen/measured and then thrown at you, for good ‘measure’.

Sure we can talk about my autism, that “he always sits at his computer”. It is not untrue.
But what are -you- offering instead, great conversations?

And even if so, then one needs breaks from those too, per my Type. Perfectly fine per my Type, per my correct behaviour, per what is correct -for me-. And, your pussy is not that good.

This constant needing to prove ones self, instead of just being human and porkin out, breathing, acclimatising, vibrating, ondulating, contemplate, let it simmer, marinating, or maybe even fucking oblivion. While they’re demanding super human behaviour, or even super human design behaviour, you -have to be- perfect, or else.

And what was then the attraction, you may ask? Energetic, frequency, something to connect with. You connect or even bond energetically, there is a connection.

However, initial connections are never truthful, everyone is always hiding, hiding something, some things. And then slowly slowly they open their mind to you, and that is when the poop starts to pour out, the horse shit, the hurt, the anger, the anguish, the self pity and the external blame(s).

Suggestion: read their blogs first, read their online interaction and skirmishes, first. See if you like -that- person. Cause so many people, are simply very hurt, very broken. Some internalize this and seek some form of comfort or healing, and some only externalize and bite your head off, first chance they get, first thing you ‘say wrong’.

This is my ‘mistake’, cause you jump to the energetic connect, but you’re going to interact with that broken ego/mind too. You will definitely meet it.

Pretending it is part of the experiment, this constant measuring with HD or anything else, this consistent moralistic badgering, pretending to be in the experiment, or being a good (whatever the fuck your Type is)

This constant need to prove behaviour, or be psychologically dissected on anything/everything the whole mf-ing time.

Whichever lens they use, but always as a weapon, never as a means to explore for instance.
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I guess

I’m fed up with all the psychological issues of people, not with HD, but how people need psychological and often emotional assistance (and a cuddle or fuck), but then go to/through all these modalities, so called self help journey into some form of psychology spirituality, when they actually, or also need psychological assistance. Like I need it now, after trying to help and support myself and so so very many people for 15 whole years (last friday) through HD.

I’m pooped, I’m wasted, I don’t have the stamina anymore, or at least this is how I perceive it 😉

The horrific stories I have heard and listened to, trying to support people with, pfffrf, I can’t take it anymore. Many of you/me/we/us are fucking crazy!

MoonBlog 56.1
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I did a thing today

I deleted my Reflector Sessions webpage and blog access, Reflector Sessions Facebook page and its linked Baffo Instagram page

I no longer wish to be that ‘advertorial’ or using these as identifiers, of me, of what it is to be me.
It just does not matter (anymore) in this format or way.

I might rejuvenate the website with my MoonBlogs and the 2 Reflector pages, but as Sjef, not as some identity called ‘Reflector Sessions’.

MoonBlog 51.5

[edit] from 3422 to 0, back to 267 873 posts on blog now

an appearance, an identity, it weighed on me to keep it up or maintaining it as such. People are looking for (a) structured support, and I was providing that in this way. Seeking things to be businesses, schools, ‘professionals’, with registrations and certifications, tax deductible formats and whatever else.

But I’m just me, and that’s fine/enough.

If I do this now…

to observe the mind, through my undefined Root center with no activations.

If I do this now, then it is done, I don’t have to focus or worry about it anymore.

Mind, is doing all of that, both, the worrying and the not worrying, the false pretense in both situations.

Why does it worry so much about stuff anyways, whether done or not done. As it needs, seeks to park stuff, done → ok
not done → worry, or at least throw it in front of the minds/eye often enough.

Sure I don’t mind completing things/tasks, but this ego/mind seeks to do so only so it can let go of it, as it holds on to outcomes and progression, tallying, measuring, comparing. Control issues much?

MoonBlog 22.5
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Personal Health Syndrome (PHS)

In HD conversations, there seems to be this notion of, when you live your design, and when you apply your PHS then you will be healthiest.

But there are nuances, as always, just not in the conversations.

Recently my doctor emailed she’s going with her pension, and I’ve been with her since the beginning, 33 years ago. And before my Saturn return I’ve seen her maybe 5-6 times in about 11 years, of which I was abroad for 3 years. Since on the roof, about 5-6 times also in a period of 20 years, and since my kiron Return just 4 years ago, already a dozen times.

Something has definitely changed

And in my PHS reading, I was told and then reminded multiple times: ‘the mutation is not always successful” & “this roof phase is the healthiest for you, it will change”

So, yeah.

(MoonBlog 38.2)
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Who is driving?

In HD we know the terminology of the Magnetic Monopole being the driver
and for me, especially after having done the 4 Transformations year training, I can see the concept of Driver, Vehicle and Passenger so much better.

But also, to see, who else is driving, all these variants of my mind. Wearing different hats.

When sex is driving
when money is driving
or the drive for money is, driving.

When need for recognition
for compliments
for acknowledgment
for likes
for pleasure
for good food
feel good
to feel better, is driving

with their little hats (… whatever 😉 ), and driving gloves, all purrdy and neatly dressed, up.
For driving.

The ego/mind, driving, for ego, for ego/mind. As an expression of itself, driving. Not the magnetic monopole driving, no. The ego/mind, almost like someone with Alzheimers’, doing something they did in the past, and ending up in the weirdest places, only to be brought home, by the cops.

It is such a show, such a drama, dramatic expression. Of ego/mind all dressed up, for driving, and then actually drive, completely out of place, yet driving as if it was correct. ‘Fake it till you make it’.

Oh and that it does 😀
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Projected Attitude: Abdicator

(from ‘Profile and Type Reference’)

I enjoy being an Abdicator (Profiling Gate of the 4th Line), so very often in my life I’ve been ‘promised the world’ by criminals, by teachers, by lovers. And oh so many times, I just said no. It was not for me, and I walked away or moved on. And then looking back on those situations, what if, I had said yes? And I chuckle, cause I’m so glad I simply did not 🙂

Criminals, proposing working together and ‘do stuff with diamonds and passports’ and ‘I’ll come live with you’ and I just go… neeeeh. Shacking my head 🙂

In the GeneKeys, where the American LLC, who tried to take over the show after RR had sex with one of them, where grooming me to become a ‘certified Guide’, and I just laughed and told them, you ain’t got that capacity to do so, there is nothing there in your offer, it is hollow, and left/moved on.

My Advaita Vedanta teacher, saying, “you’re so close to realization, and then you can teach others”. She was grooming me, to be a non duality teacher, to become ‘one of them’. And when I look at Adyashanti teaching this stuff, talking about things, I realize, I would never want to sit in a chair and talk about life before, talk about the horrors of the mind and how to look at it differently so you can wake up. Not in a non duality way anyways. I mean, doesn’t he have hobbies? Is this the end result of ‘enlightenment’…? Neeeeh 🙂

A lover who wanted to work together teaching HD, using the 64 material ways to do… yeah what exactly I wasn’t sure, I had never read or listened to the material, and when I tried, I was seriously put off by it. And the pussy wasn’t that good either (no offense, but I mean, the relationship was not of equals) but, these promises just don’t work on me, unless, it is correct -for me-. There is no way to seduce me unless it IS seducing, to ME 🙂

The new Reflector organization that is being ‘made’, to be asked to be part of the tip of the spear is nice and all, but I just don’t have the energy, or desire, the drive, the be part of that tip. Once it runs, sure I may show up and be part of its structure, and be of service to the other, maybe.

I’m so happy that I walked away and moved on, and just do whatever the fuck I want, through my PHS Tone, my individual creativity. And use S&A when others are involved, but they so rarely are, it’s just me and my Tone.

I have no need for the groomers, I have no need to even use S&A on them, I abdicate. And that makes me smile, when I look at the mud they seem to be plunged into. Sticky mud, using so much energy to maintain the ‘thing’, and I could see, it was just not for me.

