Perpetual Rollercoaster

Since Ibiza April 2009 I have been on quite a journey, through (online) information, meeting and greeting people, and classes/lectures/events.

First I dived into Integral Human Design through the webinar at GeneKeys by Richard Rudd and Werner Pitzal, which gave me a sense of other/more possibilities using the bodygraph. In short: applying Integral Approach and Spiral Dynamics combined with your bodygraph and thus locking in to higher and higher states of being.

Then off to Amsterdam for a Living Your Design weekend with Guido Wernink, Stien Michiels and others for more basic knowledge and practical lessons about what it really means to actually live your design (hence the name ;-), what possibilities there are and what contrasts we will meet, in ourselves and others. Giving me a greater foundation to work from.

And I just had to go to London for the 3 day Integral Human Design event, something inside me said I would regret it severely if I didn’t go, and a mate encouraged me to go too (thank you Ray) It did also help that it stated that it would be the only time Richard Rudd would participate, because I had been (re)searching stuff he wrote over the years, so I knew I just had to go.

And what an intense but also deeply loving event that was, not only through the information that was presented, also through the people presenting and sharing it, and we the participants came very quietly in a deep sincere loving understanding of ourselves and each other, and the world as a whole, and beyond (!) Amazingly beautiful. And also through speaking with some of the participants outside the event (during breaks, at dinner etc) I slowly became aware of very profound traits that are inside me, and I could use for myself and in service of others. What it is to be me, and who that is. Not a quick flash of instant remedy, but a slow awareness of what is happily burning inside me and wants to come out, wants to be greeted, wants to be experienced and also fine-tuned.

And what a change immediately after that, in who and how I’m meeting people now, much more loving and honest. Or not, than people just turn away, and I’m fine with that. The confrontation is gone.

Coming back from London I see and realize that my company is going slowly broke. Several reasons for it, changed market/clients, people holding on to their money, etc. In a way quite a shame because it took me a long time to start my company, and now, 2 years into it I see that it is not going to make it, and I come to terms with that fact. In the mean time I’m wondering what to do exactly with Human Design in whatever variant, which probably is teaching about it. I’m no analyst or coach by far, but teaching about it is what I realize what I’m actually already doing, through people I know or meet. Also aware of missing key information and/or minimal requirements (the ones I impose on myself that is) so started checking out all kinds of educational stuff in all variants.

Also in the mean time there is the 3 part webinar about the Gene Keys Synthesis, where IHDS is just a part of the totality, and that fact fills my heart with joy. It is what I’ve vaguely suspected all along, like I’ve written before somewhere:
“If ‘the’ truth were measurable and say one meter long, than HDS would probably be roughly a third of that. So for me it is part of -a- truth, but not -the- one and only” So now let’s see if this synthesis is more of a certain truth, to me.

Having missed out on the previous reflector mooncycle course and the 2 courses about conditioning by Dharmen and/or Leela, I only had to look twice at their new 5 week course before ordering it. Although all these early bird pricing, limited participants and other ‘hurry up and order’ marketing tactics really run right against my “having to wait a moon/month” and sometimes make me quite angry… I do not -want- to decide overnight.

So now I have 2 dilemma’s, because I have decided on what courses to take (and they are several) and all probably in the same space/time, and there is no immediate funding for it… Anyways here is the list:

I just started the Course in Human Design V2 by Zeno and want to attain the Human Design Practitioners certificate
In the Jovian way I want to attain the knowledge of a Living Your Design Guide, so have to do a Rave ABC and Cartography first/too
And also entering the GeneKeys deep dive and probably afterwards the Guide training.

And all that besides smaller but quite important sessions (like PHS intro) along the way.

Wish me luck 😉