One of the things that came up in the year long Transformations set of courses about the 4 Variables and Digestion, Environment, Perspective and Motivation, is of-course some of our habits. And one being sleep, or waking habits. When to go to sleep, how long, or late, to stay awake.

And it is easy to say, that this is our conditioning, ours, of how we live to work from 9 to 5, how our days are scheduled along those hours to make room for when to eat breakfast and when to eat lunch, dinner, when to watch tv, and go to bed again, how long to sleep, and so on.

Everything neatly fixed within certain time frames, every single day, and make a fuss when things are not happening along those lines, those times.

But what is so interesting in my exploration of my own observations, is that we like to call it, our conditioning. As if some outside force is to blame, it makes it easy to use this language, so we can identify an outside source for our behaviour, or for our perceptions of other peoples behaviour.

We become agreed upon victims of this identified outside source, even when we can not actually identify it exactly. Which might even be better for our minds, to not be able to identify what we supposedly are against.

Conditioning, becomes them, they, society, tv and other media, the man, my boss, my friends, my neighbours, ‘those bastards from that other country’, and so on.

But the only one conditioning us, to do anything at any time, is we ourselves, us.

It is me, who decides and determines, with my mind, when to eat, when to sleep, when to play, when to masturbate, me, and my mind do. Somewhat obscured from sight, but it is I alone, who makes up those rules and how to adhere to them.

How awkward we fake to ‘feel’ when you drop to sleep at 22:00 instead of 02:00, and then wake up at 04:00 for some leisure time again after a good 6 hours of sleep.

Hey, again, even now, ‘good 6 hours of sleep’, there it is again, this judging 6 hours good, and therefor -allowing- ourselves, myself, to behave. Mind said it is good, so then we may, blablafuckingbla.

A subtle yet pervasive scheme going on there, watch it, watch yourself, and check in, with your own self, when or how to do something, or not do them at all, when and if it is correct for you. Not for happy, not for good, not for allowed, not for any -reason-, but for the flabbergasting surprises of what is correct.

Gate 62 of detail, preponderance of the small. Caution, patience and detail produce excellense out of a limitation.

Gate 62 Line 2 Restraint
Exalted: The innate restrictiveness and discipline to comply with and exalt restraint. The discipline necessary for detail work.
Detriment: The intellect stymied by severe restraints tends to anxiety and restlessness. The expression of anxiety and restlessness when faced with detail work.