MoonBlog 36.5 The underground.

Gate 36 of crisis. The darkening of the light.
The rule of cycles in which decline is a natural but not enduring stage.

Gate 36 Line 5 The underground
Exalted: Perfected survival regardless of conditions. Immunity to crisis as both generator and survivor.
Detriment: A nervousness that can lead to self-betrayal. Self-betraying nervousness in times of crisis.

actually, the reflector is great –

On the interwebs I read:

(txt file copy here: 20230207.txt)

So I would have preferred to have this on a vlog, but will type instead.

This has taken months of looking at things from angles, literally. From determination, to cognition, environment, motivation, to view. From looking at things about the other, to seeing things that I had learned about myself through things I had seen through other people around. Through Ra audio, through things about Projector’s, invitations, being asked, through seeing the transits without looking them up through other people during the time I had visited in the Netherlands.

We can look at things for 20 years and still be wrong, I see people do this often, as if the length or depth of looking has any bearing on the results of the looking, or it qualifies as more better or something.

And from really looking at my thoughts, and also, what the body was like in the Netherlands, what Sjef was like, what the Reflector was like – how i felt there, and how things looked from the outside, when no longer being in the Netherlands. What i actually looked like, when no longer focused on the other.

We can only look at ourselves, and how -we perceive- the other, but we can never say how someone else ‘was like’. Cause we are not them, we can only interpret, so it is always far more nuanced.

What actually happened is my design received an invitation to a place in which i actually couldn’t experience any time in my own aura. I was told when going to the Netherlands, there would be two rooms. And there were/are two rooms in that apartment. But the apartment is so small, that there is no place in that apartment really, where people can be outside of the aura of another. The apartment is literally for one human.

Is that what ‘actually happened’? Or did you interpret it as such…?

Now, I can’t say for sure that Sjef actually knew that. Because Sjef explained how he actually had a girlfriend live in that apartment with him in the past.

twice

Here’s the thing, physical things like walls, aren’t capable of separating auras. Auras are roughly 5 feet all around the physical body, outward – in every direction.

I’d say it’s rather 10 feet or about 3 meters, ‘2 arms lengths on either side’ makes for double, easy. And of course (!) varying upon the person, the day, the mood, or whatever else aura size may influence (no one really knows), a quote:
In other words, the aura breathes. And it’s very important not to see it as something that is static. It’s not like you’re moving in a fixed shell, like you’re inside an egg or something. You really have to understand that this is something that is breathing. More than that, that breathing fluctuation can go from being quite large-so for example, if you stand up and you place your arms up in the air away from you, spreading your arms as far as they can so you’ve got your full wingspan, if you double the length of that distance, twice an arm length on either side going all the way around you in every direction, that’s approximately the maximum potential.” – Ra Uru Hu
from http://humandesignsystem.blogspot.com/2005/07/auras.html

But I have shared my apartment plan, either like this

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MoonBlog 11.6 adaptability

Koen Hillewaert : “an open head, open ajna has second hand thoughts and inspiration… not first hand… so the thoughts we have, the inspiration we have is not ours, it came from somebody else. Just like an undefined solar plexus gets and multiplies the emotions from the other…”

[reflection:]preposterous

Just because we don’t have -consistent access to- the Solar Plexus, does not mean we do not have emotions of our own, ever, at all.

Or thoughts.

This is one of those things that get said in HD that really go too far, are being taken literal, for having been an analogy.

If and when being in aura with someone else, there is the -potential- to take in and amplify theirs, but it is not singularly true, all the time. You can sit with them, they get emotionally triggered, and you not. The Natural and Healthy State of the Undefined Solar Plexus is: emotionally quiet. And this can happen perfectly fine in aura with others.

Never your own thoughts, what a lot of bullcrap is that man. I live and spend so much time alone that I can tell when it is yours or mine. And much of the bullshit I think, is truly mine… well ok, it’s my minds.

Such a notion pretends there is no true self behaviour in undefined centers.
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“Is there anyone here who has experienced, and made it through apathy and prolonged depression during their HD experiment?”

when I smoked pot & hash every day, when I took LSD for the better part of a year, when I was a severe alcoholic, when I was homeless, when I was in prison, when I came out of prison, when I was single. When my mind was running the shitshow.

But never so much anymore since/during my HD experiment. But my life has been radically changed (well one could call it that, I kinda like it, so the comparison is just words) cause I occupy my left/active brain as much as possible with things that I enjoy.

Tinkering my ass off, with guitars, guitar effect pedals, amplifiers, modding them, tweaking and nerding. Since almost 2 years I got a 3d printer now THAT can keep you occupied !! 😀
and am looking forward to tinker with a cnc milling machine next, besides the motorbike(s) tinkering I always did.

“Sjef, why does your living room look like a barn?” she asked.
Because I can !

And, I only watch what I download myself, ie movies/tv-shows. And when I travel I take a vaccin if required. I no longer occupy my mind with the world, and it’s supposed issues, but mine only. I have become much more myopic, not even on purpose per se, not even as a mental strategy, but I do know it works for me.

Am I chasing only happy states? No, in the least, my daily life is not easy, but I know what I want to do with it, now, with the opportunities I now have. If I win the lottery those may change, but for now, I’m pretty damn good.

And then a few days of relapse, deep darkness, sadness. Mind projecting me all these things again. Ah well, time for another nap, or perhaps to level the bed once more (technical 3d printing term) 😉

Make/have dinner, clean the house/barn, pffrt (blowing raspberry)

you know, I consider my life, and how it’s run, as a job. And I love my job, and I love me. So I try to do a good job. And work on it every single day. What is correct for me, what can I or can I not do/have/be today, enjoyable long term strategies planned, but adjusted as need be. Me, my life, one job. Every day.

Some times it is nap day, sometimes it is not ?
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‘Cause we need a little, controversy

to all moralists, liars and other 5 centered idiots, Sjef says: “of the 12 women into HD that had sex with me, averaging not even one HD sex partner per year of being into HD

about 4 have I taught any HD before the sex, with well over 200 that is averaging less than 1 in 50

the other 8 I either never taught or it was after the sex.”

If you read some of my writings and sharing and happen to experience a drive to –not– connect, great. If you do experience a drive to connect, great, you are hereby invited, asked, informed and initiated to do so through the contact page.
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“are you interested in a romantic relationship with me?”

Im starting to get his sense that it (…) does not hinge on information or correctness, but all about emotional (im)maturity, some are born with/out and the rest is consequence, unless they grow some/more, as the only real growth path out there worth anything.

MoonBlog 53.2
Gate 53 of beginnings. Development.
Development as a structured progression that is both steadfast and enduring
Gate 53 Line 2 (exalted) momentum. Success breeds success
Exalted: The protection of early success nurtures further achievement. The pressure to start something new based on past success.
Detriment: A tendency with early success to haste and imprudent action. The pressure based on success to be impatient for something new.
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“I need to be using that”

03:46 “When I look at the FaceBook scene, for example, and there is so much information being passed around, and my mind gets right into it, and I like to debate information and I like to see different angles of it and I usually see weird things that people don’t and I could be wrong and whatever, but… But none of that interaction on facebook around the content like that, has anything to do with me being a manifestor and in fact, it is probably distracting me, like moment by moment, from being a splenic manifestor cause I’m up in my thinking head instead of in my body.”

When you own a bicycle, and watch tv, you do not all of a sudden, not own a bicycle, because you are watching tv.
Unless the bike was stolen in between, but not because you were watching tv, but because someone stole it.
Other than that, you still own a bicycle.

Interacting on FaceBook in HD groups, or in messaging etc, has -nothing- to do with decision making per your Inner Authority. Anyways, being in your thinking head, when it comes to working with information is perfectly normal, and it’s even legal too. There is no law against it. Against using mind, against being in your thinking head. It is irrelevant, to being whichever type, or whichever Strategy & Authority you may have.

