4/6 Reflector PLL-DLR

MoonBlog

Moon Blog 20.1

A little history lesson here.

In the other Reflector group a while ago, some heated debates occurred, some with me, but all of a sudden to the fact it was an Open Group. Open for non Reflectors, as it has always been since it was made, but who reads the about group message that you see upon admission right?

So this became a huge problem, and Sabrina was so nice to make a new, closed group, only for Reflectors. The backlash she got from doing that without consulting them, whoever them are ! She just saw the call, the desire, wherever it might have come from/originated, and felt the push to act upon and did. She made a Reflector only group. It got populated with people.

In the mean time, some individual arguments continued, people started blocking me, I started blocking others. All so we don’t have to be triggered anymore by each others writings. I learned to embrace it.
Read more

Moon Blog 27.4

In comparing with others we always do good and others always do something bad. Only to ourselves do we deem ourselves always and only bad, all of sudden the good is gone. Bring in a comparison and we’re back at us doing good and others doing something bad.

On and on and on and on.

The notion of doing this is good, and doing that is bad, is just a notion. It is not real, don’t listen to it, don’t make decisions through it, and see how your life changes.

Moon Blog 42.3

Sometimes one learns a technique, and applies it occasionally or perhaps everywhere, and might even become extremely good in the application. But the technique is not you, it is not who you are. The ritual of exercising the technique, however well performed, is not who you are. Nor is being a bad performer of it, who you are.

Drop the identification with exercising any ritual or technique, and find who is doing it.

Moon Blog 57.1

it is interesting to reflect back on pre Human Design, and since.

Before, my mind would want to try to understand something, and only if it did understand, it would try out something. If my mind was unconvinced, nothing would happen with any information or knowledge.

Now this has been a great protection also, because there is so much nonsense flying around in the world, and all sorts of people telling all sorts of things, and some quite pushy, which sometimes confused me even more. So I either went on wrong paths (copious amounts of LSD for instance was one of my more active choices to investigate) or closed myself off from people or things

I also realize now, that if I did understand something, I would try it out, but only once, or maybe twice. And fail. And fail over and over and over again, because I would only try it out, once, or maybe twice. As a baby learning to ride a bicycle, or cooking dinner.
Read more

Moon Blog 29.2

slowly one eye opens, then the other, as I ponder on the dream I just had, feeling the warm bed as I turn to my side and enjoy, when suddenly

*BAM*

open root kicking in and my thoughts are;
put on pants,
go to the toilet,
start you computer,
do this, do that,
do it now,
do it like this,
do it quick,
COME ON !

The moment of waking up, feeling so gentle and warm, cuddly are evaporated in an instant
Go, do, do, go, now, do, quickly, go, do !
Read more

Moon Blog 63.4

The wolf is not play-acting the wolf, it just is a wolf, it does not play out the archetype wolf. Why do humans play out archetypes; the businessman, the marrying maiden? These archetypes are just another layer of mental construct. Businessman is not genes, it is an ego construct, a mental fabrication, to behave in a certain way, to identify, and be identified

And we chase systems which have better and better descriptions of the archetypes. Some more narrow, some more precise, others more vague, some kinda loose, but all descriptions of archetypes, as we focus and lock in on the believing of those descriptions of mental constructs.

A better described archetype only aids us in keeping us locked in those archetypes and the whole construct we have ourselves build around it, and are still building. Some systems combine a whole bunch of archetypes to make up for the fact that you are not just one, archetype.

You, are not an archetype, unless it is called human, as your finger points at the moon
Read more

Moon Blog 10.6

Isn’t having that question blocking your natural flow?

To worry about this, or that, as you stop, in the middle of the river to ponder on it. To try and figure it out, as the river flows on, and you stopped, your questions becoming more important than your journey. The journey you are on.

How do I do this, or not do that, how, why, when, what?

These questions becoming rocks in the river of life. Hard, difficult, as you place all these rocks in your own flow. No one cares, none of it matters, but you continue to place them in front of you, where they become obstacles in your path.

