Tobacco II

Today started with smoking only at the whole hour (handy wristwatch can tell me with a beep) instead of whenever. Trying to break through the habbit itself besides the addiction.

Noticed sometimes I smoke more per hour and sometimes none for several hours.

Tomorrow will see what options my health care assurance provides/accepts as viable treatments. Been reading meanwhile and soft-laser acupuncture interested me.

And as for doing something else instead of smoking while kicking it, I’ve bought a superb Kettler multi-gym fitness machine almost a year ago, still in the box in the hallway, awaiting me 😉

Small steps..

Comment October 20, 2009

Hmm, soft-laser acupuncture came out very nasty in terms of proven/worthwhile/science.
3rd day of smoking every whole hour and is really funny to see the depth of habit in that, and the moments of ‘wanting’ a cigarette because of uncomfort in a situation, or at least wanting to duck/dampen the impact, be it joy or sadness, ecstatic or fear, love or grief.
Am getting a headache though, my body does want another rhythm of nicotine dosage. But I kinda enjoy this hourly intoxication (in my mind) Not ready to really start quitting the addiction itself, because of the impact on my life, but enjoying breaking the habit 🙂 .

Comment October 20, 2009

When I quit drinking (forcefully because was in jail) they gave me 5 blue pills per day, to kick the physical effects of withdrawal. 3 in the morning, and 2 in the evening. 3 in the morning because I drank all day, not just at night.

And they were funny pills, because they made me laugh, a lot, about the food, the other inmates, etc. But after a while I realised I went in an alcoholic and would probably leave being a pill popper. That I did not like. So made a deal with the doctor there. Each 2nd week, take 1 pill off. So in 2 weeks time I would have 4 pills per day for 2 weeks. And 2 weeks later there would be 3 left per day for 2 weeks. And on and on. I really felt I needed that kind of structure/schematics in it.

So I would only have a few days to be in agony (mostly mental yes, but not only) because of the new amount and than have almost a week and a half smooth sailing.

And then another 2 weeks of a new amount. Until there were none left. And only then the mental process really started. Which actually is still continuing to this day…

I kinda feel like I’m working my way up to do exactly that with my smoking.

First make a schematic, and sticking to it for a bit, and then easing up on the schematic, by maybe going every 2 hours later on, not sure yet. .

Comment October 25, 2009

It’s been 8 full days now, of only smoking every whole hour, unless sleeping 😉 And some occasions where I smoked less because in a conversations where I could not smoke, or in a classroom, etc. And I think it is really fun(ny) to do. I can observe myself wanting, or at least thinking I want to smoke.
And in the meantime still giving my receptors the nicotine it acts like craving for (begging toddler comes to mind, without the tantrums though)

And on my own I really like this exercise, but just now, a mate came and visited, and we always talk energetically, and noticed several times I -really- wanted to smoke more, and we discussed that, and I did not gave in, but still nice to notice when and how. Also nice to to experience that he should smoke in his tempo, my old tempo. And a good training for later when I might not smoke at all. I have to do this (myself) for -me- and by -myself-, and conquer this on my own, whether in the presence of others or not.

I’ll give myself at least another full week of this tempo and than probably adjust like the schematic I wrote earlier.

I’ll read the 24 some day and will let you know as soon as I did.
Thing is though, with all these GeneKeys, people write beautiful stuff of how they perceived the writings or audio’s, and for now I have absolutely nothing to write, because still in the process of digesting, really.