It is pretending however, there is a better way, of doing things, ego/mind, undefined ego/heart center proving ones self to be right, or even correct, when that can not be the case ever since it was irrelevant to begin with.
The mistake is causality and strawman arguments; ‘One is not allowed to be in their thinking head, one should always be in the body’.

When in fact, mind = a wonderful Outer Authority, it is not dis-allowed to think. Or process information, or exchange information.

Only when making decisions with that same mind, as Inner Authority, does it become a not-self act, or action.

But watching tv, or interacting on FaceBook, does not change if you are a boy or a girl, if you need to pay taxes or are owed taxes, being a splenic manifestor, none of that.

You are still in the same body, you may not be consistently conscious of it, but who/what is conscious of it anyways but that same mind that is now thinking and processing information, while you being perfectly fine in the body also? You did not change body, or Type, you are simply not using S&A and there is no reason (‘need’ to) to do so either. You’re off the hook. You are on a S&A break: processing info, thoughts, viewpoints, shooting the shit.

The outer circumstances, and you being in them, participating, does not cause anything to be wrong, just by being there and doing this or that, by being able to discern, yes, my mind is distracted right now… well actually, distracted from what, is there an agenda all of a sudden, a goal, a fixedness of dos and don’ts of behaviour, of what is deemed correct according to some made up moral standards? Are we inflicting guilt on ourselves for watching tv, pretending this makes us lose bicycles?

Nice example of a mental belief structure at work, of using mind to make decisions with and not ‘be in the body’ while pretending to avoid exactly that in the first place 😀

MoonBlog 52.3

“Why?”

I don’t know ‘why’

I am not interested in my mind knowing, why
or seeking to verbalize it, mentally, even wording it, to explain it, either.

All I know is, I am doing it, and that, is why.

And having great fun doing so

I can explain, in hindsight, how I got here, but not, why.

MoonBlog 52.2

MoonBlog 51.2 withdrawal

Weirdos in the mail

weirdo: Calling all #Reflectors (according to Human Design)!!! ?
Are you a reflector and feeling all the feels? Could you use some relaxation and a deep energetic reset in a loving environment where people just get you?
Join me this Sunday, online, at 10am PST for an hour of group-supprted Reiki healing for your highest good. ✨
It’s going to be magical! ??
Leave any questions you have below!

Hi There! How are you doing today? I’m reaching out to let you know that I’m hosting a Reiki for Reflectors group call again this Sunday at 10am PST. Would love for you to join us!! Would you also be down to post to your page or story to get the word out to all the Reflectors in the world who could use this? Thank you so much!! ???

me: Hi, only see your message now (y)
No, not down to doing that.

MoonBlog 19.3 dedication

I only have to find my own correctness in it, yours or anyone else’s has nothing to do with my S&A.

My correctness, is not a stance, nor is it something I take, and therefor not need to defend nor explain.

Besides correctness not being logical, anyone pretending that my correctness is their business, is mistaken.

This goes for any and every topic.


MoonBlog 19.3 dedication
Gate 19 of wanting, approach. That all things are interrelated is apparent and manifested through the action of approach.
Gate 19 Line 3 dedication. Receptivity to approach can only be maintained through vigilance.
Exalted: The natural ease with which communion is maintained. Sensitivity and ease fueled by acceptance by others.
Detriment: A tendency to moodiness that may lead to carelessness. The need to be wanted hampered by oversensitivity.

How to De-condition? (Effectively)

By actually going there. So not only think about Human Design and your chart and all its details (while also important), not just contemplate the information and its implications (while also important), not just study Human Design (which for some is quite important), but by actually going there, by trying to live it, by making mistakes, by experimenting and experiencing, by comparing your experiences with the theory and other peoples stories. By learning to not only understand but having the experience, of which energy is yours and which is not yours through Transit Cycle tracking and journaling. Deconditioning is something we do.

And if you need support in doing so, find that support.

The how question is one of mind, but mind can not solve it, not ahead of experiencing at least. It is not within the capacities of mind to ever solve it. We factually need to go and experience it, ourselves. We can talk about what it was like doing so, with others, but hearing what it was like, for others, does not decondition -you-.

You simply have to experience it yourself.
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MoonBlog 14.4 security

The Transit chart shows the chart of today, so ‘Personality’ side

But nothing gets imprinted, cause this only happens twice in life, 88 Solar degrees before being born (which then becomes the Design imprint) and then at birth (the Personality side). Everything else, is not you, is the weather, an external influence.

So the Transit chart of now, does not even have a Type, since Type only emerges out of the Juxtaposition of Design and Personality together, of 2 imprints of Crystals only. Type is form functioning. It can not be separated.

Then the quote, linked from my blog (https://www.mcha.nl/2020/12/13/moonblog-34-5-annihilation-2/). As I write it there also, but I’ve heard it is not that clear, so I reword it here:

The Transit chart looks very open, yes, but it does not mean, that everyone will experience these Transits, or not experience them (!). Not Reflectors, not other Types either.

I do not have Gate 30 activated/imprinted in my chart, nor the Gate at the other side of the channel, Gate 41. but when the Transit is in Gate 30, and this could be the Moon, or the Sun, or Jupiter. I can experience deep emotional overwhelm. And, this is a pattern, it happens often when something is in Gate 30.

Even when the Transit chart shows ‘no definition’, and I don’t have neither Gate 30 nor 41, and exactly this, this noticing, this observation from experience, is half the story of the Lunar Cycle.

There is no homogenized effect on anyone else (or at least, not forced/fixed) to experience cosmic baths, openness or the opposite, when Transits happen. It can only be, your own unique experience, which by journalling you will find out, how -you- sample life, differently, than I do, or any other Reflector does.

That really also is the power of Human Design, to become your own observer and finding your own truth, without having to listen or believe anyone else. Experientially. To become, your own Authority.

Enjoy 🙂

MoonBlog 14.4 security
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“You have the design of a reflector, and the personality of a reflector.”

or

“[whomever] is a 6/2 Splenic Projector and non-specific manifestor in Human Design.”

Both are simply false, easy to tell too; just count your aura(s)

Type (ie Reflector) is form, is aura functioning, there are no Types in either side of the chart. One can say: I’m undefined in my Design and undefined in my Personality, or I have only Projector Type Channels/Definition, but one is never another Type in any one of them, it is the Juxtaposition of both, that makes Type and Aura. Only in the quantum of both is Type revealed.

So yes openness, but the Definition is there always, we can not separate the Design and Personality like this, they are locked together, even me as a Reflector don’t have those 2 Types on either side

You only have one aura.

 

P.S. do you -have- a design or personality, some false identification there?
And if you -have- it, where do you keep it, store it, does it eat anything, where does it sleep?, etc 😉

 

MoonBlog 22.3

Gate 22 of openness, grace. A quality of behaviour best suited in handling mundane and trivial situations.

Gate 22 line 3 the enchanter. Perfected grace.
Exalted: Form as a definition and actualization of substance. The possibility for perfected openness through the alignment of emotional energy and awareness.
Detriment: Unconscious grace. An innate openness.
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MoonBlog 63.5 affirmation

Weirdos in the mail

weirdo: “Removing my ability to comment or discuss my take on being a reflector highlighted to me the health of your group so I’ve kindly left. I wish you all healing xxx”

me: “I have done no such thing
I’m not the admin/mod there

but the about rules of that group are quite clear
there are no takes, only experiences. The rest is just mind fodder”

weirdo: “Mine was all experience x”

me: “Wishing healing is pretending something is wrong with those other people, making you a moralistic fascist
mirror mirror on the wall”
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MoonBlog 63.3 continuance

A new experiment (and I hate it already) 🙂

Most people know I live a ‘one thing lead to another’ kinda life. Soup of the day for the Reflector, restaurant analogy, yes? And some things that happen this way are absolutely amazing (positive) and some things are absolutely amazing (negative) 😉

Now my PHS is Color 2 (Taste) and Tone 1 (Smell) making my Taste Open, those are splenic binaries. Through my PHS I have access to a discerning spleen. I’m a natural nose breather and closing my sampling is mouth breathing. And I have Gate 20, twice, one of them my Design Moon, and I call my not-self an emotional manifesting reflector, so there is a lot of immediacy (and a few other Gates allowing me to jump into hyperspace and the opening of the heavens) and all that and more.

