July 2015

MoonBlog 58.4 Focusing

Yesterday I did a Google search on ‘Human Design Reflector’ and found some interesting writings. Most are a mere repeat of the irrelevant, meaningless and inaccurate number of Reflectors, and several on the false assumption what Reflectors are supposed -to do-

Not being. But doing, acting, playing a role, having purpose, with meaning, intent, goals.


Reading sentences beginning with ‘Reflectors (they) are here to…’

-‘play a vital role’
-‘experience wonder and awe.’
-‘transcend what most of us experience as a personal agenda.’
-‘“mirror” or reflect the health of the community around them.’
-‘be critics, be guides, be judges, be sensors. be those that can truly sense what is going on around you.’

All of these make a turn-around on a presumption, but, it is not what the Reflector is ‘here to –do-, it is a happening, it is something that occurs naturally without any doing, from Living their Design, as one applies their Strategy & moves with their Authority.

These sentences give the impression:
• there is something specific (and quite diverse I must add) that Reflectors -need- to do, need to be like, and behave accordingly.
• if you do none of these made up and sometimes fantastical traits and abilities, you suck, you are not a good little Reflector, clearly not in awe enough buddy…
• of just another homogenization by people that do not think for themselves and simply regurgitate information, or hash that information into new words (with often even more ridiculous/disasterous results), but are simply saying the same thing: do this or else.
• the writers are not observers and experiencers but live in the results of their mind’s (illogical) constructs.
• that this is their impression, their thoughts on how Reflectors -should- behave, from their own limited imagination, and therefor “I sell you that”. Prolonging the confusion and misunderstanding of and about Reflectors.
• that any feedback will only result in better sounding sentences but not ever the experience and observations, defended as if it were/must be/has to be.

Another Reflector (Andy Pavarini) writes here:
“Since I Reflect you I will not condition you… that is what you are trying to remove (conditioning). Go to a traditional counselor that conditions your aura in session and agree to quit smoking only to walk outside the door an hour later and you light up. It is not your fault… how would you know?”

But here is the thing, a Reflector can condition you, and can actually be a great conditioner (ask any current or former lover, or business partner of a Reflector, or their children). The fact that a Reflector can close their aura to the other, and can have the conditioning effect of others slide off the Reflector does not make that have any reverse effect in or on the other (Type). That is just a mistaken mental calculation that if this is true than that is true, a wrong conclusion based on a false assumption. It is magical thinking turned into a belief. It does sound really nice, but is not true.

Oh and if you’re in the business of “trying to remove (conditioning)”, seek another framework/profession because unless you kill everyone on Earth, and laser zap the planets (and a couple of stars) away, it cannot be done…

Regarding homogenized descriptions of Reflectors, I have a thought exercise, so bear with me (or not):
Someone with definition, even if they have different gates activated in a defined center (hanging gates) that center is still defined, so there are comonalities we can speak of, the definition is fixed, the center will operate in a fixed way. Yes, no? The emphasis on being (correct) for any defined Type seems to be on their activations. On what -is- colored in.
With Reflectors however, there is not one thing fixed, -except- their openness (!). But each one has different gate activations (dormant potentials), and many, many none-activated gates. The common denominators are nearly non existant. So perhaps be open to Reflectors to differ also from each other, as from other Types.

Several Reflectors in the same room will not pick up on the same things within that room. This Reflector will not reflect the health of that community as the other one does. They simply can not. An illusion to think and even hope for that. This Reflector might be in the wrong place with the wrong people during these Transits, while that other Reflector experiences something else completely and may be in the right place, at the right time with the right people.
I think the overal desire and act of homogenizing Reflectors to behave this or that way, narrow and fixed, is a testament of the misunderstanding on the nature of the Reflector.

The Reflector is here to be, and sometimes they will observe things, and sometimes they simply won’t, can’t.

An interesting read with much more nuance than usual (while some generalizations remain) you can find here:

Read more

Equilateral Pentahedron

“Now, what we know about crystals of consciousness is crystals of consciousness are five-faceted.” – Ra Uru Hu, Rave Cosmology, Brahma’s Night and Beyond

So I thought to construct a 3D model of a 5 sided shape, that has equal sides and equal angles, curious to see what it looks like. Ra does not say they had to be equilateral, while in my head I could –almost- picture that shape.

When doing an online search what usually comes up is this:


which indeed have 5 sides, but are not equal in size nor angle, I decided to buy some clay and try to make a round ball, and then put 5 pins in, equally spaced from each other, to perhaps after flatten the spaces around the pin, and see what kind of surfaces come out of this. Which was a disaster, I could not figure out how to space them correctly evenly from each other, my brain and knowledge of mathematics failed me deeply. More online searches spoke of many, many shapes, even called similar, but were usually 10 or 12 sided.

So another idea: buy 5 colors clay, shape them into cones and push them together into a ball:
Read more

MoonBlog 24.1 The sin of omission

Hier is een beschrijving van mijn ervaring voor Human Design en sinds het leren kennen en toepassen van mijn Strategie en Autoriteit. Nu kan ik alleen schrijven vanuit mijn ervaringen en perceptie als iemand zonder enige definitie, of heel specifiek als iemand met een ongedefinieerd G-center, waar dit stukje over gaat.