You become engaged and even obsessed with needing to navigate the rocks and subsequent currents, you, yourself created.

I wish this, I don’t want that, rocks, rocks, rocks. As you try to control, control life by asking these questions, by demanding an answer. But who is listening but you? Who is asking but you? Who cares other than you?

And why do you care so much about these questions and answers, as the river passes on, by.

What a job, to acquire, carry and place all these rocks, in your very own life, in your river, in your flow. Read more

Moon Blog 10.5

Who are we to decide what is correct for others to do, or not do?

Who are we to tell doctors and teachers what to change?

If we do not like what they do or want, and want them to do what we want, are we not the same?

Are we not the same as them doing to others, when we want them to change?

Be it children or a developer, there is always a logical reason.

But who are we to meddle, who are we to decide what someone should or should not do?

Why are we in opposition?

Why are we in constant opposition with things in our lives but out of our hands?

This is not about apathy, this is about authority.

who are you? Who are you to even protest? What are you protesting for?

With a poem, a song, a riot, or a gun, who are you to want to change the world?
by force (!)
Read more

Moon Blog 48.2

as we seek ways to relieve our discomforts, as we seek ways to not sit with our muddy waters, it is our ego that is stil in the drivers seat, is stil in control. Your mind fucking you over, steering you clear of what needs protecting. But you don’t really know if that is actually true, because you’ve never gone there. Really. We believe it needs protecting, as we consider ourselves hurt little children, and in some ways we are, hurt, little, children.

You learn to use tricks, low level magic, to try and avoid the unavoidable, as life keeps steering you back into the mud. The momentary sigh of relief, as you scrape and wash off the few specs of mud that got to you, while your life is already preparing the next preamble for your next mud-bath. The quick fix, the quicksilver life, the shallow dip in and shallow dip out, boasting our shallow victories.

Even without using it as a goal, but the youthful rejuvenation is waiting for you. As the mud clings to your skin, attaching to your dead particles, so they can be washed away, scrubbed and rinsed.

If you ever want to be reborn, don’t you first have to actually die…? Then die, first.

Who are you, that which you attach to, is it true, is it trully you?
Read more

MoonBlog 39.5

Weirdos in the mail

In a FB topic I wrote:

“A hanging Gate is a Gate colored in your Chart in an Undefined Center, a Dormant Potential is a Gate colored in your Chart in a Defined Center. Both types of Gates could be on the other side of your Split that Bridges it. The Not-Self not lives or manifests itself in the Openness of ones Chart only, but it is the mind, using your Openness to make decisions that are not correct for you.”

To which this message comes:

Weirdo: “So Sjef, what was you positive contribution to the poor girl whose fucking head you left spinning? Dude you tend to use your gifts on the shadow side.”

Me: *yawn*

Weirdo: “it is that mean, immature, competitive spirit that makes it so difficult to live here. i know you will not get it… however i needed to say it.”

Me: “I was replying to the other person who just blurted out nonsense, I rather have someones head spin then lied to. The rest is really your own black way of thinking bad things about others and really not my issue love, cheers”

After some contemplation I wrote this also:

Me: “So besides seeing people either as victims or as perpetraders, why are you harassing me with something that is your internal issue? Why do you not go inside yourself and find out why you have an issue with someome correcting basic Human Design knowledge? From which authority do you even dare to come and tell someone else what to do, and impose your morals on, in a private message no less? Next time I will report you. If you have a comment on mine, do it publicly. If you have an issue with someome or something, please resolve the issue yourself where it belongs and not pressure someone else to do it for you. This was free lesson, feel free to book an appointment for another session at my regular fee.”

Weirdo: “Maybe it is time to be mature young friend, and see if you can see beyond yourself, and your need to be seen. One must know their audience, to go to lines and channels before someone has had a foundational reading is pure arrogance and truly thoughtless. Also to speak to your elder in such fashion is pure ignorance.”

Weirdo: “BTW nothing to do with morals, just requesting you to not badger people with all your impressive HD knowledge, it tends to push them away.”