I do a lot of tinkering, nerding, melancholic muse driven mind puzzles with musical instruments gear (guitar pedal sequence setup and wiring, amp combinations, tube rolling) and motorbike tweaking (gear ratios, air filters, carb and exhaust tweaking) and recently also some more electronics as in guitar pedal making and now a vacuum tube tester, and so on.

So a lot is bought and sold all the time, all, the, time. Including lots of tools and machinery to do all those things. Which I enjoy a lot. A lot of research goes into it, and I do quite well in finding just the right thing, over time, reading all the reviews and having gained more knowledge and hands on experience of some of the procedures and techniques over the years.

Right now I’m diving into model making, gluing shaped pieces of plastic together and then painting them. Brushing these paints on, looks hideous. So I need an airbrush set-up… (and learn how to use it)

The new experiment is, wait, comma, pause, one lunar cycle before buying anything, -anything-. Everything.

Oh boy….
I already don’t like this… 😉
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Moonblog 49.6 attraction

reflector sampling, or… not-self? 😉

I once bought a Digital Multi Meter. Hadn’t had one in a while and building guitar pedals, working on motorbikes and what not, they come in handy. So I buy a new one from a so-so brand for about 40 bucks I think. Conrad’s own Voltcraft VC175.

At one point it stops working, all I get are four dashes – – – – and not 0.035volts for instance.

So I try to find another one to replace it, second hand this time, and preferably a brand. I find one that looks a bit crummy but is super easy to use and has all the functions that I think I need and it’s a Fluke, 113 model. Stil twice the price of the other one new, but hey, its a Fluke.

Once home I clean the outside up a little with water and soap and use it, and it’s great. Until I need to do some tests and I get weird results. I even end up sending the pcb elsewhere for testing and finding out what is wrong. Turns out, all the tests run fine, my meter is off ! So seemingly fully functioning, but wrong values.

So I decide to scour the interwebs for advice for another one. Cause I’m not that enthusiastic about getting a ‘better’ 200 bucks Fluke this time, even if I love my gadgets and I like well known stuff, but let’s see what the experts have to say. There I find there are kinda 2 camps, the cheapos and the semi-professionals. The cheapos advice the Aneng AN8008 or AN8009 for about 20 bucks, new, incl shipping from China and the semi-professionals advice the Brymen BM235 which costs about 95 bucks brand new, excl shipping.

I realize one meter is no meter, you need to be able to check yours if anything is off. So I decide to buy them both, it’s only 20 bucks extra and the cheaper one is quite liked too, so why not? I see a funny GM328A meter gadget for 3 pin diodes and whatnot for 15 bucks and get that one too.

Realising also, that my electronic work and interest is growing and that maybe it is time for an oscilloscope too. Go into the deep end of measuring and the semi-professionals kinda agree on the Rigol DS1054Z as a great beginners scope, so that one is in the back of my mind/on the wannahave list. Meanwhile I also read up on calibrating Digital Multi Meters and find the ‘DMM Check Plus‘ which comes with a proper calibration report so you can always verify your meters and their measured results, or compare to each other how precise they are, mmm yum, I like that even better ! 🙂

Slowly slowly the meters arrive, and while I’m making a post about the different meters, I see a picture of the inside of the Voltcraft VC175

And I notice 2 fuses… so I open it up and with the new Brymen BM235 I check the fuses, and the 10A 5600V one is working, but the 0.5A 600V is broken. Would it.. could it be?

I order a few spare fuses and once they arrive I replace the broken one and voilà ! No more dashes and reading normal values….

So now having 4 Digital Multi Meters, of which 3 are working fine (fluke is still flakey), one gadgety one, an oscilloscope and a calibrated meter checker/tester, when all I needed was to replace one fuse? Was it?

Happy sampling ! 🙂
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MoonBlog 34.5 annihilation

“The (un)bearable lightness of being…”

“2 days of no transit definition. All 9 centres white. A rare opportunity for Reflectors to savour the complete absence of any kind of pressure from without and within. Difficult to find the right words to express the delight I am experiencing in this limitless space and time, the weightlessness of the body moving around as if floating. No definition, no structure, no mind interfering in this experience of “the (un)bearable lightness of just being there – in wonder…”

Reflectors around the globe – watch out for those days and find a way to be by yourself in those rare moments… you might be up for a surprise!”

and: “It happened again today… yes – it’s difficult to describe in words Isabel Moreira. I imagine that’s why some people use drugs to have that kind of experience. Maybe later on something pops up to share more with my Reflector kin… For now I am just savouring this cosmic bath… in silence… ?” – Nisarg B. Nikiel

What is this notion of a cosmic bath? Right now the Moon is in Gate 34 forming a temporary conditioned definition with my Gate 20. Besides we’re not here to live the Transits themselves, and even then, our individual experience will always be different, regardless of what the resulting chart looks like. The chart is not the life (!)

The other day (August 21st 2020), Earth was in Gate 30 line 5, which I do not have in my chart, nor do I have Gate 41, but I’ve never seriously felt more depressed and suicidal than ever before, when for instance I was in much more dire situations/outer circumstances. No I was just sitting there on my bed, watching tv, a comedy even, and I became deeply depressed and suicidal. This Gate 30 has always been a huge trigger for me. Nothing cosmic or bath-like for me, unless it was to drown myself in, to die.

There are no fairy tales in Human Design and certainly no homogenization, so when there are no channels formed by the Transits, it does not have to mean anything at all, and most certainly not for all Reflectors, no made up surprises, nothing the same for anyone/everyone else. Even when ‘no definition’ shows up. Nothing is fixed, not positive not negative.

Weirdo in the mail about this post here: SunBlog 11.5 the philanthropist (in Detriment) Read more

MoonBlog 51.1 reference

When I started to live on my own, as a young kid still, I would have a coffee and a few cigarettes in the morning, and just fiddle around (pre internet dayz). Then only around lunch time I would eat something, and then dinner again, later on in the evening a cookie perhaps. And did so for many, many years.

In 2009 I stopped smoking and in 2011 I got conditioned to eat breakfast, (at the International Osho Resort) and have eaten breakfast ever since. And have become more overweight ever since. No blame to the resort though.

Understanding what an emotional eater I am, how easily most anything/everything is an emotional trigger, for good, for bad, for happy, for sad, I like eating. And with my PHS of Open Taste and Smell, and undefined Solar Plexus, I eat 🙂

I have esophagus issues, since about 2 years, probably a rupture somewhere at the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), cause of overweight, the only remedy; lose weight.
I went to see a dietitian and she did help me see some interesting things about my food intake, and so some things were changed radically, other things actually increased, like my breakfast intake and to double-up on lunch, since I was underfeeding myself in the morning and at lunch and therefor over eating on way too fatty foods during dinner, besides the whole taste/smell thing. But I kept eating, eating to much, too often.

Maybe not according to any schedule, or system, but according to my body.

So 2 weeks ago I got more esophagus pain, like it was contracting a muscle, or like a leg cramp, but then in your chest, very painful. I checked my weight, and I was heavier then when I started dieting… I knew I was over eating again, and so I quit.

