MoonBlog 47.3 Self-oppression


dear hearts,

ever so slowly I feel more and more disconnected from the genekeys, deepdive and hosting.
And I have let it happen, because I now know where I am triggered and have taken no action.
It is the not receiving of genekeys/hosting updates in the mail.
Which is funny in a way, because in the earliest beginning of me entering the GeneKeys I was sometimes amazed at the frequency and length of emails, and now I miss out on them and trully miss them.

They really feel like touching base, like the morter between the bricks, the glue of this synarchy.
I also know why I have not said anything before, because I withhold commenting on it, mainly because I don’t want to be the one pointing to things that do not work over and over again, the burden of seeing them/feeling them.
After some hints here and there (Marideth Wilson amongst others) it seems there are several mix ups with the mailing lists.
As if many 1st DeepDivers do not get updates about the 2nd DeepDive (like upcoming calls, reminders and where/when the webinars are, and after the calls links for the downloads and others) I have received -none- of them since the 2nd dive. Since knowing the sites where to find them I just regularly checked them out and downloaded as I saw them come up.
But now with the change of date in the hosting call, received 14 minutes before the call I totally lost connection and interest, and now I’m fighting to get back, trying to fight to get back, maybe…
Maybe I should force myself to be live on/with the call tonite to get reconnected, but here and now, I really don’t feel like it.