Weirdo: “And I do not have these conversations with you publicly, because I know that you do not set out to hurt, embarrass, try to make people feel less than, or make their heads spin. It is just this way you have of being seen, and I will not fuel that.”

 

Just in case some people wonder why I block certain people 😈 😎
(and yes, I mixed up the hanging gate & dormant potential there)
Read more

Moon Blog 39.3

as long as you see evil as bad, as long as you only seek to attach yourself to the light/good in people while adhering to or applying a dualistic system like Human Design, you are ignoring one complete half of the equation. That is 50% you deem unfit, faul, bad, yuck, and wish to condemn, ignore, and perhaps even kill.

And where does -your- Strategy & Authority come in?

As long as you even dare calling someone to belong to a sub-species only proves your very own superiority complex, and excludes rather than includes, and thus by creating and holding the divide actively will also never resolve anything.

You will continue to stay in opposition with everything you deem ‘not good’ on a self taught and imposed scale of issues to concern yourself with.

If it smells like excrement, it probably is…

Moon Blog 21.6

Is it perhaps time to consider stop voicing your opposition of the current system, and actively engage working on the one that is correct for you?

I can see the being in opposition draining you, hurting you. Your Facebook walls are overflowing with your hurt, the wailing wall almost. Is that truly what is correct for you to do, to be, to spend your days? To be in opposition with what you don’t like? Were you invited to do so? Or asked, initiated perhaps?

Are you trapped in this mode of reaction to life as you see it, in a narrowed down view of life and living? Is the being in oppostion something you crave as an addiction? Knee-jerking around pretending to dance?

Moon Blog 55.6

Life (the Maia), according to Human Design, is about Duality.
When do we accept and embrace the darkness, for real? Not just play with it, at parties or in conversations, but embody the yin and yang fully, in us, in others, in life.

Hidden or more openly, many people only conceive the lighter/brighter side of life, completely ignoring their other half. While wondering what they need to do differently cause life is still not working for them…

And what would our darker side of life actually look like, that has been hidden for so long?

Is it time for a Human Design Yin Group?

Moon Blog 56.4

Remember, you can only deem yourself worth-less if you compare, only if you compare to and with others. But realize you are the only one who has made the ratings to use to compare in the first place. This is a 3, this is a 5, on a self made up scale of 11.

So basically you’re only competing with yourself.

And even if you ‘objectively’ were indeed a 3 or a 5, there is probably not a whole lot you can do about it anyways either. Sometimes it is healthy to discern where you are at, but not to use it to compete with, not even with yourself.

Now, what would the comparison be like if you were alone on the planet? Who would you compare yourself to or with? The comparison is gone, and the whole notion of worth-less-ness is gone, evaporated *poof*

Now continue to live like that
Read more

Moon Blog 52.4

The thing is, people want to bond with you in their ways, but you can’t let that happen. You can’t compromise for what they want. You have to bond in your way and yours alone. Otherwise you’d be following their ways to hell and back, living their lives and their bonds, that can not ever be correct for you. For who you actually are. If the bond happens on it’s own accord, great, if not, well…

It is about being effortlessly, about being you, without the friction. Without any agendas, without molding yourself into whatever shape or form for others.

Or even for yourself !
Read more

Moon Blog 37.3

I find it hard sometimes not to join in the clucking and cackling of mind-farts, when clearly silence is key, for me.

Reading these mental insights and breakthroughs, that I write myself sometimes (oftentimes? 🙂 ) too, only adding to the mindfuck dreamstate we all keep ourselves in.

bla bla cluck cackle, bla

I distract, you distract, we distract, nous distractons, vous distractez, ils distractont
Read more

Moon Blog 42.1

“Help, is there a Reflector in the room?”

hurry hurry,
hurry,
rush,
hurry,
hurry,
hurry to the store,
hurry back from the store,
hurry to make dinner,
hurry to eat dinner,
hurry from the table,
hurry to the tv,
hurry to sleep,
hurry to wake up,
hurry to the toilet,
hurry off the toilet,
hurry to shower,
ok,
then not so much hurry to get out from under there.

So is showering the new solution, the solution we’ve overlooked for people with the Open Undefined Root?