But most importantly, I quit breakfast. Now I just have a coffee in the morning, some interwebz, and then only around lunch time, I eat again.

And that late night cookie is 1 again, not 2, or more.

And I feel a slow deeper layer of feeling fine again, of feeling healthier for eating less, and also, less often, and less emo triggered. I feel lighter inside, even if I have not checked my weight, or am going to check in a while 😉

It is so funny to not have ‘hunger’ issues when following the body’s correctness, for not eating since late night cookie until lunch. Not feeling woozy either. Just very naturally fine. And landing back, digesting exactly like it was before.

Your body already knows, now get out of the ff-ing way.
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MoonBlog 12.6 metamorphosis

Weirdos in the mail

FRI 23:49 Received FB friendship request, accept

Me: Hi, thanks for connecting ?

Weirdo: thank you for reaching out and accepting Sjef!

Me: Is it ok to share your (birth) data with me?
Mine are at the bottom here:
https://www.mcha.nl/reflector/

Weirdo: why would you ask for it Sjef?

Me: I always ask for it
https://www.facebook.com/sjef.romijn/posts/1048372788868833
[4/6 Reflector, PLL-DLR, RAX of Rulership] public service announcement:
If you make a FB friend request, but can not even say ‘Hi’ back, you’re out.
If you’re into HD but don’t want to share your HD chart with me, you’re out.
If you ask me HD questions, but don’t (want to) get into studying it, then ask 20 questions in groups, you’re out.

Weirdo: why?
this is private, no?

Me: but it is not a matter of why
it is either correct ofr you to share, or not correct
that is Living Your Design, to follow through on your correctness
not yout mind

Weirdo: if you will explain other than just request it would be easier for me to related to

Me: no, that is your mind being in control

Weirdo: no

Me: which is fine, but then your answer, falsly, is no
which is different than your Inner Authority saying no

Weirdo: falsely? can you explain?

Me: as long as you come up with arguments, like it is private, it is mind deciding
it is not S&A
mind is defending something
but like I said in the link
if, for whichever ‘reason’ you don’t share it
then we’re not going to be fb friends
I only interact with people I do have a chart of
as fb friends that is

Weirdo: I am not coming up with an argument but requesting to understand the why. I think it more than fair.

Me: fair is mind
understanding is mind
Im not here to answer your mind
nor are you here to answer mine
it is correct or not
those are arguments
and I have explained it

Weirdo: my Son needs my attention. whether you wish to be my friend or not is your own call.

Me: absolutely

Weirdo: trust is something you build

Me: is a mental discernment
but if that is your current answer, perfectly fine, no objection
enjoy your day ?

Weirdo: i invite you to read some of the things I am writing about friendship and trust
linkedin link
thank you.

Me: I dont have Linked In and Im not interested in the opinions of your mind, arguments
you dont want to share your chart, for whatever reason
so I unfriended you

Weirdo: we will talk more

Me: no we wont

Weirdo: thank you. have a great day Sir.
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MoonBlog 30.5 Irony

When people think it’s about the shininess of the content of the bargain they propose
but it’s all about the initiation, which is irrelevant to you or the contents themselves.

It is simply correct, or, not correct.

Not because of the shiny things you offer, or the results you propose.
Correctness does not care about the this & that of it.

add-on/edit: unless the bargain is sex… I guess, then yes, promised shiny results are key 😉

But when you try to bargain something that is not sex, aahh well
get ready to be surprised 😀
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MoonBlog 52.5 Explanation

Topic raised: “on the fringe and conspiratorial vs. those who are not” & “if the difference here is between individual and tribal circuitry respectively.

To me, it does not seem related to circuitry or even mechanics.

If one has control issues, which is a psychological disorder, then one is doubtful and in ‘against’ mode.

If one is the passenger (again), there is only observation and experience, mind is no longer running the show, and there is no more ‘issue’.

To be in this world but not of it

walking around like a tourist, through lock-downs and Ikea parking lot lines, none of it is personal (anymore).

Whereas the conspiracy theorists, (regardless of whether their particular conspiracy may be factually true!!), still have a (entirely made up) personal stake in outcomes. It’s just ego/mind.

Just like being born tall or short is not personal, but here we are incarnated into this body this time, well, see what it does, how it moves, runs, lays on the couch.

Instead of imposing will and arguments on how and what, life ‘should’ look like. The vanity and intellectual arrogance…

Mind you, I was deeply into conspiracies and anger issues and make-ability syndrome, and much more similar mental illness issues.

That is how I see them now, my mind was running the show and it was sick. Now it’s just crazy but no longer running things. Quite a comfortable/pleasant difference.
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Moonblog 8.2 service

Moonblog 8.2

Sometimes relationships, friendships have had their run. It’s time to let go, and they simply present themselves as such.

Blissfully unaware of that, but then the other starts projecting on you, and when you tell them you’re not ok with that projection, they even tell you to doubt, that you know any better about what you, or your life is like, or about.

Another, out of the blue starts calling you, or what you do/not do, stupid. Well, you may indeed find what I do, or not do stupid, but it sure as shit does not make me stupid.

All of a sudden you realize, they’re trying to hold you back, that you’re going places they do not want you to go, or go in a different way. But that is not up to them, far from it.

Of course the danger is, that you’ve become so distant to certain things in life, maybe perhaps too aloof, or even ‘unemotional’, that you don’t see the forest for the trees. Maybe they hint at a blind spot, that is hard for ourselves to see.

But when the chord of interrelating is indeed cut, and you suddenly feel more free again, when you realize how sticky and controlling it all has become, how much drama was created by that other, ratcheting…

…maybe just maybe, you are indeed better off without them, and it is time for a new network, or some new people in it.

Only -you- can ever know, what is truly correct for you, so:
-don’t hold back
-take no shit
-enjoy yourself

‘Merry happy fucking Kiron Return’

Edit/add-on: the funny thing is, they think they are disqualifying you, when they are disqualifying themselves.
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MoonBlog 28.1 preparation

I’m about to throw in the towel, leave all these FB HD groups. Again 😉

The influx of newbies who are drawn in by people like Jenna Zoe selling people ‘Reflector muffins’ and ‘dieting by Type’, combined with the groups admin/moderators too uninterested in keeping the contents about HD.

I really enjoy sharing experience and knowledge with others about HD, in individual sessions, classes and in those groups.

But it seems it is just not my network anymore, when other Certified or semi Professionals also use such groups for shooting from the hip and just blabber from their minds.

I don’t care about the newbie doing so, it is what we are here for, to help guide the way, shine the light, give proper info.

But when the trained, or even certified start doing so, I know it is no longer ‘safe’ for me anymore. When some caretakers take a break themselves, and the groups instantly become much much worse.

Now I know it is in part the Transits cause every single year around this time, this notion happens. I know it is the 4th line overwhelm and sense of abdication.
Is it my Kiron Return of last May? Is it the caving in of the structure of the Cross of Planning too?

I just don’t feel available anymore to the masses, the lurkers, the silent readers, and the network seems depleted, or at least shrinking.

Anyways, maybe see you again elsewhere
(For now, I left a couple of badly moderated groups, and blocked a few more idiots, maybe it helps)
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MoonBlog 60.5 leadership

Relevant to several FB HD groups: The convo about being bullied or not is a side issue but taking it away from the real issue, the cause for most of these arguments/discussions, where we no longer speak about HD but about how we speak about HD, and how we speak to each other:

Can you be in a group, where people have different ways of talking?

Do you seek to impose ways of communication on others? Like safe spaces and whatnot. Are you easily offended?

Do you argue the tone, and how it (supposedly) -feels- to you (which is thinking btw) what the other has said, but never intended.

Do you seek to manipulate your experiences of life and of conversations with others?