Voor ik Human Design leerde kennen, laat staan toepassen, als ik nu terugkijk na iets meer dan 7 jaren mijn design te leven, is dat ik destijds vooral op zoek was naar wie ik nu eigenlijk was, en hoe ik me moest gedragen, en wat ik nu eigenlijk moest doen om mezelf lekker te voelen, lekker in m’n vel bedoel ik dan.

En dit was een grote drijfveer voor veel van m’n beslissingen, ook al had ik dit toen niet direct door. Ik probeerde van alles om dit on-weten, om deze ogenschijnlijke puzzel op te lossen. Ik voelde me vaak overweldigt door de vele opties en kon vaak geen wegwijs worden, welke nu de juiste waren, voor mij.

Ik was zoekende, en had wel een vaag gevoel waar ik naar op zoek was, wat een mogelijk doel was, een gevoel zelfs waar mogelijk de schoen wrong, maar helemaal helder had ik dat eigenlijk ook weer niet. En die vaagheid, ook van vrienden en bekenden, van de maatschappij, of kranten en televisie die ik zeker toen met mijn grote honger naar het snappen en weten tot me nam, alle adviezen en tips, maakte het eigenlijk alleen maar -nog- vager.

Hoe meer ik dacht te weten, hoeveel ik ook las, hoe minder ik het gevoel had dat ik t ook echt snapte. Dat ik er ook echt iets mee kon in mijn leven. Ook via kennissen hoorde ik over allerlei dingen om te doen, of dit nu yoga was, of meditatie of deze guru, of deze religie. Zaken die vaak best interessant leken, maar me toch ook vaak afstoten omdat ik al snel wel doorhad dat deze niet voor mij waren, of dat ik hierin niet -mijn- antwoord zou vinden. Hoe plezierig sommigen ervaringen ermee ook waren, wat ik zocht werd er niet mee beantwoord en bleef ik na een leuke of boeiende ervaring toch weer met datzelfde knagende gevoel achter.

Echter sinds het leren begrijpen wat Human Design is, en het zien hoe ik functioneer, hoe -normaal- het is voor mij, om -niet- te weten wat mijn richting is, om daar geen besef van te moeten hoeven hebben, ben ik eindelijk meer tot rust gekomen. En, heb ik over tijd geleerd om hier ook vertrouwen in te hebben, dat dit voor mij zelfs helemaal correct is.

Uiteraard niet zonder slag of stoot, en nog af en toe voel ik twijfel opkomen, mijn mind die opnieuw in de stress schiet over dit, en over dat. Het niet meer hoeven snappen wie ik ben, zorgt voor een dieper weten. Dat ik ok ben, en dat ik me juist helemaal niet anders hoef te gedragen, dat ik prima mezelf kan zijn zonder dit weten. Dat dit onweten juist -is- wie ik ben, en hoe ik functioneer. En… dat ik dus ook echt helemaal niemand anders hoef na te doen, of hoef op te volgen, om mezelf te zijn.

En heel langzaam, die gewaarwording, dat ervaren van hoe correct dat eigenlijk is, geeft de rust die ik zocht, geeft dat lekker in m’n vel voelen met mezelf.

Zonder enige externe invloed of handeling.

Dit is voor mij in een notedop, de grote waarde van Human Design, dat je leert inzien hoe correct je eigenlijk bent, hoe je optimaal functioneert als jezelf. Soms met snappen, maar zeker ook zonder. Dat deze praktische kennis over ons mechanische functioneren, hele diepe en verreikende consequenties heeft. Dat echt enorm veel vragen helemaal wegvallen, zonder dat ze beantwoordt zijn (!) Ze zijn niet meer van belang. En -dat- geeft enorm veel rust, ook als ik ns niet lekker in m’n vel zit.
Read more

MoonBlog 13.3 Pessimism

I feel nowhere more near to any waking up, as to when I was about 12-13 years old and cried my eyes out and lamented to the people in the room to want to be grown up.
No one asked precisely why I would want that or seek the cause of the depth of that desire, but I knew then and still do now, it was because I could make my own damn choices and not be so dependent on others, even parents. Or maybe especially them, at least back then.

I feel deeper and deeper aware these days, some 33 years later, aware of what life is about, as I tap into my memories of my past and all that I witnessed and learned. Things I experienced, for real, things I imagined, for real too, things that made sense, in the long deep grinding time consuming contemplations, years went by, sometimes crawling sometimes flying.

But still nowhere pushing through, punching through any veil.

Playing with both the deeper explorations of duality through this Human Design system, as well as exploring this otherworldy space of non-duality.

I’ve always been very reluctant of any kind of system, or teaching, person, guru, modality, religion or belief. That is, from others. My own ofcourse were carefully grown and then groomed, to flourish over time. I’ve always been quite contemplative, and sometimes feel I’m onto something, and then regularly fall back into unknowing, ununderstanding, not comprehending, not being able to tie the knots or connect the dots, over and over and over again.

I met, people into, Osho (Bhagwan) twice in my life but never felt drawn to follow these people to follow this guru kind of person, and his/their teachings and rules, until a third time only 5 years ago, I then ended up visiting the Resort in Puna India for about 3 months and had an interesting time, started reading his books and generally like what is said. Generally. I am not the kind of person to adhere to communal endeavors. I’d love to visit there again, and perhaps say hi to some of the people I met there, and meet some new ones, but he, nor anyone else is my one and only go to kind of inspiration. Or shuffler of my mental deck
Read more