Moon Blog 28.2

HappinezGuidoSjef

Last Wednesday I gave an Introduction to Human Design for a small group of people, and yesterday I assisted an Analist at a ‘mindstyle’ magazine Festival with about 20 mini/intro-readings each.

And each time in the beginning of me speaking, there is a tension, a nervousness and even plain fear/scare and within the first 2 minutes I stumble, on my words, or even blank out. So different to work with a group then just one person. I notice I want to connect and interact with the other, and I go deep to experience the other, so I can relate, so I can reflect them, so I use their behavior/experience to interact with. Which is impossible in a group it seems, for me.

So then I shield-up, or bubble-up and while still being able to see them, and interact with them, I don’t need the other anymore to do that, I stop feeling into them as a basis for my own behavior, I stop identifying myself with the experience I have of them, and I restart, I start to talk again, and all of a sudden it just flows from me. I found it really helps to voice that I am nervous with them, for them, that I need a moment to find my bearing. And once I do find it, in detachment, then my communicative abilities come out, and I can see them from my bubble and play with that, interact, make a joke or a comment about what I see/perceive, ask a question, but only after I have disconnected my experience from theirs.
Read more

Moon Blog 18.4

It’s interesting to see and notice how many people ask question based on their own assumption, and therefor trick themselves in not finding the answer. One of the more seen and used trick is the mentioning of needing this or that, or claiming to have needed this or that comment, or person, or action.

But where is that need situated, where is that need felt, but perhaps more importantly, what triggers this experience of a need in the first place? What, triggers, it? Is it not the mind to begin with? Is it not our mental insecurity to experience a need for this or that?

When I/me/we say: I needed that cup of tea, or I needed this/that/other, are we not seeking something outside of ourselves to escape the experience we’re in, the one we feel insecure about? I need that motorbike ride to feel better, but why are you not feeling good in the first place, where does that ill-felt experience come from?
Read more

Moon Blog 62.2

I’m clearing my mind, and its process is quite benign

I’m not asking my questions, anymore. Oh I still have plenty of them, some quite hilarious, some are great, and they are all, still, my questions. But I no longer seek answers to them. Nor seek to share them with you. At least, not for answering. Because the answers will always come to me, over time, regardless of me being with them, or without them. Regardless of me using them in conversations to pass the time of our togetherness.

However much or little effort I put into them, into asking or answering them, they will come, or not.

Or not

And that’s the result of living life as it is, just as it is. To have questions but not necessarily ask them. And certainly not have them answered !

The mind no longer in panic, no longer addicted to questioning, while still being able to ponder and wonder about so many things. Stepping out of the treadmill of prime-time Q&A, the great distractor.

But to call the result silence would be a misnomer, there is no actual silence within, me, but it has become quiet-er. From a run-down badly maintained treadmill loopty-loop with an obese giant running in it, deafening with each heavy step in its relentless pace, non-stop go-around, to a gentle rippling stream of ice-cold mountain water.

Clear as day
Read more

Moon Blog 39.2

There is this chair that I like.

It started out quite a few months ago, when me and my then-girlfriend figured we’d like a comfy but not big/plush chair near the window, to sit in and read in the sunshine while being able to peek outside. To the sky, the city, the people way downstairs. And maybe even sit in together.

As I pondered what kind of chair, I happened to look online at a second hand website and also the Ikea website, and there it was, the Nolmyra. A perfect little light chair, but seemingly very comfortable and high enough for comfy reading and peeking outside, and perhaps even big enough for two. At least it was open enough on the sides.

But, it was not available, it could not even be ordered, and was not in store in any of the 12 Dutch shops. ‘How very odd, to have a chair on their website’, I thought, ‘but to be completely unavailable.’
Read more

MoonBlog 54.6

about 2 years ago I had a breakthrough regarding a (one) victimization pattern I experienced for decades. And as patterns go I felt bugged by it over and over and over again, but I could not see it, could not see the pattern, nor the inherent victimization, let alone my part in it and even me grabbing hold of it, and using it as something to even identify my life in and with. And it also really took a good 6 months from the start of the lifting of the veil until the final penny dropped.