Are your decisions and opinions run by your arrogant mind in a group that seeks to support in moving away from that same mind?

Etc etc.
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MoonBlog 33.2 surrender

When your deeper cravings, wishes and desires, drive your actions, become your motives. To not be aware of these deeper wants, hunger, longing. Not sit with them but resolve them, trying to, filling countless round holes with square pegs (pun intended).

As opposed to be aware of them, honoring them, allowing them to be. To be a lone human on a barren planet, looking for love, looking, looking. Where your conditioned conditions meet the other’s conditioned conditions. Where you find, but not just quite, or seems not, is not, as we knee-jerk onwards. Uh and ah !

A great hunger and appetite for intimacy

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MoonBlog 33.4 dignity

Supposedly the Buddha has said:
“My teaching is a raft whereon men may reach the far shore The sad fact is that so many mistake the raft for the shore”

But what I see often with people dabbling with Human Design and in the HD FaceBook groups is people bitching about that raft, thinking they can take a bus instead, or get a canoe. Get a ride with someone else instead.

And then others ask if there are accommodations on the raft, with sheets and bedding, what time is lunch actually? Wanting the day to day program, stating ahead that they’re not going to do the 2 o-clock meditations ever, ow and probably skip that other class too cause someone else did it and they did not like it.

Then there are those that seek discounts for the crossing without ever knowing the initial price.

Others complain about not being able to swim, or only seek to go when the weather is fine and they have a few free holi-days.

And thus they never reach that far shore, never get to experience what life is going to be like after. Seeing the raft, or teaching as a means to not go, to not ‘get their feet wet’ as a hurdle, when the raft is only just a means to get somewhere else.

It is not about the raft at all. It is not about all these Outer Circumstances.
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MoonBlog 54.6 Selectivity

MoonBlog 54.6 exalted in ‘Three Activations’ View

As someone who is in the experiment well over 11 years, and providing my own Transit/Lunar Cycle service, I find the Transit Tool provided by myBodyGraph very advanced, very elaborate too. Maybe even too advanced for beginners.

However, there is so much functionality in it, some obvious by just clicking here and there, some perhaps not so obvious.

So is it for beginners? Yes and no, for some it will be an online honey pot and resource of incredible information, for others it might be a nerd fest of overwhelm.

At the same time, the information that is provided, like all Retrograde Planets, and when they start or end doing so, and other statistics, the live view is fascinating.

Over time one will use a few key functions I presume, you may gravitate towards some different ones than I would, and because it is so elaborate and vast this is all possible.

When having access to Steps 2 and 3 on just one chart, but then not having that same access in the Transit Tool is unfortunate and only overcome by buying the unlimited access.

My Transit Cycle Sequence in full

And sometimes I end up in another information layer I need to remind myself to click the exit cross on the right and come back to the big overview of menus again, where I can then play again with which information to show:
Themes, keynotes and Lines under Planetary Activations
Keynotes, Not-Self Keynotes, Not-Self Questions under Centers
Keynotes under Channels
Elaborate Ordering options under Gates
The many, many ‘hover mouse over’ information baloons

And once activating some of the many options in the ‘show’ menu under the Moon Cycle, another vast bank of info opens up to play with, which I enjoy very much, which I can imagine any beginner struggling with, but starting out with selecting and deselecting which options to show, may help there indeed.

The Ephemeris part did not phase me that much, but can imagine other people have a field day looking forwards or back to certain events, although limited to the years 1900 – 2060. Ok I tried actually and got from December 31st 1899 until May 30st of 2061 😉

Add on: What is odd to me and may confuse others, is the use of the blue and green color. In the MMI, when making a Transit Chart, what is Resonant or you, becomes Green and what forms a Channel (Harmonic) is Blue. In this tool it is the other way around. Luckily there is also the Three Activations view, where the Red & Black of your own chart remain intact and Transits are Green, as seen in the picture top right.

Do check out the descriptions and screenshots here: https://www.mybodygraph.com/shop/product/transit-tool before buying, to see if it tickles you funny, or perhaps not.

A big thanks to Pontus Erik Karlsson (5/1 Reflector) from https://www.thekeytoyourself.com for being paramount in the idea, development and implementation of this online resource.
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MoonBlog 35.1 Humility

Choice is the expression of a speculation

Either you have choice, and then always have (a) choice and thus makes you a God, cause you can then manipulate it all and everything.

Or you have none whatsoever. (Who once said, try holding your pee in for xx hours?)

There are quite a few things in my life, that sometimes people comment on, positive or negative, but I know, I could not, not do them.

Helpless and incompetent indeed.

Including studying HD the way I have. And now I can’t anymore. I’m done, at least for now, and there is plenty to study more, but I’m good.
Plenty of non HD books to read also; nope, no more, I’m done searching, no more life questions, no more seeking any answers.

Being a passenger requires no doing, and thus it requires no consideration of a concept like choice, or no choice. This too then simply becomes irrelevant.

The question itself, to understand, know, grok, find out the truth about it, is just another distraction by mind to see if there is still just one other thing to control, like really pretty please, how about this one then, no? This one then, ow…

Which if you can not not do that, great

“All the knowledge burns down in the face of Strategy & Authority” -Dirk Nellens (4/6 Reflector)

All knowing becomes irrelevant. All information gets their proper value; which is none. Only mind valuates and files/stores info into categories.

When you no longer need information to make decisions, or even opinions on/about, when mind is no longer the go-to (re)solver of issues caused and considered by the very same mind.

Something is either correct for you, or not correct for you. The Magnetic Monopole already knows, (re)cognizes it, if the frequency is stabilized between Design Crystal and it. Our identified Personalities Mind is the ignorant one. And we may become aware of this correctness too, or ‘we’ may not. More irrelevance.

I see this Trajectory as Tarzan swinging from liana to liana, as the Program provides situations, energies, swinging, dancing, fluid, agile, and hop and hop. Through all the supposed ‘choices’ of life, through the maze, this one, that one, this one is for me, that one is correct, on and on and on.

And some of us crash into trees, sometimes, a lot, all the time, hard.

Does this answer whether we have a choice, to stabilize this frequency? No it does not.
But who/what is demanding it should do so in the first place, aggressively?

But also: Human Design Unleashed – The Choice
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MoonBlog 61.5 Influence

So I noticed quite a few of the questions and experiences of some Reflectors here (Human Design Reflectors FaceBook group), stem from feeling/perceiving to be off kilter, unhinged even, unbalanced mostly.

I’d like to give my view on how and why that is, and yes there is a how to this 😉

So, when we, as Reflectors, follow our Strategy & Authority, meaning when we -apply- it, when we use it for our decision making, the results are something else. When I first met Human Design 11 years ago (last Monday), I simply could never have imagined such a way of going about things. I’m someone who needs to be told, and then I can play with it, and can dive quite deep in experimenting. But before I’m told/explained, I have no clue and wonder around like an idiot, lost, deeply lost.

I met Human Design roughly 18 months before I ever saw my chart, and so it did not make sense, I could not ‘use’ it, I didn’t even know there were charts, so it was just another blabla story to me. And this guy with the funny hat did not appeal either. But when I was given my chart, at age 38, now I had some kind of framework to jump off from, explore with, I kinda had a baseline.

So, apply, apply, apply, rinse and repeat. Making a stink of it, doing really bad, not following it, telling myself all kinds of stories about what HD was and wasn’t and of course my overgrown identifications with what/who I thought I was and had become and my abilities.

But that was just the first part of it, and something I realized again last night as I contemplated some of this groups topics and comments.

