fuck off

D.A.R.V.O.

Deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender (DARVO) is a tactic a person may use to deflect responsibility onto an individual they have abused. DARVO (an acronym for “deny, attack, and reverse victim & offender”) is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. Some researchers indicate that it is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers.

Process
As the acronym suggests, the common steps involved are:
1. The abuser denies the abuse ever took place
2. When confronted with evidence, the abuser then attacks the person that was/is being abused (and/or the person’s family and/or friends) for attempting to hold the abuser accountable for their actions, and finally
3. The abuser claims that they were/are actually the victim in the situation, thus reversing the positions of victim and offender. It often involves not just playing the victim but also victim blaming.

Origins
The acronym and the analysis it is based on are the work of the psychologist Jennifer Freyd, who wrote about it in 1997. The first stage of DARVO, denial, involves gaslighting. Freyd writes:
… I have observed that actual abusers threaten, bully and make a nightmare for anyone who holds them accountable or asks them to change their abusive behavior. This attack, intended to chill and terrify, typically includes threats of law suits, overt and covert attacks on the whistle-blower’s credibility, and so on. The attack will often take the form of focusing on ridiculing the person who attempts to hold the offender accountable. […] The offender rapidly creates the impression that the abuser is the wronged one, while the victim or concerned observer is the offender. Figure and ground are completely reversed. […] The offender is on the offense and the person attempting to hold the offender accountable is put on the defense.

Usage and effectiveness
Freyd stated that DARVO is frequently used and effective, although the number of people who are inclined to believe a DARVO response decreases once they understand the tactic. However, the examination and determination of who is using DARVO proves to be difficult until the abuser and the victim in a case are clearly established. An example of the difficulty was seen in the Depp v. Heard case.

“I went from wanting to fight for Sjef to wanting to fight Sjef.”

I say, she initiated everything from her own mind, starting on feb 12, 2021 with:

“ok new question, are you interested in a romantic relationship with me?”

a lot has happened, and most if not all just turned out strange if not weird, including her visiting me. We each walked away a few times.

Until all of a sudden, she planned for me visiting her, again, as in, planned to make it happen, planned. October 1st 2023:

“The will is being initiated to get u on a plane to come to meet here. Only if/when it is correct for u. I don’t know if you need an American passport, but the money is available for u if needed and it’s correct, you can keep the money if not.”

I can’t come to US, nor do I need a US passport for this, can probably never get one. Each citizen of each country has a passport of their respective country, unless they go through a whole lot of work and effort to change citizenship to that other country. And then…

“will write tomorrow about plan (for visit)”

I replied: “Please do not email me, at all, anymore. Not now, not in a year, not in 10 years.” The end…? Right? Right!

(ofcourse) 15 days later she writes:

“Can i come to you in the netherlands I’m sorry about before “

So I think it is ‘stupid question day’ today and reply: “Can you send 500 bucks? Today?”
One of her many replies is:

“no I don’t have 500 bucks to give”

So I say: “375?”
After some back and forth, she sends me 375 and then becomes angry. Pffrt. At least silence, for now….Right? Right!

Januari 4th 2024:

“Hi. Wanna talk?”

So another payment link is sent…The end…? Right? Right!

Nutso subtle difference

Outer Authority

Sjef just said literally whatever he thought out loud all the time. And Sjef goes online in the hd community and literally pretends he doesn’t do that.

See, another funny bunny mixing things up, with a fucking loud mouth no less. And using THEIR mind to tell you what using mind is about (!!) It does not get any funnier/sad/yum/retarded.
Mind, is -not- the enemy
Expressing the mind is not wrong
Using mind as Inner Authority, is, wrong, incorrect, not-self, nutso self.
Using mind as Outer Authority or means of communication, is, not wrong, correct, self, no self.

actually, the reflector is great –

On the interwebs I read:

(txt file copy here: 20230207.txt)

So I would have preferred to have this on a vlog, but will type instead.

This has taken months of looking at things from angles, literally. From determination, to cognition, environment, motivation, to view. From looking at things about the other, to seeing things that I had learned about myself through things I had seen through other people around. Through Ra audio, through things about Projector’s, invitations, being asked, through seeing the transits without looking them up through other people during the time I had visited in the Netherlands.

We can look at things for 20 years and still be wrong, I see people do this often, as if the length or depth of looking has any bearing on the results of the looking, or it qualifies as more better or something.

And from really looking at my thoughts, and also, what the body was like in the Netherlands, what Sjef was like, what the Reflector was like – how i felt there, and how things looked from the outside, when no longer being in the Netherlands. What i actually looked like, when no longer focused on the other.

We can only look at ourselves, and how -we perceive- the other, but we can never say how someone else ‘was like’. Cause we are not them, we can only interpret, so it is always far more nuanced.

What actually happened is my design received an invitation to a place in which i actually couldn’t experience any time in my own aura. I was told when going to the Netherlands, there would be two rooms. And there were/are two rooms in that apartment. But the apartment is so small, that there is no place in that apartment really, where people can be outside of the aura of another. The apartment is literally for one human.

Is that what ‘actually happened’? Or did you interpret it as such…?

Now, I can’t say for sure that Sjef actually knew that. Because Sjef explained how he actually had a girlfriend live in that apartment with him in the past.

twice

Here’s the thing, physical things like walls, aren’t capable of separating auras. Auras are roughly 5 feet all around the physical body, outward – in every direction.

I’d say it’s rather 10 feet or about 3 meters, ‘2 arms lengths on either side’ makes for double, easy. And of course (!) varying upon the person, the day, the mood, or whatever else aura size may influence (no one really knows), a quote:
In other words, the aura breathes. And it’s very important not to see it as something that is static. It’s not like you’re moving in a fixed shell, like you’re inside an egg or something. You really have to understand that this is something that is breathing. More than that, that breathing fluctuation can go from being quite large-so for example, if you stand up and you place your arms up in the air away from you, spreading your arms as far as they can so you’ve got your full wingspan, if you double the length of that distance, twice an arm length on either side going all the way around you in every direction, that’s approximately the maximum potential.” – Ra Uru Hu
from http://humandesignsystem.blogspot.com/2005/07/auras.html

But I have shared my apartment plan, either like this

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