But, from that moment on, I did not need healing of it anymore/either.

I was instantaneously free. That morning, I walked around free from all that past, from all that hurting, from all the sorrow and history and baggage. It felt so weird !

A call for healing seems like the same old same old to me, it means we are still in the pattern, still in regarding us as victims. Once the victimization stops (of money, of people, of situations) there is no hurt anymore and thus no healing needed.

MoonBlog 5.2

we can talk about which oven I use, you use, Harry uses, we can talk about this recipe or that one, but in the end it all comes down to making the cookies, and tasting them, digesting them, and even after, the whole cycle of cookies and you.

One day u will commit to your cookies, or not, and find out how u experience them, so u can share about the experience and not about your wavering anymore, not about your trying, or half-assed attempts. Not about this made up reason or that one.

You take the plunge and try it out, for yourself, and no one else, and observe what happens, as you go along. (on applying Strategy&Authority)

Moon Blog 59.5

Rarely do we seek the real breakthrough out of our misery, our sufferings and hurts. Rarely do we seek the Guide that can help to actually find the door through. And come up with all kinds of excuses like: this Guide is too brutal, too honest, too direct, too expensive, it’s a man, it’s a woman, all kinds of excuses we come up with to not go there, to not find the actual solution.

As we want to find solace, we seek comfort, and understanding -in- our drama, not end the drama all together, that would be too scary. Too real. We want people to listen to our story and nod in understanding, while saying ‘there, there now’.
Read more

Easy

As our minds are in constant panic, we cannot fill it with anything worthwhile, yet. We cannot change direction in our thinking from one day to the next.

First help your mind to let go of this panic state, to let go of needing to solve and resolve everything and anything, constantly, incessantly.

Help your mind become the witness of life, your life. Be gentle, be kind, to your ferocious mind.

Stop repeating everything you once thought to be true, stop affirming that which might not be true anymore. Stop from fixing yourself in certain vibrations of being by the words you utter and the thoughts your inner tape-player has on automated shuffle repeat.

Perhaps your way of doing so is contemplation, meditation, inquiry, dancing, love making, gardening. Something, anything, or nothing to help ease your mind, slowly, slowly.

Maybe read not one book on one subject from only one author all immersed and deeply focused, but read a chapter of this one, and then a chapter of that one. So you can open up your being to anything and all, to not condition yourself too much in this way or that way, this belief or experience or that one.

Open up to all of it, while letting go of anything, and perhaps everything. Slowly, slowly. Gently.

(Moon Blog Gate 15.3)

Monsanto isnt evil, society is, you are

Monsanto is just an availabilionist, an opportunist of -this- society, our society, of which we are all part of. Monsanto is just an archetype (a good one I might add) of the worst kind, of our worst imaginings, of our worst -possible- options witin the society that we all helped create and still create, as it is a non-stop process. By our passive society-ship, by our hunger for more and cheaper, and better, faster, cleaner, prettier, and more covenient. If you are over 30-35 years old and have ever shopped at a supermarket your are part of the reason it ( an archetype like Monsanto) even exists in the first place. Studies have shown (yes statistics and lies) that we are more rich than ever, comparing to how much we have monthly to spend, how much food costs, and the free time we have. The freedom and choices for nonsense are staggering.
Read more

Music was not my first love

For a few days now, I felt a desire to sit and meditate with some intense loud music.

Now, most music played on a proper volume has an effect on me, this is why I tend to be in silence and alone most if not all of the time, which I learned to enjoy more and more as I moved out and away from playing and listening to music all day every day since the age of 16 till 24. It was during my break in France where I found the silent inner space within, and since then I learned that music also can have an adverse affect on me.
Read more

Initiate me

What does it mean to initiate a Reflector?
(not complete, and only about me)

I can tell you that it does not mean to ask a question, wait for a moon/month and expect a result at the other end. Besides seeming like asking an Emotionally Open Sacral being but just waiting longer for the reply.