But first, another part of becoming more self, and truly whatever this self is, whether it is a this kind or that kind, more like this or more like so, becoming and being you depends on understanding and having experimented, experienced your individual Lunar Cycle and thus how you sample life, differently. Which can be a bit of a leap to get into, but after a while it is like a fish swimming in water, since it is all about the observation. Not the interpretation, not even the (limits of our) perception, it’s observation, and we get better and better at it once we start, go there, get experienced with it. And we already are quite perceptive as Reflectors, so, focusing on that, really helps to get a better sense of this illusive, non consistent self.

And through it, again, more relaxation, in ourselves, and in life. And maybe even feeling empowered (a word I hardly ever use). Not in control mind you.

But, and this is, to me at least, a mix of mechanics and its results of using them correctly, the frequency between the Design Crystal in us, and our Magnetic Monopole is unstable, most of the time. And this is where PHS and Environment come in. Because through the application of correct Digestion, and physically being in the right frequency of my correct Environment, we stabilize that frequency.

We can not stabilize the frequency between the Personality Crystal and the Magnetic Monopole and so we’ll always see-saw between our Motivation and our Transference, between our View and our Distraction, but we can stabilize the frequency of the Design, of the body. And through that stable frequency, the Magnetic Monopole can then hook us up to our correct Trajectory through life.

In about a week, I’m at the mid point of my Kiron Return, coming off the Roof as a 4/6, and so stuff is noticeably changing, except what the change itself is, but I do notice a change of frequency field, for me, to me, with me. I slowly begin to perceive to be called, called out, outside, to the floor, off the roof, and so yesterday I had a lovely chat with someone about many things Human Design and when I came home it dawned on me, I needed to apply my PHS, it is my baseline, it is my go to. Not for the atoms of the food that I eat, not for the actual taste or aroma of those atoms that I digest. But for stabilizing that frequency !! It was after my lovely dinner (which is quite fixed to what I can and can not eat) but also my late night snack, which also is repetitive, according to my PHS, it came to me:

My stability in this life as I perceive and you can too, is because of the stability of that frequency between my Design Crystal and my Magnetic Monopole. And it’s like a game of dominoes. If one is off, all could be off. I become unbalanced, unhinged even, insecure, a mess, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically.

To realize how subtle yet profound the implications are, and how relatively easy it is to simply go there, and do, apply.

And this is without any Transits consideration even. Those can really add to my experience, for good or bad. And so my perception of life becomes distorted when I don’t, my ‘vulnerability’ for lack of a better word, to life becomes greater when I don’t Digest correctly, when I’m in the wrong Environment, in the wrong frequencies, digesting the wrong people, the wrong words, food, energies.

So I felt like sharing that with this group, because it is simple yet profound. Live your Design, step by step, slowly slowly. Becoming stable in our openness.

Add-on: One of the things I did yesterday, was I went quite the length to get one of my fav foods. Even though I was a bit tired and I had to go to the other side of the city center (I live on the North East side of it) and then 1 other neighborhood, which is quite the journey with all the one way streets and traffic lights and rush hour too. But in that doing, it became more than simple atomic sustenance for the body, it became spirit food.

MoonBlog 61.5
Gate 61 Mystery, inner truth. The awareness of universal underlying principles
Gate 61 Line 5 Influence
Exalted: The enlightened Father figure whose recognized wisdom and powerful assertion can mold a generation by its influence. The pressure to know that may result in influence and wisdom.
Detriment: A tendency in power to want to enforce compliance to ensure lasting influence. The pressure in knowing to resent challenges and demand acceptance.
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MoonBlog 49.1 the law of necessity

Birgitte,

in order to consider your request of removing all content regarding you, I will accept the following:

-unblock me on FaceBook first, by all your FB accounts/aliases.
-post an apology for smearing me, my name and my HD work falsely, be just as elaborate as you were smearing me, make this post public. A video message is acceptable too.
-Edit that specific smearing topic on your FB wall (do not delete it) to first make the post public, then to include the apology.
-write to all people you’ve written before complaining about me, like FB group admins and so on, with this public apology.
-Show me proof of all these.

The same applies for all others involved in that topic.

Then, I will take a full Lunar Cycle to consider your request.

Soap sequence here: https://www.mcha.nl/tag/soap/
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MoonBlog 2.5 Intelligent application

The Reflector Lunar Cycle is not a ritual to obey and follow, that when you don’t, someting bad happens.

It is not about ticking off all the boxes of pre-requisites, and then live happily ever after either.

It’s about becoming such a calm silent observer, for the incredible subtleties of what is already going on, outside (transits, people) and inside (perceptions, experiences) self and not-self, that you can live in awareness of where life takes you, what your Trajectory is, and to relax into how choice-less we all are.

To surrender to that, and see, observe and witness, what that is like.

While dancing the jitterbug, riding your bicycle, making out, cooking dinner or anything else.

MoonBlog 2.5
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MoonBlog 23.3 Individuality

On the purity of Human Design or mixing it with other frameworks/modalities:

It has nothing to do with following one persons words (Ra Uru Hu) by the letter, or even the Human Design framework ‘to a fault’.

It is about seeing that “all knowledge burns down in the face of Strategy & Authority” and having seen that, experienced it.

By tinkering with it, to add or subtract, we’re tinkering with knowledge alone.

For instance I’ve been in several GeneKeys DeepDives, was live in London with Richard and others just before the book got out, did GK Host and Guide training, was asked to become a GK Guide, and had a great time exploring my emotional world through it. It was incredibly valuable to me and everyone else I know or came in contact with.

But as I also deepened my experience with HD I came to see, that not HD, not Ra, not GK, not any of it, not PHS, not this economic framework or that political philosophy, not Advaita Vedanta was key, but S&A was, my S&A for me, by me.

It truly holds everything, to make those decisions by yourself, which is often times not even decision -making- but realization of what is correct. The dawning awareness of that reality.

And that there is nothing wrong with someone telling me this.

The funny thing is, people claim and clamor that they are free to mix it (which they are), how open and progressive that is, but as soon as someone is telling them (why) not to mix it, all the openness and progressiveness is out the window and they become fundamentalist mixers all of a sudden, just like what they accuse others of doing ! 🙂

While more and more HD people shake their heads and become more and more silent in FB HD groups because of the enormous influx of people indeed wanting to mix, or as they fear the no choice dilemma, to at least have the option as they then cling to it and defend it ferociously, but not creating their own mix groups, but instead just take over the conversations, loud, arrogant, obnoxious, as they promote their mix, and then another mix, and yet another other with another mix.

Mixing it, is not experimenting with it. Hiding behind others and become false group thugs is not you living it.

Writing their own books, giving more, giving less, changing this, changing that, while standing on the basics of HD, while trampling it all the same. Ignoring the pearls from within it as changing one word or syllable has more importance, than -living- it or learning to, as their ego’s are boasted by the people that buy stuff from them, thinking both parties are on the right track, of manipulating life, of creating shortcuts to salvation and the end of their suffering.

That is not duality at all, “ignoring the yin (dark), only seeking yang (light), living only half of a dualistic life, for moral superiority”

I’ve had access to tons and tons and tons of HD and mixed or altered information, and to see, not just for me, but for so many others too, that even pure HD info is not the key, the information is just a drug (gateway drug?) is just for the mind to think it can outsmart life, pretend to change the mind with more/better information. And Ra was the pusher of it, by popular demand.

And then mind make all these and those connections, and thus indeed combine structures, insights, frameworks.

Until *plop* hey, wait a minute, more info is not supporting actually, it is aggravating, it is steering me in an ever more mental direction of thinking to know, to -understand- but it is a lie.

I don’t need more -information- to make my decisions, I need to find out what my decision -IS-, first, without my powerful mind, and listen to that body consciousness, and follow its directions.

