You Don’t Know
“Is there anyone here who has experienced, and made it through apathy and prolonged depression during their HD experiment?”
when I smoked pot & hash every day, when I took LSD for the better part of a year, when I was a severe alcoholic, when I was homeless, when I was in prison, when I came out of prison, when I was single. When my mind was running the shitshow.
But never so much anymore since/during my HD experiment. But my life has been radically changed (well one could call it that, I kinda like it, so the comparison is just words) cause I occupy my left/active brain as much as possible with things that I enjoy.
Tinkering my ass off, with guitars, guitar effect pedals, amplifiers, modding them, tweaking and nerding. Since almost 2 years I got a 3d printer now THAT can keep you occupied !! 😀
and am looking forward to tinker with a cnc milling machine next, besides the motorbike(s) tinkering I always did.
“Sjef, why does your living room look like a barn?” she asked.
Because I can !
And, I only watch what I download myself, ie movies/tv-shows. And when I travel I take a vaccin if required. I no longer occupy my mind with the world, and it’s supposed issues, but mine only. I have become much more myopic, not even on purpose per se, not even as a mental strategy, but I do know it works for me.
Am I chasing only happy states? No, in the least, my daily life is not easy, but I know what I want to do with it, now, with the opportunities I now have. If I win the lottery those may change, but for now, I’m pretty damn good.
And then a few days of relapse, deep darkness, sadness. Mind projecting me all these things again. Ah well, time for another nap, or perhaps to level the bed once more (technical 3d printing term) 😉
Make/have dinner, clean the house/barn, pffrt (blowing raspberry)
you know, I consider my life, and how it’s run, as a job. And I love my job, and I love me. So I try to do a good job. And work on it every single day. What is correct for me, what can I or can I not do/have/be today, enjoyable long term strategies planned, but adjusted as need be. Me, my life, one job. Every day.
Some times it is nap day, sometimes it is not ?
feed me Seymour ?
Human Design Gate 47 Realising Oppression
“The 47th game oppression in the ajna center pointed upwards to the head center, to its harmonic gate the 64 before completion, forming the channel of abstraction and design of mental activity and clarity.
Now the 47th gate is the gate of realizing, realizing, but it is a gate that is placed under tremendous pressure.
The head center, the center above the center that it is pointed at, is pressure center and so the 47th gate has the pressure on it to try to make sense of the abstract.
Now what that means literally, is to try to make sense of whatever stored memory is available and it is this stored memory that becomes the source of the pressure on the 47.
Unlike the logical process that deals with patterns that can be worked with, that the 47th gate, the abstract process is always trying to make sense out of experiential snippets, bits and pieces of experiential memory and the 47th gate oppression is described as a restrictive and adverse state as a result of internal weakness or external strength or both.
Now think about that, because that’s, that’s quite difficult to grasp, that is this is a restrictive and adverse state.
This process of trying to make sense out of things is restrictive and it is a result of internal weakness or external strength or both.
Now what is this adverse state?
The whole thing about the process of trying to make sense out of things is that you never truly get to a resolution.
In many ways trying to make sense out of something is trying to come to a point of clarity emotionally and the abstract process and the emotional process are deeply connected to each other.
Everything about the process of making sense out of things, is very similar to the process of coming to clarity, that is the common denominator is time, time.
If one has the 47th gate and it is part of a definition, in other words that the head and ajna center are going to be defined, then there is a consistent process at work.
But it’s very very difficult if one just simply has the 47th gate and it’s in an undefined ajna center, you know, then it’s very difficult because you don’t have the opportunity to consistently, over time, try to make sense out of the same thing from different experiential memories.
Whenever you look at the first line you look at the foundation of a hexagram, the first line of the 47 is taking stock.
It says; the ability in times of hardship, there’s already a presumption of the difficulty of what it is to try to make sense out of things, the hardship to concentrating on eradicating negative factors that led to the oppression realizing that negative thoughts have to be eradicated.
Now one of the most important things for the abstract mind is to discover positiveness, it’s very important for the abstract mind.
The tendency of the abstract mind is to be littered with negative thoughts without clarity, without certainty, without absolute fact.
The process of realization is very very difficult and of course because there are so many different ways that one can interpret experience, that it’s full of difficulties and it’s full of negative thoughts.
The detriment is the delusion of seeing oppression, is exclusively external and this is about the sense that the world is against you.
So you can see right away, that if you’re carrying the 47th gate and that you are not self, which means that your mind is your inner authority, then your inner authority is going to be deeply driven by its negative thoughts and it’s going to be deeply driven by the sense that one is fighting against everything and everyone and obviously that is something that can be very difficult.
The great value of the 47th gate is that because life is for humanity an experiential process, we need its capacity to try to realize and make sense out of experience, but as outer authority, not as inner authority.
As inner authority making sense becomes an enormous burden and it misdirects the life.” – Ra Uru Hu