It also does not mean to daily or every gate change of the Moon bombard the Reflector with your presence or conversation about the subject either, because then it would become conditioning. And you do not want the Reflector to feel conditioned or pressured by your question for an answer, cause that kind of no that you would instigate is one that would crumble houses, and you might lose the Reflectors interest forever.

It is however somehow a mix-match of several things. To indeed ask, and also to inform about the question or the situation, also to check in with the Reflector, to see if more info is needed, or just some sharing about the process, about the question. Without seeking the end result or goal then and there.

Can the Reflector find out if it is comfortable to do this you ask? Is it correct for them to do this thing? Please remember, you asked, so most likely the Reflector has no interest at all in that which you ask. At least this is my experience of most questions I get. They are your questions and usualy about you, not mine, or not about me. So if you seek any response, even a negative one, you better come up with something yummy for me to want to answer in the first place. Stimulate me, massage me. Not my body, my mind (!)

But be carefull not to condition me into answering, keep me interested in your quest, but not so that it feels in any way overwhelming or a nuissance. Don’t push or pull. Find the balance, the finer thread of my sometimes delicate being.

Initiate

me

In my case, an important thing I ask myself on autimatic pilot is: “is it safe?” Is it safe for me to involve myself with your quest(ion) or with the outcome of that question. It might be just a question about the design of your kitchen, or to go with you on a mountain hicking trip. But usually I have so little information or insight to discern this, that the answer will be an immediate ‘no’.

And sometimes the person asking does not trigger me to dive into the question itself at all even, so then I would say ‘no, don’t ask’

And sometimes I realize that the question is not mine to answer at all, but theirs. Which could trigger some grumpyness on my side, or some compassion for their question and situation.

Another thing I ask myself as I ponder your question is: ‘why would I want to do that?’ Now when you ask a question to me, for me, and maybe/perhaps about me, then I seem eager to answer at the flick of a switch. Or when the situation requiers, I indeed note the moons position in the Rave Mandala wheel, and note the next time it will be in that spot again in about 27.5 days, and go into the process of finding out what my true honest answer really is. And occasionaly or regularly during this Lunar month, I come back to the question before me, and review my stance on it there and then, and if or what might have changed since and why. And I might even feel where the process is taking me, to already see the thread of contemplations before me as they work their magic through me. Sometimes I even feel like sitting inside in the energy of that quest(ion) and feeling the flow of where it might all lead to, and if this triggers an inner smile and sense of warmth and comfort, you can bet the answer will become positive sooner or later, and you will see me fal into acceptance of the quest that lay before me a moon ago.

And sometimes, I fall into acceptance of not feeling any urge to do this or that, which can be just as joyous as the yes. To be able to walk away, relieved.

Don’t just ask me, or invite me, or inform me, but initiate me, make an effort to open up the journey for me or with me, and try to realise that none of it is mine.

Addendum: You know that thing you asked me/we talked about 2-3 years ago? I can feel me being in acceptance of being able to do that, now.

Addendum: https://www.mcha.nl/2018/07/11/moonblog-12-3-2/

MoonBlog 26.2

A while ago, Nisarg mentioned I could have a look in Pune for doing Work as Meditation, as we spoke on and off about my life and work/money, but having been negative to anything guru or religion, it took me a while to even get used to the idea, but having read their website, they did seem to know what they were doing. So I became curious to this new way of looking at work which they claim/advertise

I knew no-one at the resort and application/reservation went all through email, which as it turned out, were other WAM people, new or old-timers, and having never been to India either, was quite the experience.

And I hated India, the stench, the pollution, the differences in wealth living side by side, death and misery next to luxurious mansions. Hate it !
Read more

MoonBlog 23.4

Sometimes it feels like an € 1140,- prison, and feel I need to move, ‘faire bouger’.

It even sounds a little ungrateful, having all this. But it seems not enough. Or even too much, at times.