I don’t need to know what Color 3 -means-, I need to -live- it.
To apply it, use it, and see how it responds, reacts, struggles, and observe that, notice it behaving. I don’t need to know what Gate the Moon is in right now to live it. Yes it is awesome to understand what energies are present right now, how I sample life differently, right now. But -knowing- what Gate it is in, does not change how I -experience- life, right now.
-edit- it actually does change the experience, but not for good, cause it steers the focus, it limits the openness of observation, because of pre-conceiving the experience, of setting the mind up for how the experience should/might/could look like in the first place.

And yes information of the framework of the how and why or when is interesting, but by just living it, it really does not matter if Reflectors are called Observers or Evaluators, and anyone (!) -selling- you that it does matter, has an agenda not to free you as a passenger, but is a prisoner of their own opinions on things, and help you become one too. And as we find our mental equals, we can salute each other and tap each other on the back for how fucking smart we are for knowing better than silly old Ra, but never outsmarting our own damn minds…

“Look at me, I’m pointing at the moon”, they say, look I changed HD and mixed it with this and that, want to hear my recipe, my version of how my mind made it -seem- better, so you can seem to feel better about it too. In your head?

No matter if you are called Richard Rudd, Karen Curry/Parker, Steve Rhodes or Juliane Hahn.
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MoonBlog 39.4 Temperance

The last part on the Reflector is nonsensical homogenization, and fantasy wishful thinking writing based on a theoretic understanding of Reflectors.

“Having clear boundaries and conscious awareness of what’s really going on during the game will help him not be overwhelmed by others or feel disappointed in the way the game is going but rather feel a sense of surprise and wonder at the excitement and flow of it all.”

Those pre-requisites of ‘having clear boundaries and conscious awareness’ are unattainable for any/all Reflectors and can not be used as a tool to counter such influences, this is just pretending to have any such control over the influence of the experience, first, and for all Reflectors, second. 7 centered Make-ability syndrome all over again.

Also as if being overwhelmed is something to avoid, first, and or bad, second, but most of all as if one actually can avoid any of the experience in such a way. But then also, as if ‘feeling a sense of’ [anything] is the goal! And then particularly or specifically “surprise and wonder at the excitement and flow of it all” as if Reflectors are toddlers or something, what the actual…?

Reflectors/Evaluators (still waiting for any proof that Ra himself ever called Reflectors Evaluators) do sample, do experience, but this way of writings suggests one only is one if one feels this sense of surprise and even wonder, first, but for the flow of it all? There is no room for things not flowing (say an accident happens with a player breaking a leg infield and needs medical attention, or a fight among players from opposing teams, or opposing fans), no room for unexcitement, which happens much MUCH more often than not and is just as valid an experience, especially when IT IS the actual experience of this, or that Reflector.

But also, as if 3 Reflectors, or 300 would experience all the same in the same situation, first, and only if they have clear boundaries and conscious awareness (can we measure this, is that in kilograms, or other units?) second.

Ah man… this is truly fantasy blabla-land.

Edit/add-on: it seems in BG5 there is no deconditioning and therefor something external must bring forth the peace, satisfaction, success and surprise (and wonder at the excitement and flow of it all), when living your design it is not brought (in/out?) by external factors, it is a result of you Living Your Design.

I can understand if one teaches things in certain ways, this is the conclusion people arrive at. And therefor surprise and awe/wonder happens because of this (positive thing only), or because of that (any other positive outer circumstance) because the teaching itself omits how it does work, so it does not sound too googoogaga, when in fact that is the -only- realm it does functions in: dark matter and dark energy.

And therefor has become yet another way of misrepresenting Reflectors and what they are and how they do work/function, when HD is probably the only tool available to explain Reflectors well, they seem to fucking miss the mark on each occasion.
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MoonBlog 12.3 Confession

Question: “How do reflectors approach each other if we are supposed to be initiated?”
One answer: “Where do such distortions come from? What does it mean to be initiated?”

Why call it a distortion when you’re not sure yet what it is?
Doubt versus inquiry.

Anyways. This is a nice example of being initiated but needing to process, and I wrote about it 6 years ago here:
https://www.mcha.nl/2012/10/29/initiate-me/

But I’ll add: to me, it is the perception of kick-starting my processing. Just like both your question/answer has. I felt, perceived, noticed I was initiated to answer this one, so I started processing it to answer, and in the mean time saw this question a few times during, but still nothing came to me to answer, while still perceiving, noticing to be initiated by it.

So someone comes along and does something, it could be towards you (a hug, a shout, a question, a smile) and you notice a shift by it, through it. It could also be a TV-ad, a picture you see online.

Nothing magical, nothing really special or something, just this perception, that yes, this is for me -to process- to maybe/perhaps engage with. When or how, is something else, but to notice this, first, is important. To perceive to be, initiated. No distortion here.

And sometimes, someone comes, asks, tells, does whatever, and I clearly notice -not- to be initiated. That it is not for me to process, which is a lot of the time. Much more than when I actually am (or perceive to be) initiated. No distortion here either.

So also, it is clear it is not the other persons doing, that they purposefully initiate me, with their agenda. Sure they could, and many do. But it is about me feeling that this, yes, has initiated me to process.

And then I do.

And then I wait, until the processing has finished and I know, yes, or no. Now I can do this, or interact with this someone on their question/journey, whatever it was they asked of me. Or no, I can not.

So when something is for me and me alone, no one else needs to initiate me. Like eating, or playing guitar.

When someone else is involved I need to be initiated, going out to dinner, or play in a band. This could be done by another person, but not necessarily. You can find out for yourself how it works for yourself, each Reflector for themselves.

There is talk that between people of the same Type, there is no Strategy; so Manifestors don’t need to inform each others, Generators not wait to respond, but I’m not sure if that is true. And I have seen examples of this not always working, so…

To answer the initial question: “How do reflectors approach each other if we are supposed to be initiated?” is, you experiment. Try it out by initiating yourself. Or, notice if you are already initiated by something to contact this Reflector. And if you notice, no, this feels off, I do not perceive to be initiated, even though my mind keeps annoying me with the subject, then see that, notice that, and move on. Sometimes we already are long time initiated and processing/operating accordingly without us being consciously aware, and sometimes we are not initiated but our minds heckle and harass us about it as if we should be.

What I learned through my journey in Human Design, is that before HD I thought life was really rough, and tough, and clear and black and white, that the way people interacted was always clear-cut and ‘manifested’ (for lack of a better word). This is this, and that is that. And I came to find it is incredibly subtle really, and nuanced, very delicate at times. And I was completely blind and unaware that these fine and even minute principles did run me, triggered me, initiated me already, loooong before I or my mind noticed any of it. HD helped me see these finer details of when, why and how I am triggered by external things, that kick-start my processing.

And that having this incredibly rough perception made me incredibly blind. To me being me, myself.
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MoonBlog 10.4 The opportunist

Weirdos in the mail:

and this took 20 minutes…

Weirdo: how would you describe gate 26?

Me: describing I wouldn’t so much,a s know it, what it is capable of
but yeah BIG EGO is one

Weirdo: whhy is it called egoist
what are people projecting on me if i have 26.5

Me: you do have it !

Weirdo: hahaha
unconciouss

Me: which is all they see

Weirdo: what do you mean?

Me: you think only about your Personality traits, while everyone only sees your Design traits
lots of mindy questions there bud

Weirdo: yeah why not mindy questions?
its interestimg

Me: book a session?

Weirdo: nah ?
but people do see you personality and design right

Me: then my big ego says: bye 🙂
no
only you see P
only they see D

Weirdo: oh ok
but even my 22.2 conciouss sideshould be projected on , are you sure what you are talking about ?

Me: dude, go fuck yourself
are you drunk?

Weirdo: well whats your problem ? im just asking ? haha, im curious
not my fault if you have a bad day

Me: no you’re questioning me, while asking me, while not paying me, wasting my time
ah good, yeah all my fault
the end, you’re behaving like an asshole
(nice example of 26 response for you) *unfriend+block messaging*
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