I don’t have a smart center, I don’t have an I know what I need to know center. I have centers for wisdom, yes, but none of my centers give me any indication of what I need to do in my life. None of them respond with any authority of what is and what is not correct for me, or whom.

My Inner Authority is a process, and it is through this processing that I can become aware of it. Latent, dormant, or quite new. What is what and what is me in or with that, and how. Is it this? Is it that? I do not yet know. I do not.

My mind can get confused of-course. Asking and asking, questioning, doubting my every non move. Heckling and harping about this and that, obsessively. But it also knows, that it does not know, actually, in reality. It knows it does not know, and through this growing malaise it just makes stuff up, so it, not you, feels more comfortable.

Because it has said something, it has come up with something. Usually quite ridiculous, but there it is, this is what the mind said, now go do it, and be quick about it. No need to check it beforehand, we’ll figure it out as we go along, and I’ll punish, blame and be mean for anything you do anyway, so why not get on with the nonsense I just told you?

With the internal radio tuned to the minds station I am lost. As it slowly over time, becomes a concert in the area I hear glimpses of it, traveling in the wind, sometimes crystal clear, and some profound. But usually just noise, just a cacophony of influences, of opinions, of viewpoints, of commands, of judgments, of bullying

I do not have any smart center, I have centers of wisdom

Moon Blog 6.1

Gate 6 of friction, conflict. The fundamental design component of progress. The law that growth cannot exist without friction.

Gate 6 Line 1 retreat. The realization that wasting one’s resources against overwhelming odds is not courage but folly.
Exalted: The power of regeneration that can embrace retreat as a phase and not a failure. The emotional stability to accept conflict.
Detriment: The inferiority complex, where retreat is experienced as personal weakness. Emotional instability in times of conflict.