It just does not feel *just right* and wondering if anything ever will. Hmpf Noticing a great calm, eye of the storm perhaps even. Something is up, while nothing is going on.
Are we hiding, playing make belief, shallow superficiality, or…? Are we perhaps readying ourselves, sharpening our knives and qualities, honing them, or are we just licking our paws as we sink our fat bellies in the lush sunshine with clouds endlessly sailing by, and by, bye-bye.

Purring in hedonistic bliss.

*sigh* deeper and deeper, the merry go round.

Is a new giant leap coming, or will we let it pass us by until the next, or the one after, hmmm

Do you feel a pause, or a break, a momentous moment of stillness, or a dragging clutched drenched in sticky tar-sand gooey.

A slow rant that is lament, a kick in the nuts and a pat on the head.

And a cabin on a piece of land with a lake on-site in-sight, hmmm

*mumble mumble jumble tumble*
Read more

MoonBlog 59.5

On Reflector Group Moderation

It is remarkable to on the one hand say you do not like to be told when doing something wrong, and at the same time kick those same people as being control freaks, and then also justify yourself by telling how little it actually is… Seriously dude…

2 reflectors walk into a French Restaurant, and -demand- ‘French’ fries with a Big Mac…

It is not that we -have- to post daily, all or each single one of us. It is not that we have to entertain or be entertained, like planet Generator is already doing 24/7 in this neon lit global village. There is nothing wrong with no postings for 3 months, like it happens in the Reflector email list.

Unless we do indeed want to gobble up shallow bits and sound bytes, and through it an feel comfortable in our feeling alienated.
Read more

What is a reflector?

What is the difference between this reflector and that reflector?

How do we support a reflector, is there such a thing as ‘a reflector’ support, as in singular way of supporting all reflectors?

How do we know? Have we studied, contemplated, meditated, talked about what it is to be a reflector, or do we follow that what we -believe- a reflector to be?

And I don’t mean to have done these or that courses, no, how hard and long have you, yourself, gone into what it means to be who you are?

Do we follow what our minds tell us it should be, just like our minds told us Human Design was spiritual.

Is that even true?

Can we discern how different this reflector might operate, engage, speak, listen, wobble, walk, than this one?

Do we allow for uniqueness?

What is the level of awareness and engagement amongst ourselves?

When we talk gates and lines, what do we tell, a repetition from half a page or a book we once read? Or our true inner experience, or our wittnessing of another.

Would you like to play a game of not-self centered behaviour?
Like confrontation and truth, questioning everything, answering everything, attracting attention, undirectional love, ego crowing, substance abuse, unstoppable workload, unobtainable deadlines.

Would you like to engage in your Human Design?

I heard Genoa say the other day: “The mind is gonna love human design until it becomes something real. And then it’s gonna find every excuse to split town as fast as it can and it wants to take you with it.”

So, am I being over-serious? Yes I am, ofcourse I am, and you can tell me that. Also I’m a joker, of sorts, but you gotta wanna see that, or else you will see me as another nasty archetype, with whatever you think of that.

Oh and if you don’t like what I say, you can either say that, or just ignore me. it is all optional.
Read more

MoonBlog 4.3

I have found, after 3 years living my design on a daily basis, and following strategy and authority and looking at my lunar cycle, that these readings are not too expensive.

Considering the life changing effect they have, I would actually call them cheap (!).

There is a whole lot of free stuff out there, but to me indeed until you also have studied some things, had a proper reading with explanation of your very own lunar cycle, done a living your design workshop, (which are all very interesting experiences I would not have missed for the world), all this free stuff seem not enough, or seem like some kind of hidden language/messages. But they aren’t.

There will come a point it all starts to make sense, because it -is- it’s own language, just like French, English, or German is. One day you’ll start to talk it like you were born with it, and see. See beyond the mind and knowledge itself, and into your own self. And start recognizing all these new-age or ancient texts, about answers lying within, not out there, or in others. All inside ourselves, even if we learn it through looking at and engaging with others, but inside is such a wealth of sheer knowing.

Getting a reading, learning about your lunar cycle, and strategy and authority, and a lot of patience, forgiveness, loving yourself and a whole bunch of humor, has gotten me past most of my worries of old. Now I still have some, or new ones but they are different, and are much more ego based. I really start to grasp who I really am, and what I am here for, I can almost taste it.

