4/6 Reflector PLL-DLR

August 2013

Moon Blog 39.2

There is this chair that I like.

It started out quite a few months ago, when me and my then-girlfriend figured we’d like a comfy but not big/plush chair near the window, to sit in and read in the sunshine while being able to peek outside. To the sky, the city, the people way downstairs. And maybe even sit in together.

As I pondered what kind of chair, I happened to look online at a second hand website and also the Ikea website, and there it was, the Nolmyra. A perfect little light chair, but seemingly very comfortable and high enough for comfy reading and peeking outside, and perhaps even big enough for two. At least it was open enough on the sides.

But, it was not available, it could not even be ordered, and was not in store in any of the 12 Dutch shops. ‘How very odd, to have a chair on their website’, I thought, ‘but to be completely unavailable.’
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Moon Blog 41.4

hmm, seeing, insight. Unsure how to describe. There was a situation, which turned out quite heated from both sides, but were both rescued from doing what was said. In the aftermath people commented on how (again both) kept wallowing in it, kept talking about it the present tense, as if it was something really important. And people should take sides and everything. What great injustices were being done and so on, and on, and on, and on. On automatic pilot, running through it over and over and over again. It gave life meaning, and purpose, identity, righteousness, to boldly go where no man, yadda yadda yadda. The commenting of the people in the aftermath, to on the one hand yes, it did happen, but, no, to myself make such a big deal out of it and get over myself. To grow a pair and just ff-ing drop it, because there was no such importance to it, unless one wants to be a drama-queen. Unless one likes playing the most Oscar winning attempt of being a grandiose victim of all the injustice that life can ever throw at someone. ‘The Prima Donna Originale Deluxe Special Edition’
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MoonBlog 54.6

about 2 years ago I had a breakthrough regarding a (one) victimization pattern I experienced for decades. And as patterns go I felt bugged by it over and over and over again, but I could not see it, could not see the pattern, nor the inherent victimization, let alone my part in it and even me grabbing hold of it, and using it as something to even identify my life in and with. And it also really took a good 6 months from the start of the lifting of the veil until the final penny dropped.

But, from that moment on, I did not need healing of it anymore/either.

I was instantaneously free. That morning, I walked around free from all that past, from all that hurting, from all the sorrow and history and baggage. It felt so weird !

A call for healing seems like the same old same old to me, it means we are still in the pattern, still in regarding us as victims. Once the victimization stops (of money, of people, of situations) there is no hurt anymore and thus no healing needed.

MoonBlog 5.2

we can talk about which oven I use, you use, Harry uses, we can talk about this recipe or that one, but in the end it all comes down to making the cookies, and tasting them, digesting them, and even after, the whole cycle of cookies and you.

One day u will commit to your cookies, or not, and find out how u experience them, so u can share about the experience and not about your wavering anymore, not about your trying, or half-assed attempts. Not about this made up reason or that one.

You take the plunge and try it out, for yourself, and no one else, and observe what happens, as you go along. (on applying Strategy&Authority)

Moon Blog 59.5

Rarely do we seek the real breakthrough out of our misery, our sufferings and hurts. Rarely do we seek the Guide that can help to actually find the door through. And come up with all kinds of excuses like: this Guide is too brutal, too honest, too direct, too expensive, it’s a man, it’s a woman, all kinds of excuses we come up with to not go there, to not find the actual solution.

As we want to find solace, we seek comfort, and understanding -in- our drama, not end the drama all together, that would be too scary. Too real. We want people to listen to our story and nod in understanding, while saying ‘there, there now’.
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