Conclusions
So the back story to this ‘overview’ is this
When I was in Puna India at the OSHO International Meditation Resort in 2011 a few things happened, but one was where some person in a authority/hierarchy position demanded more from me than I was willing (or able), and I dropped quickly, easy and deeply, into victimization mode.
There was a lot of back and forth on it, and besides this person being a manipulative vindictive control monkey, I was deeply identified and even felt powerful in my victimization, and wore it as a costume, exclaiming and lamenting loudly.
Until, after quite a few days of me doing this, finally someone said something about it, about just that. That even though yes, it happened, it was all true and all, but now, ‘move the fuck on’.
It took me at least 6 months, already back home, before I could even see what was said and meant. The veil of it, the identification and justifications were laid upon so thick, it took quite a while to dawn on me.
But, then I did, did see, and started seeing with new eyes, and started seeing more veils, not just my own, but some of others’ too, and some very clearly and loudly so. As if some neon-lights were switched on *blink blink blink*.
Seeing myself and others’ mental identification stories, has helped me free myself from these, more to come, maybe/perhaps?