And then another day, it all seems to have eluded me, a cosmic joke. Know there is also a reflector mailinglist and online virtual cafe, for reflectors to meet and share, besides the Reflector FaceBook Group and other pages.

And however alone a reflectors path may look like sometimes, we are constantly interconnected with each other, it feels like, to me and others.
Read more

MoonBlog 5.6

The hurt pathway

When we became friends, it was not because we liked the same bands, or the same style of being, clothing, people or politics, or the same hatred for our upbringing, parents and school, although we truly believed we did.

We became friends because we recognized, even if unconsciously, the same wounds. We recognized the same avoidance of our wounding. We recognized the same behaviour towards our ignoring of our hurts. The same patterns in denying and running away.

-That- is what connected us.

And now we disconnect because we differ in that behaviour towards our wounds.
Read more

MoonBlog 14.3

All aboard

Here I am

living my life

Just, living it. Even if my former self, or the former shard of what I was, or how I behaved, would like my life to be much more saint-like, or worshippable. (ah vanity and pride)
Which actually is more and more true too, if you let go of what that should look like.
Hmm aaaaah, the paradox of all this bullshit… 🙂
Read more

MoonBlog 46.6

Seducing Thy-Self

Just now, with the sun/earth in 44.4/24.4 and the moon in the 46.6, my longing for a mate, mentally, and the longing for sharing/making offspring, really came from this now empty space between the middle of my ribcage.

(some call it the g-center, I don’t know, and I don’t care to know, sort of, yet).

The jerking off that followed this feeling, this longing, this drive, was not sexual at all, as sometimes happens/is not that uncommen either.
Read more

MoonBlog 38.2 Politeness

Tudo bem?

why do I keep watching TV till 2 o’clock at night? Cause I’m bored, and have nothing to wake up for anyways. I do like to sleep late, always have, but ever so often I have such and such plans that I can’t sleep till very early in the morning, wake up and go do the thing I planned. But at least 90% of the time, I’m bored, and have nothing to live nor die for. (ha Byron Brown can have a field day ! 😉

Even though since getting a re-invitation to come live in the North of Brazil, where I can be the caretaker of a few acres of land, (have to) build my own house (and theirs?), and start living of the land, through a combination of Anastasia family domain, Permaculture/Transition Towns, Aquaponics and whatever is useful and fun. Years ago Katia the Brazilian wife of my nephew Pascal invited me, with one year room and board from them, after which I would need to sort it out myself, which was a wonderful invitation, but they never went. But now there is a renewed interest to go there, with slightly altered plans/location. So I’m going to check it out over there, and in the mean time the perspective and scope of my permaculture studies have now been added with smallholding books and some serious eco building books.
Read more

MoonBlog 7.4 The abdicator

Ramble On

The simple fact of me being here, in these genekeys, confirms my victimhood/martyrdom, I am victim of my own beliefs, of my perceived need to do something about this life, about all that suffering, about all these longing(s).

While it just is (what it is) there is nothing to change, besides my perception and/or judgement/opinion about it (which is another half-truth) There is nothing to escape from or work towards.

Life just is, and I allow myself to be a victim of anything and everything I think life is supposed to mean, or be.
Read more

MoonBlog 44.5 Manipulation

Unconscious

is what I feel like today, now. As if I had a severe blow to the head, somewhat intoxicated even.

I’m sitting here over emotional, but very quiet. Observing myself, my feelings, my triggers, my shadows, the timing and impact of things here and now. I’m feeling my gut, a knot.
Trying to dive in deeper, not running away. Even though I have done several distracting things, I don’t seem to be able to walk away from a deeper and longer experience of this, what is.

I had an ever ecstatic life building up since a few weeks ago. I am very busy with all these courses, interacting with people on different levels, and this permaculture/garden is taking up quite a bit of resources, mentally and physically.

In my ecstasy, I expanded some more towards others, and we shared our lives some more. I was not on a cloud yet, but I sure did feel like floating/flying.
Read more