Entering the cave
– Ibiza 2009, Thursday 9, almost out of here but still have 2 events coming up.
First one, my signpost session with Dharmen. I looked at some of the transits before making the appointment, and at this session the moon is in gate 57, opposing my gate 20 and so ‘penetrating awareness’ which I thought was rather sneaky of me, even though I do not feel all those transits, or am aware of them. Just something to play with, in the mind.
SIGNPOST SESSIONS Available daily by appointment – Price: $ 100 for a 30 minute Signpost Session My gift is that I see patterns. What I tend to focus on is where the pattern is off. My form is always looking for what doesn’t work. As a Reflector, I am deeply living Human Design and I am closely connected to the movement of the Maia through my work on Jovian Radio with the Daily Neutrino Forecast. When I sample someone, I can sense where their pattern is off-base relative to their design. In this coaching format, I can act as a signpost in your experiment. If you truly want to know what you need to be working on, where you are on track and where you are not, I am available. Includes custom CD recording of the 30 minute session. with Dharmen Swann-Herbert
And like stated many times before, I’m still nervous, but in a way that it actually makes me more aware. My senses are on a very high alert as it were, not too see trouble coming, but to grasp as much of anything and everything as I can.
When waiting for my signpost to start, Dharmen comes up to me and touches my shoulder and belly with his hands, which instantly calms me down. My uncle does this sometimes too. My mind is thinking ‘if you do not like me, you don’t do that, so he’s not going to be rude, now what about that pounding?’ 🙂
And after a little while he invites me into his ‘cave’ and starts my signpost, talking about us reflectors. Being Shaman, witchdoctors but only after knowing who we are ourselves first. And we are not this, or that, we are openness. Regardless of form, but with the various traits this form does have. Only not consistently, not everything all the time. (he chuckles a lot while speaking, which I really enjoy) So not holding on to these things because they come and go. But looking at the consistency of my tendencies, because that is who I am, how I move, what my flow is.
Advising me how to see and feel what it is to be me, in a practical sense. And then getting a great chuckle of my Sun’s 47, rulership of confusion as he calls it. But saying it does not run me, as a lunar being, my focus should be my (personality’s) moons 46(.4). And my Design moon’s 20(.1) is what my form is all about. These 2 gates rule me. So when the moon is in gate 20, is when I ‘get’ a new -body-, a new moon for me, and looking through my 46 (2, 4 and 6), looking to its unusualness. Thus looking at the unusualness of how my form moves. As an example, that some of the time we really care about the body, but not all the time. But with a sense that my body is not common, taller than most people for instance. The beauty of my temple, but not consistent, paying attention when the 29 comes.
About the reflector dilemma: if there is nothing consistent about me, how am I going to live out here in this world, clothes on my back, roof over my head, food on my table and so on. Having to trust that the gods will provide, that the moon provides with what we need, being a lunar baby. So learning what the moon is bringing me, so I know what I got. And also, we are not meant to live in this life by ourselves, otherwise we cannot reflect, so we are not here to be alone, on our own, doing our own thing. have to be a part of what is going on. As a 4(/6) I need to move around my network. Place, to find the right people. If I’m not with the right people I’m not going to find what I’m here for, what I’m here for to enjoy (in) this life.
How he loves to me becoming 40 soon, being up on the roof. I should just really -go- for it, as long as I still breathe. Being a Very confused individual, all these ideas, what could, should, would, might work, but none of that is real because that is not where I live the life. Live the life in and through my lunar odyssey. With my new body every 20 to explore this odyssey, looking at the movement of this body.
Getting to Human Design not only at this age with more than half my life in front of me but also with how far this knowledge has evolved now. Reading HDS will help me understand some of what I’m going to be dealing with, but without going through the process of understanding what it is going to do for me, it does me no good at all except confuse me a lot (more? 🙂 ) because my mind will tell me stuff about what I read, and not experienced. The mind telling me what I should do, instead of understanding what this monthly energy is, that comes and goes. How that feels like for -me-. When there is a conditioned feeling, seeing for what it is and move on, and/or when there is enjoyment. Without changing anything (that’s work), only seeing it. Seeing it stops it from controlling me because you’re not in it, and therefore it does not run me. Finding my flow, whatever happens, whatever is going on, whatever something -does- feel like. In touch with my lunar energies. Cleanly, without getting pulled out of my flow.
Without initiating telling what I see (that’s going to be really really difficult…). Only when asked can I tell, just realizing what I see, up and down, not entering the sticky stuff of the other. Give them a signpost when asked, otherwise there is no power behind it, and it is going nowhere. Even if because seeing it, I want to get it out of me and put it in to you. Being an aware reflector or not, already realizing it is not me, and really want it out of me, putting it where it should be:
You.
With the dilemma of the 4, afraid of putting people off in my network, where I (need to?) do all my externalizing. But in the mean time, if someone asks me, and I tell them and they don’t like what I said, *bleep* them. 🙂 They are not for me, not the right people. Not everybody is for -my- network, why I need to find -my- place. And as a reflector have to be in tune with the people that -do- come to me. And give them what and how they can understand individually.
Telling me how entering my experiment -fully- I should do (should have done) a Living Your Design for getting the map to understand where I am. And a Lunar Odyssey to give me consistency in this openness. And maybe (sometime) afterwards a PHS.
So I will be able to find -my- generators, -my- manifestors, -my- projectors, for -my- network. Not just any will do as a 4, being transpersonal, having Karma to work out. Knowing who is correct for me, is if they stay in my life. Having to be my friends (with or without benefits :-), brotherhood/sisterhood. Out of that comes the opportunities.
At the end he asked me if I had any questions, and/or was satisfied with what I got, and I could not think of anything, I was comfortably filled with all he talked about. Only later on back in my apartment I thought about the one question I did have, and which I would have really liked asking him at the time of my session, so he could look at my chart and maybe see the answer to it. So the next day in him passing by on the terrace I asked him: Should and/or could I be an analyst? “what else are you going to do as a reflector and we don’t have enough of them” Well, I liked the answer only half, because it was too generic for my taste. Later on I talked to other people about this question and Guido said: “you could, but would you still want to be after 50 as a 4/6, and it does take while and money before you are” And that sounded more like an answer to/about me personally. And sure, I don’t know what about anything after turning 50.
I don’t even know what I will do next year, especially not since I came across this thing called Human Design 🙂
